feel the need to update
i miss my friends, my life i had in germany... i miss not having anyone to talk to. here i have no friends... aimee was so great at helping us get our apartment and i feel i owe her so much, especially since she's letting us borrow a air mattress, but she works so yea. i need a friend, im about to go crazy, not getting any sleep, eating only enough to feed emma on. staying in the apartment all day adn night just to save money and i dont have a car. well i do but scott's been driving it due to heat, it has ac and the red mustang doesn't and has a hole so he feels all heat from engine. yeah so here i've been without internet till today, well yesterday since it is 3 am and nothing to do all day. i can clean but where am i going to put clothes if i have no hangers or dresser? whats the point? i need to stuff teh stuff back into suitcases in her room since our unacomapnied bags will hopefully arrive mon or tues into our apartment. it doesn't feel like home here... i can't see our stuff here... i know where i want to put almost everything but i can't see it... i could go to the pool here but um its been too hot to have emma out in the sun, really it was 105 at 530 the other nite when we got back from getting groceries.
i gotta walk over there at 8 to see about a leak we have with the ac, the closet that holds it and the water heater has water all on the floor and its on the carpet in front of the door as well. we just saw this wed but i couldnt make it over there thursday so i gotta see what to do in the am. there's nothing to do here... i mean there is but i'm alone. i miss having scott around 24/7. really i do, he was on leave for 30 days, technically only 14 but with the 4 day and tdy and stuff yea 30 days of having him around you get kinda use to it.
i was looking through his folder he's been taking for inprocessing and they've given him a booklet and a cd on iraq stuff like word phrases and such and there's a paper in there about deployment pay... *sigh* who knows, the chance of the unit going is really good, we were told back in Germany that the unit has to be deployable by feb, adn that if they go it would be next year. what will i do if he goes again?? i know now i can't just sit around in the apartment but i can't work if hes gone. *sigh* i would hate to move to b/c then what when he comes back?? anyone want to come live with me while he's gone??
we know we're going to have another baby... just when is the ?... i don't want another one, but i don't want emma to be an only child either. but i dont want to wait to get prego eitehr b/c my "problems" are only getting worse. i had my period last week and OMG... i was in so much pain just from the cramps that seriously i couldn't move. i didn't miss those... and with emma not sleeping good and teething, i think i dont want anotehr one but i do. i would love to be preg again (shhh dont tell scott) . i loved being pregnant, i felt good, i was eating soo much better, walking all the time and i was overall very healthy and just felt so good. this time last yr i was finding out i was pregnant. i want them close together... like less than 20 mths. i know that's CLOSE but if he's going to be gone and then be getting out in 2 yrs i might as well do it now. i know we need to talk about this more and decide something b/c as soon as i quit breastfeeding in september im going back on the pill or something... i really can't handle the cramps and stuff... too much pain and hello i did go through natural childbirth and would rather do that again then have cramps.
*sigh* i want to go home, i tried staying the day we left but they wouldn't let me. things would have been easier had i stayed. less fighting, more talking, me getting a break from stuff. we dont fight fight but we have our diffrences and dont agree on certain things.
anyways my little monkey is awake again so time to eat... for her anyways...
i gotta walk over there at 8 to see about a leak we have with the ac, the closet that holds it and the water heater has water all on the floor and its on the carpet in front of the door as well. we just saw this wed but i couldnt make it over there thursday so i gotta see what to do in the am. there's nothing to do here... i mean there is but i'm alone. i miss having scott around 24/7. really i do, he was on leave for 30 days, technically only 14 but with the 4 day and tdy and stuff yea 30 days of having him around you get kinda use to it.
i was looking through his folder he's been taking for inprocessing and they've given him a booklet and a cd on iraq stuff like word phrases and such and there's a paper in there about deployment pay... *sigh* who knows, the chance of the unit going is really good, we were told back in Germany that the unit has to be deployable by feb, adn that if they go it would be next year. what will i do if he goes again?? i know now i can't just sit around in the apartment but i can't work if hes gone. *sigh* i would hate to move to b/c then what when he comes back?? anyone want to come live with me while he's gone??
we know we're going to have another baby... just when is the ?... i don't want another one, but i don't want emma to be an only child either. but i dont want to wait to get prego eitehr b/c my "problems" are only getting worse. i had my period last week and OMG... i was in so much pain just from the cramps that seriously i couldn't move. i didn't miss those... and with emma not sleeping good and teething, i think i dont want anotehr one but i do. i would love to be preg again (shhh dont tell scott) . i loved being pregnant, i felt good, i was eating soo much better, walking all the time and i was overall very healthy and just felt so good. this time last yr i was finding out i was pregnant. i want them close together... like less than 20 mths. i know that's CLOSE but if he's going to be gone and then be getting out in 2 yrs i might as well do it now. i know we need to talk about this more and decide something b/c as soon as i quit breastfeeding in september im going back on the pill or something... i really can't handle the cramps and stuff... too much pain and hello i did go through natural childbirth and would rather do that again then have cramps.
*sigh* i want to go home, i tried staying the day we left but they wouldn't let me. things would have been easier had i stayed. less fighting, more talking, me getting a break from stuff. we dont fight fight but we have our diffrences and dont agree on certain things.
anyways my little monkey is awake again so time to eat... for her anyways...