(no subject)
Prequel to the Norman the Cow story by Trey Nedulon Harral, by Rob Schonhoff
Norman the cow had it all: a lovely cow wife, a lovely beaver daughter, and bundle of cash he kept in an over-sized swimming pool.
One day Norman decided to take his family to the mall.
Norman bough his daughter the loveliest trinket the Pope would ever care to acknowledge. Norman then bought his wife the biggest diamond tiara Martha Stewart had ever cursed at. And for himself, Norman bought the tallest statue of an Indian he would ever care to show to Gary Busey.
When Norman and his family returned home, they found that their house was on three kinds of fire and their pool-full of money had been looted and filled in with dead children. Norman's beaver daughter went insane at the very sight and ran straight off a cliff. Norman's wife tried to dry her tears with her diamond tiara but only succeeded in cutting up her face on its sharp edges, thus mutilating her beyond recognition.
Norman lived on in shame and blunt confusion. Everyone accused him of stealing the family's wealth for himself and murdering eighty dozen children to fill the empty pool. Also, they accused him of killing his daughter and beating his wife. Norman was innocent, but he was forced to sell his Indian statue to Gary Busey and wander the world a sad and lonely cow...
Norman the cow had it all: a lovely cow wife, a lovely beaver daughter, and bundle of cash he kept in an over-sized swimming pool.
One day Norman decided to take his family to the mall.
Norman bough his daughter the loveliest trinket the Pope would ever care to acknowledge. Norman then bought his wife the biggest diamond tiara Martha Stewart had ever cursed at. And for himself, Norman bought the tallest statue of an Indian he would ever care to show to Gary Busey.
When Norman and his family returned home, they found that their house was on three kinds of fire and their pool-full of money had been looted and filled in with dead children. Norman's beaver daughter went insane at the very sight and ran straight off a cliff. Norman's wife tried to dry her tears with her diamond tiara but only succeeded in cutting up her face on its sharp edges, thus mutilating her beyond recognition.
Norman lived on in shame and blunt confusion. Everyone accused him of stealing the family's wealth for himself and murdering eighty dozen children to fill the empty pool. Also, they accused him of killing his daughter and beating his wife. Norman was innocent, but he was forced to sell his Indian statue to Gary Busey and wander the world a sad and lonely cow...