If I Die Before I Wake. [Open]

[am_i_even_alive]

Characters: Yoite am_i_even_alive and Cherry Charles J Chrishunds likeagoodson and who ever wants to butt in!
Setting/Location: The small room Charles uses as his Chapel on the third floor of the Caravan.
Date & Time: Day 30 around the break of nightfall.
Warnings: Confused teenage hymaphrodite boy seeking god. Blood and illness. Yoite is a warning in himself >_<

Comments

[am_i_even_alive]

And it was a emotional first for Yoite.

Yoite had never before sort to seek out guidance for his many troubling thoughts, advice was normally always throw at him, spat or barked at him and normally after he'd already done wrong. When he was younger his thoughts were ignored altogether, so having the chance to talk, finally try and understand himself a little more, it was overwhelming. Poor Charley, perhaps this was going to be too much for him to take on?

This was a poor excuse for a church, there was no stained glass windows? No choir boys singing in angelic chorus .. but for some reason, that fact only comforted Yoite more. A humble little make shift church as bleak as a midwinter but with all the comfort of a dedicated heart. It was perfect.

Turning his attention to Charley taking his hat from his head so he could hold it against his chest. Long inky thin hair as dark as onyx, tumbled down over his shoulders giving him a feminine air about him.

"We're alone?" That was important to Yoite, he didn't want anyone to hear what he had to say.

[likeagoodson]

He would approach this endeavor as he did any other task before him, vigilant and ready to do what was needed of him. Of all the things he'd left behind, it was all he had remaining in his possession to offer someone. This...boy - yes, he was sure it was a boy despite the overly feminine features - was looking for guidance, something he could actually give him without exhausting himself. And Charley was tired--of this journey, of never feeling sated, of being on his own.

Nevertheless, he gave the other person a kinder smile; this was not about him now.

"For the moment, yes." Charley navigated the small room easily, making sure the door was shut before turning his attention on him again. "I apologize for the lack of confessionals. It's a work-in-progress."

He walked back to his original spot, silently pleased with the turn of events, and he took a seat in one of the chairs, keeping his gaze focused on Yoite. Indicating the one beside him, Charley became peculiarly solemn.

"Please sit. We can talk better that way."

[am_i_even_alive]

It was a heavy weight off of his shoulders, the moment he sat down on the humble little chair. His poor sight was faint and fading fast, but from the close distance to Charley he was seated, Yoite could make out the males features. He was tall, just a little more so than Yoite, well kept from what he could tell ... but there was a coldness in his eyes. A priest that hid sins? It took the eyes of a troubled soul to recognize his own kind.

"You look young. How long have you been a Father for?" It was a fair question. Yoite's hands sat upon his lap, fingers twitching a little from time and a again, nervous, though he didn't really understand why or what exactly it meant that he was feeling this way. "You're hair ... is it ... yellow? " He meant blond obviously. "Yoite ... knows someone blond." His voice sounded heavy and full of sorrow, like a slow sinking ship.

feet shifting some on the floor, glancing down to his hat that he'd placed in his lap as he sat before, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Yoite can help, i-if you need helping out here." he was just talking what he was thinking, rare for him but he's never done this kind of thing before, only heard others talk of it.

[likeagoodson]

He watched him with the quiet air of someone witnessing this for the first time; in confession, an individual's face was obscured by the screen between them. It made it easier to admit to sins and whatever else the person wanted to discuss. The boy beside him seemed nervous--whether from inexperience or something deeper, Charley couldn't quite determine. Still, he relaxed into his chair to give the other peace of mind. This was often a daunting thing to approach with honesty and an open heart.

"Only very recently." Mostly truth. Charley was certainly older than he looked, but no one needed to know that. "But I've known God all my life. If it makes you uncomfortable..."

It was an important issue to address, though Charley purposely left it open for Yoite to take advantage of if he needed - or wanted - to. He continued on, finding it best to warm up to the person as casually but formally as possible. This was common etiquette for him, hands clasped in his lap as he focused his gaze on the other without really staring. Looking but not seeing.

