(no subject)
I'm leaving for Corpus tomorrow. Going to see my Grandma. She's dying. She has cancer. And Tumors. Three. And the cancer is stage four. At stage four they send you home to die. She's still in the hospital though. I think they're still doing stuff to help. She misses Pa-pa though. He was the first dead person I saw. That was the scariest thing I ever did. Walk down teh aisle at teh funeral home at the rosary to see him. He looked like he was about to sit up and shout "Gotcha!" But he didnt At teh funeral he looked less like himself, I think the make-up was wearing off. My little cousin didn't stsrt crying until they closed the casket, and he realized he wouldn't be able to see him again. My Dad cried. I've never seen him cry before. But if he hadn't cried something would have been wrong with him. It was still disconcerting to see the pillar of emotional strength in your life start crying. I usually don't cry unless there are people around. It gets really hard not to cry when they're crying too.
I really don't know what to do. I found out when my Mom told Mr. Hart, I wasn't supposed to hear, so she didn't mince words. I think I like it better that way. That night I went to Main Event with a friend of mine and stayed out until 2'o' clock. Between 1:30 and 2:00 I ate a whole bag of skittles. I went to bed at 2:10. At 5:30 I threw up, luckily I made it to the bathroom first. I went to sleep. At 8:15 I woke up to my alarm. I stumbled out of bed and and out of my room. My Mom told me to get dressed. I was tingly all over inside. Long story short I was sick. I could walk around but I looked like a drunk. Then I had to go back to bed. I culdn't get up to the top bunk, and the baby was on the bottom bunk. My Mom says I turned pale as a ghost, then I fell against the wall ( I was standing right next to it), and slid down to the floor where I took a nap 'cause it was cool.
Apparently I don't grieve well, so my mind said "Oh, we need to lie in bed all day to deal with this" and my body said "I know! Let's be sick! Then we have an excuse to stay in bed all day!" So I was sick and slept all day yesterday.
I really don't know what to do. I found out when my Mom told Mr. Hart, I wasn't supposed to hear, so she didn't mince words. I think I like it better that way. That night I went to Main Event with a friend of mine and stayed out until 2'o' clock. Between 1:30 and 2:00 I ate a whole bag of skittles. I went to bed at 2:10. At 5:30 I threw up, luckily I made it to the bathroom first. I went to sleep. At 8:15 I woke up to my alarm. I stumbled out of bed and and out of my room. My Mom told me to get dressed. I was tingly all over inside. Long story short I was sick. I could walk around but I looked like a drunk. Then I had to go back to bed. I culdn't get up to the top bunk, and the baby was on the bottom bunk. My Mom says I turned pale as a ghost, then I fell against the wall ( I was standing right next to it), and slid down to the floor where I took a nap 'cause it was cool.
Apparently I don't grieve well, so my mind said "Oh, we need to lie in bed all day to deal with this" and my body said "I know! Let's be sick! Then we have an excuse to stay in bed all day!" So I was sick and slept all day yesterday.