(no subject)
I'm currently writing a paper on scapegoating... and the pillars of society being crooked. It makes me smile. But only away from your eyes. I've learned to not put so much trust into others, or myself, because I feel I am always somewhat disappointed. For example: Whenever the weather is warm I walk out of school to the 'smokers corner' with a skip of my heart, and open the door. Only to feel a pinch, the slightest little bit, of disappointment when I don't see the familiar figure standing against all the other unrecognizable students with blank faces. But, Sigh. what should I do?
We were laying on the couch the other day. Watching a movie. What movie it was doesn't matter, however, I can't seem to remember it. and that bothers me somewhat. Anywho. We were laying there. and he strokes my hair back and tells me he loves me. I smile and kiss him like I usually do. He keeps going...
"I'm happy with us. I think we're good for eachother."
Again I smile and kiss him. Yes, I agree. We are deffinitly good for eachother. Yes, I love him. Yes, I am happy with us. But theres that voice in the back of my mind.... That stupid voice....
We are good for eachother. I am happy. He is wonderful. We are good. But....
do we belong together???
I guess I shouldn't question it. Questioning it will just fill my head with doubt and I'll end a perfectly good relationship because I'm confused on if we belong together.
For the last 2 years I've believed in something completely different. I'm afraid.
I dont want to give up on US.... but i will never give up on HIM.