"You're very observant." He'd caught that drop in his voice. "Tell me about this...blond person."

[am_i_even_alive]

Yoite would have no trouble in confessing when he got around to it. He would look the other straight in the eyes to confess the sin's he'd made, it was the more gentle side of things, this whole talking business, Yoite was no good at it, never had been and never would be. Charley would soon learn this fact. For what it was worth, Yoite could sense the goodness in Charley -- he could also sense a great darkness too. That would be ignored for now, he wasn't here to judge anyone other than himself.

"All your life? ... God never spoke to Yoite, so I stopped talking to them a long time ago ...I'd listen though, incase they called for me." Oh what a confusing and troubles childhood Yoite had to suffer, it was amazing he was talking to Charley about such topics at all.

Looking out the small window just as a small bird passed by, though to Yoite's failing eyes it was nothing more than a faint shadow. "Hm?" the question made him thing more on the person that had came to mind, Yoite found it easy to talk about them for some reason. "He'll be worried. He shouldn't worry about Yoite, but I know he will be." Turning to look at Charley, his eyes, lost in an obsidian darkness with milky flecks clear in that, the cause of his partial blindness.

"Yukimi?." He said, though it sounded more of a question than an answer. "He found me, found .... Sora and made it a boy, gave it a name ... Yoite he would call it, look after it even after its choice." If this was confusing, it was the only way Yoite knew how to talk, and on such a private and painful topic? "Father..." he paused, still looking straight at Charley. "What is heaven really like?"

LIFE ATE ME I AM SO SORRY :(

[likeagoodson]

He took it all in stride, as he did most things, and Charley waited patiently for him to finish. There was never any rushing one's most private thoughts, especially in these times of contrition. He'd experienced this himself a long while ago; though the details of it were blurred in bloodlust, he accepted them readily as his own faults. Just as he was slowly allowing Yoite the opportunity. Charley remained still, neither looking at the boy nor judging him.

"A guardian?" He spoke the word casually, wanting to placate him if it was, indeed, a painful subject to discuss. And on he went: "Are you asking my opinion?"

Was this always how confession went? Charley, a little confused, had no real idea what to expect. Did he know what Heaven was like? The Scriptures repeated it thus; that the foundations of the city walls were of precious stone, gates of pearl and streets of gold. That God would grant his believers endless joy and peace. Charley wished for it all, hoped that when he found his end that it would be just as the Bible read, but personally, he did not think it was exactly so.

"I haven't seen it myself, but if you work hard to be the best person you can be... You will be happy there, and there won't be any suffering--as there is in life."

/Its alright ^^ I've been snowed under with RL things too >_<

[am_i_even_alive]

It was at least good, that Charley waited for Yoite to finish what he was already struggling with. He was so used to people talking over him, missing his points or not even bothering to listen in the first place, so, being in this humble little room, with Charley, was starting to become more and more so comfortable. It was odd however, Yoite couldn't see Charley all that well, but he could tell he wasn't being stared at, now was the other thinking anything harsh or judgemental about him. It was comforting.

Pausing to cough, Yoite covered his lips. Blood pooling from between his fingers, dripping slowly down to land upon his lap, staining his dark jeans with a shinny tint. "Excuse me." he spoke soon after, drying the blood from his lips with the back of a hand, Yoite was used to this after all.

It was possibly nothing at all like how normal people would confess, Yoite had never done it before himself, he was just trusting in the holyman he believed Charley to be. Uttering his most private secrets in the hopes that thy would be forgiven and forgotten.

"I see ..." he sounded a little sad at what Charley ahd explained about heaven. "And the other place? if you're rejected into heaven?" As he was sure after that explination that he would be damned if that was the case. He'd killed, he was even killing himself slowly ... it was a tragic thing to realize ... that he'd be suffering even after death.