be a shmuck, read a book (OPEN)

[manazon]

Characters: Nemesis and you.

Setting/Location: The Beast's library

Date & Time: Day 6, mid-afternoon

Warnings: talking in the libary oH NO

Summary: A spy in a room full of information can you not see where this is already headed I mean srsly

Comments

I expect great things from this

[house_1_god_0]

House wasn't much one for fairytales. Never had been, even when he was at the age where you tend to think that somewhere, there really is a princess trapped in a castle. He could blame his father for instilling the value of cold, unfeeling logic from a young age, along with other things. But this whole world was one big damn fairytale, and unfortunately for his precious logic, he recognized this one.

Beauty and the Beast. Of course. He hadn't heard anything about the Beauty part of that equation yet, but he was willing to bet that she would show up. It was too perfect and Disney-like. Big, angry, hairy guy, big castle, precious flower--It was all too perfect.

So he was doing his best to ignore that by making his way to the library. At the very least, he would pocket some books for the ride, since the lack of TV and his PSP was already agonizing.

Nemesis probably heard him coming from the abnormal sound of his walking with his cane on marble. When House stepped inside the library after searching for a while, he was vaguely surprised. "Looks like someone had the same idea."

House didn't pause at the door, just went with his silent appraisal. Normal, average looking guy. The kind of guy police hated to have committed a crime because he didn't have any real distinguishing features. Lucky guy, then. People always got House on the cane and the stubble.

"So, John Doe, you tired of the local yokels we're stuck with, too?"

OH SHI--

[manazon]

Tom was pretty absorbed in both the silence and the task of deciphering those extra loopy loops of handwritten prose, but the tap-tapping of the cane and dull echo of shoes wasn't something he was bound to miss. Still, that was Nemesis on alert, not Joe Schmoe.

"Oh--" He made a decent show of being startled by the voice that spoke up, sitting up and whipping his head around. The look of surprise watered into something more cordial and curious as he closed the book and started to rise.

"Who, me?" Joe uttered, a touch higher in tone and laced with a very gentle southern accent. He gave a light, brief laugh. "No, I...I actually hadn't had the pleasure of meetin' everybody yet. I figured I'd save that for that big party that's gonna happen." He rose to his feet and teetered between moving towards House and the door and just standing there. The latter won out, and he gave a bit of a wave. "I'm Joeseph. Nice to meetcha."

[house_1_god_0]

It was better that way, since House wouldn't have shook Joeseph's hand anyways. He wandered closer to the bookshelves opposite of the door, evaluating the long ladder that lead up to what was likely the more interesting and juicy books. It'd been a long time since he'd tried a ladder, and without the comfort of a quick visit to the hospital, he wasn't going to try his luck by, well, trying.

He started to thumb through the books by their spines, looking for familiar titles, or just anything that interested him.

"Yeah, you, Joe. I don't see anyone else around here to talk to, unless the book are," he paused, giving a hand gesture similar to jazz hands, "enchanted. Too much Disney magic up in here for my tastes."

He took out a book, flipping through it. Sherlock Holmes. Not bad, all things considered. He stuck it in his bag of wonders that he'd won "fairly" from the people of Sleepywoods.

"Big party. Right. If it doesn't have blackjack and hookers, it's not a party."

[manazon]

Tom would've smirked if he'd been Tom at the moment. Joe just gave a bit of a dull blink, as one not entirely on the level with sarcasm would. "Oh, well, I heard everybody had to wear masks," he offered, turning the book over in hand before setting on the smallest stack at the table. "Sounds kinda funny to me, but it'd be rude to say no. 'Specially since the host is a big beast, right? That's kinda funny, too. Like some fairy tale horror movie thing, huh?"

[house_1_god_0]

"I shouldn't have to wear a mask. The cane gives me away, unless everyone has to tote around a cane for the effect," House said, tapping the cane against the bottom of the bookshelf for effect.

House realized just then that "stealing" books from the beast who was less-than-pleased about something being stolen was probably dangerous. It didn't really make him pause, though. House was the kind of guy that lived for danger, even if it might get him punched, drugged or almost dead. It was part of his life plan. Ask Wilson. (He could really use a replacement Wilson, here.)

"Masquerades are still pretty gay, though. I mean, I've never seen a straight dude wearing frills and a bedazzled mask. Why can't it just be a good old fashioned bachelor party complete with body shots. You can't not have a good time when those are involved."

And ironically, he pocketed a copy of Satre for the ride.

[manazon]

Joe tilted his head and gave the cane a look as all the tapping indicated. Tom filed it away with all the other notes and quirks that were apparent right then and there. Grade-A cynic, crotchety, you-kids-get-off-my-lawn without the age factor...Either completely useless or a secret genius. Why did all the smart ones have to be such a huge pain in the ass, anyway? So far, the conversation wasn't exposing much genius so much as it was just the disgruntled, elderly vibe. Not that Tom had anything against body shots, by no means. They just weren't going to be of much use at the moment.

"Guess you'd know about that better than me," Joe gave a sheepish laugh, finally deciding to sit back down. "I never been to a bachelor party before. Or a fancy one." He tilted his head the other way slightly with interest. "You not gonna go, then?"

[house_1_god_0]

"I can't say I'm surprised. But you also don't work in a hospital with young and stupid doctors. They get married, then divorced, then married again like gangbusters. There's probably a bachelor or bachlorette party every week, for all I know."

Actually, he usually did know, but he never went. Actually, he was never invited. But Wilson and House, in their gesture of honoring the ancient tradition of teenage girls, gossiped daily about the going-ons of Princeton-Plainsboro. This included such gripping topics as which nurse had the nicest ass (Cuddy usually won) and who had gotten caught doing who in the janitor's closet.

But House paused for a moment. Despite already mocking it, he really hadn't thought about whether he wanted to go or not. He had been to carnevale when he was a kid--they were passing through Italy right when it was going on, and his mother had convinced dear old "dad" to let them go for the day. He just remembered an amount of colors that would make children's breakfast cereals envious and the canals.

"Might as well," he said with a shrug, "it's not like there's much else to do."