(no subject)
Some days I wake up and feel the pressure of the entire universe sitting on my chest. I feel like a failure even before I open my eyes. I want to be ignorant of the world. To live my egocentric life like only the very young and very old can do. I want to spend my days with Ben and Jerry and not give a flip about my weight. I want to kiss and never tell. I want to fall asleep next to the man who loves me for me and is not afraid to say it out loud. I want to walk in the snow at four o’clock in the morning when the only sound is the tiny crystals hitting the soft ground beneath them. I want to sleep in on rainy days and read every book that I’ve always wanted. I want to be mean to unkind people who say and do bitter things so they can feel better about themselves. I want to tell the people who matter to me how much I love them. I want my girlfriends to know that they are perfect and special and wonderful. I want them to know that no man should ever be the judge of how they see themselves. No fashion magazine with super thin models or actress with an eating disorder should ever make you feel less that the special person that I love. I want the world to open their eyes to true beauty.
I want to go to work and not be scared that I’ll be shot at or threatened by parents. I want to know the children in my classroom go home to a meal and a warm house with parent who love them. I want to forget the abuse and neglect that I see every day in their eyes. I want them to love learning like I love teaching them. I want them to understand the importance of being honest and true to themselves. I want them to know that they will grow up and things will get better. I hate knowing that I can’t promise them everything will be alright. I get up every day thinking that no matter how bad I think I have it, there is a five year old who hides bruises. A second grader who devours his lunch because he knows it’s the only meal he will see that day. A sixth grader who does her best to hide her pregnancy. The sophomore who was raped by someone she trusted. The senior who graduates knowing they are destined for a factory job with no hope of advancement because they can not afford college. I realize how lucky I truly am.
My dear friends, I want you to know, no matter how bad you are feeling, how horrible, mean and unsettled, I love you and pray that you are happy. I am supremely blessed for knowing you and knowing that when I am sad, upset and scared that you are there for me. Thank you.
I want to go to work and not be scared that I’ll be shot at or threatened by parents. I want to know the children in my classroom go home to a meal and a warm house with parent who love them. I want to forget the abuse and neglect that I see every day in their eyes. I want them to love learning like I love teaching them. I want them to understand the importance of being honest and true to themselves. I want them to know that they will grow up and things will get better. I hate knowing that I can’t promise them everything will be alright. I get up every day thinking that no matter how bad I think I have it, there is a five year old who hides bruises. A second grader who devours his lunch because he knows it’s the only meal he will see that day. A sixth grader who does her best to hide her pregnancy. The sophomore who was raped by someone she trusted. The senior who graduates knowing they are destined for a factory job with no hope of advancement because they can not afford college. I realize how lucky I truly am.
My dear friends, I want you to know, no matter how bad you are feeling, how horrible, mean and unsettled, I love you and pray that you are happy. I am supremely blessed for knowing you and knowing that when I am sad, upset and scared that you are there for me. Thank you.