HOMESTUCK KINK MEME XI CLOSED

[masu_trout]

Golly gee, my good fellows! It appears we've filled this meme right up! *Wrings at kerchief with perspiring mitts*

Please, pack up all your wonderful prompts and take them over HERE!

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LEDE | Part 1 | 3/11

[undersaffiresky]

-(ø)-

You remember Bro. You remember how he died, his own katana driven through his chest and out his back like he was made out of paper. You remember wondering why he couldn’t just be hurt but breathing instead (because it just wasn’t right, seeing him lying there like that like something broken), while your mind tried to make sense of it all and think up a viable explanation for how the hell the whole thing even happened, because until then Bro had always been immortal. Him being dead will never stop being wrong, will never stop burning as if LOHAC is living underneath your skin.

But most of all you remember how he lived.

You remember (vaguely) being a child just learning how to walk as he guides you through it, though he might as well be training you for the future ectobaby olympics considering his questionable teaching methods. You remember falling, and him watching you fall. You remember crashing into the floor over and over again like it was your destiny to fall forever. But, really, what you remember most is standing up each and every time and walking towards him through the labyrinth of smuppets that cover the floor, because it’s then (and only then) that you can see the first hint of something like pride radiating from him, the slight two-pixel-long crack in his otherwise stoic facade that might as well be a smile.

(But maybe you were just seeing things.)

He lets you fall many other times throughout the years, rarely, if ever, stepping in, because pain (as Bro will tell you many times as your ass meets hard, unyielding pavement) isn’t something you can avoid, no matter the walls and safeguards you build around yourself. It’s much more worthwhile to learn to deal and get back up no matter how much it inwardly hurts, because pain is nothing really. So what if it hurts? Hell, it doesn’t hurt. Play numb if you have to. What’s really something is rising up again and again and again until your knees are raw, red, and bleeding from hitting ground so many times, because there are many things worth standing for, even if your only goal in life is just to prove that you can.

And no matter how distant Bro kept himself emotionally at times, teaching you by iron stalwart example to keep everything cool and independent behind your sunglasses, he was never really that far away now that you think about it. He always expected you to push yourself to your limit, but never to the breaking point. He was insane (but cool, always cool; and he knew how to ramp irony up to the eleventh as if he had invented it himself like the Greeks had invented Zeus), but you think he knew exactly what he was doing. You wonder now how much he knew and never bothered to tell you.

You also remember other things.

You remember future-past Houston and its blistering heat. The sounds of cawing crows flying without a care around your high-rise apartment only to die and be reborn and die again.

You remember how it felt to hold a sword. To fly along the rooftop and move with purpose, allowing your own momentum to carry you forward as your brother danced flashstep circles around you while Cal grinned and cackled without ever having to make a sound.

You remember the game. You remember the meteors that streaked across the sky and caused the world to go up in flames and normal life as you knew it to die. You remember the imps, the euphoria of dashing through time over and over again on constant repeat until it became routine. The ticking heartbeat of LOHAC as you climbed up the echeladder. The naknaknak of jaws and the cha-ching of boondollars filling your digital piggy bank as you dominated the stock exchange. You can still feel the bullets tearing through your chest, the pain that follows, and the warm blood that soaks through your shirt as you discover what it feels like to die.

You remember the trolls. How they finally looked as you rose out of the Green Sun to meet them even though you had expected nothing to remain of you. You remember Terezi (H3H3H3H3 D4V3 1S TH4T R34LLY YOU?), and there’s not a moment you don’t look up in the star-saturated sky and see her there.

But most of all, you remember them.