Friday Night
For some reason, I am in the habit of only posting on Fridays (and usually in sets of three). Sometimes, I make an entry and save to post later, so that I don't overwhelm my small audience. Other times, I just do it. Tonight is one of those times.
I'm happy, (and a little ridiculous) as of late. I'm trying to push the ridiculousness out of my mind, enjoying it for what it is, but the happiness can stay. I'm proud of myself for what I've accomplished in the last few weeks, let alone in the last 5 years. I've really worked hard to get where I am. After last semester's 7 class nightmare I kind of feel like I can do anything and like I have all this free time. I'm still de-stressing from it, but it works. I took the last few days off of work because I'd been spending too much time there. I kind of regret it because I missed some amazing events that I planned for our annual gauntlet of competitions (20 point-accruing events in 9 days). The residents are super into it and I made sure to be extra creative this year to make up for the suckage of my predecessor. It was nice not going to work though, each day after class I was like "whoa...am I going home now? For real?" which is strange because I'm usually gone from 8 AM to 12 AM every day. It also means I got to the gym every day this week. I'll bet I could make it tomorrow, too, but for my body's sake I should take a day off, lest I screw up my muscle development.
I think me going to the gym so often is what's been making me ravenous. I just want to eat eat eat. I've done a pretty good job controlling it (with disgusting amounts of water and proportionate amounts of healthy food). I know it's only a matter of time until the cravings go away, but it's particularly important to me that I'm responsible about my intake at this point because 1) I'm trying to get back into the shape I was in before I went home for break, and 2) I'd like to do it particularly before I have my interview to work in Japan. I'm tall enough, so I'd like to minimize the damage to "she might be a little tall" instead of "THAT BITCH IS HUGE!!" I kid. But I know that every little bit helps when you're trying to sell yourself.
I kind of meant to go to a coffee shop and read, but I did do some reading at home. Perhaps I'll get to bed early tonight so I can get down to business in the morning. With this nice weather (OMG 45 tomorrow?!) I've almost completely convinced myself to wear a dress when I go out tomorrow night.
One final reflection. The other week I was spending time with a group of half new friends, half old friends. We were playing a round of mafia when one of the new friends said, "I don't know if we can trust Steph! She seems very composed but like she's waiting to strike!" And at that moment I realized that that's kind of my demeanor in general; I'm usually composed, watching, and in control. This realization didn't help my case any because they ended up killing me off, but it seems like that might be something I should think about, as it may be a social barrier from time to time.
I'm happy, (and a little ridiculous) as of late. I'm trying to push the ridiculousness out of my mind, enjoying it for what it is, but the happiness can stay. I'm proud of myself for what I've accomplished in the last few weeks, let alone in the last 5 years. I've really worked hard to get where I am. After last semester's 7 class nightmare I kind of feel like I can do anything and like I have all this free time. I'm still de-stressing from it, but it works. I took the last few days off of work because I'd been spending too much time there. I kind of regret it because I missed some amazing events that I planned for our annual gauntlet of competitions (20 point-accruing events in 9 days). The residents are super into it and I made sure to be extra creative this year to make up for the suckage of my predecessor. It was nice not going to work though, each day after class I was like "whoa...am I going home now? For real?" which is strange because I'm usually gone from 8 AM to 12 AM every day. It also means I got to the gym every day this week. I'll bet I could make it tomorrow, too, but for my body's sake I should take a day off, lest I screw up my muscle development.
I think me going to the gym so often is what's been making me ravenous. I just want to eat eat eat. I've done a pretty good job controlling it (with disgusting amounts of water and proportionate amounts of healthy food). I know it's only a matter of time until the cravings go away, but it's particularly important to me that I'm responsible about my intake at this point because 1) I'm trying to get back into the shape I was in before I went home for break, and 2) I'd like to do it particularly before I have my interview to work in Japan. I'm tall enough, so I'd like to minimize the damage to "she might be a little tall" instead of "THAT BITCH IS HUGE!!" I kid. But I know that every little bit helps when you're trying to sell yourself.
I kind of meant to go to a coffee shop and read, but I did do some reading at home. Perhaps I'll get to bed early tonight so I can get down to business in the morning. With this nice weather (OMG 45 tomorrow?!) I've almost completely convinced myself to wear a dress when I go out tomorrow night.
One final reflection. The other week I was spending time with a group of half new friends, half old friends. We were playing a round of mafia when one of the new friends said, "I don't know if we can trust Steph! She seems very composed but like she's waiting to strike!" And at that moment I realized that that's kind of my demeanor in general; I'm usually composed, watching, and in control. This realization didn't help my case any because they ended up killing me off, but it seems like that might be something I should think about, as it may be a social barrier from time to time.