Oh woe me... pathetic
As a another year approaches I have started to wonder "What have I done this year noteworthy?" I moved to Sydney, I passed a 'milestone' birthday, I got a new job (twice) and I have seen some amazing bands.... This all seems like pretty good stuff from a person looking on the outside but it feels like a total failure to me... only recently have I realised why this is. I am lonely. Its back to the Oh Woe Me senario that tends to come out when everyone else is spending time with friends and family and I have the net and the cricket on TV to keep me company/amused.
Moving to Sydney is that toughest thing I think I have had to do... well second toughest but we won't go into the first just now. I miss my family, I miss knowing where I am going and even though I didn't have any friends when I went I miss Perth hardcore shows. I lie, I did have friends but circumstances change and they became aquaintances. If there is one thing I would change over the last 5 years it would be holding closer to the people I cared about. I wouldnt let stupid boys, stupid rumours and highschool drama get in the way of being nice to people and trying to keep up those friendships. I am highly shamed of how i have conducted myself over the last few years. I can apologise to enough people and I dont think any of them would care or accept the apology.
Coming to Sydney has been an eye opener. It has made me realise how wonderful Perth is, how nice most people are and how welcoming everyone was to me when I first started going to shows a long time ago. Moving to a new city and a going to shows is like attending a new school... People look at you funny because no one knows who the hell you are. I have lost my ability to meet people, I have become so self consious and so hidden within myself that I just can seem to open up and to walk up to anyone and say "Hi, I'm new here." I think its a fear of rejection... well thats a human thing isn't it.
I will probably post this and then delete it in the next hour when I realise how pathetic I am being and I should just shut up and get on with it... I dont know what I am hoping to acheive by pouring my heart out onto a bullitin board, just maybe for people to realise not to be shit and always be yourself or you will feel like an idiot like me for a long time.
haha
Enough of me... make comments if you want, chat about it with your friends... just know if your one of the people I lost contact with.. I am sorry....
I am going to go play guitar hero now where I rock...
Moving to Sydney is that toughest thing I think I have had to do... well second toughest but we won't go into the first just now. I miss my family, I miss knowing where I am going and even though I didn't have any friends when I went I miss Perth hardcore shows. I lie, I did have friends but circumstances change and they became aquaintances. If there is one thing I would change over the last 5 years it would be holding closer to the people I cared about. I wouldnt let stupid boys, stupid rumours and highschool drama get in the way of being nice to people and trying to keep up those friendships. I am highly shamed of how i have conducted myself over the last few years. I can apologise to enough people and I dont think any of them would care or accept the apology.
Coming to Sydney has been an eye opener. It has made me realise how wonderful Perth is, how nice most people are and how welcoming everyone was to me when I first started going to shows a long time ago. Moving to a new city and a going to shows is like attending a new school... People look at you funny because no one knows who the hell you are. I have lost my ability to meet people, I have become so self consious and so hidden within myself that I just can seem to open up and to walk up to anyone and say "Hi, I'm new here." I think its a fear of rejection... well thats a human thing isn't it.
I will probably post this and then delete it in the next hour when I realise how pathetic I am being and I should just shut up and get on with it... I dont know what I am hoping to acheive by pouring my heart out onto a bullitin board, just maybe for people to realise not to be shit and always be yourself or you will feel like an idiot like me for a long time.
haha
Enough of me... make comments if you want, chat about it with your friends... just know if your one of the people I lost contact with.. I am sorry....
I am going to go play guitar hero now where I rock...