(no subject)
i wish i was a feminist
i believe in equality and of course i demand it
i wish feminism did not denote lesbianism and we could just be strong and proud about our gender without it having to be stereotyped as certain behavior and i want to talk about women some more because i am tired of talking about men and their issues and blowing it off with "boys will be boys" as if that somehow excuses the behavior....and i want to live my life for me and not be afraid of walking to my car at night or going somewhere by myself or feeling like i may have to appear weaker then i am so i dont intimidate a potential man (not that i would ever do it) and yet every girl has a fantasy every now and again about some hero who will strut in and save her day....
and how many more times do i have to hear people (especially my mother) tell me to marry a rich man as if i need a provider and dont want to be independent and he will solve all my problems...no way, you gotta be interdependent....i dont know i think i dont want to get married (whether or not he is rich cause that is not the important thing) from what i see you can mess up a perfectly happy relationship by sticking a socially pressurized title on it like that of husband and wife.....
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so heres the thing, if i could invent something or say have some sort of technical device in my body i would build a camera into my eye however this got me wondering if that is not perhaps the right way to live life....its like that analogy about the book....are you the type of person that when you read a book it reminds you of something you once did or do you do something and think hey, this is just like what happened in that book i read
do i want to live my life behind a lens?.....yes, god damn it i do, cause life is just hundreds of snap shots all compiled together and it is moments and scenes and images and words and sounds and with a blink of an eye you catch it all
*************************************************************************************
i had lunch with my aunt who i never see and my dad as well over the weekend and i was telling her about london in the fall and i must have been pretty excited or animated when talking about it (only natural) cause she turned to my dad and said in a bewildered tone:
"how can she? how can she possibly know at her age what will make her happy?"
i suppose the shocking thing was that i have never had anyone address me like that...however it does make you wonder about the person who said it and what exactly they meant by it as it is quite silly to think that i could possibly know what will make me happy as it changes
**************************************************************************************
anyway, i went to all my classes today since it was getting to the point where you just feel dirty or ashamed at yourself for missing so many days and since you are paying for this education you might as well get the most out of it....plus no one was around so i had nothing better to do....however here are some of the highlights:
first off the series went very well and i had a gentleman by the name of george come in on a whim and play classical guitar which was very beautiful and then tempted him to sing which was also beautiful but he seems like a rather good boy so of course i could never like him
art history- i came on a day when she handed out the study guide for our next test which is very lucky however i realized that the majority of the items on the guide i did not know (oops)
astronomy- well ryan and sarah did not show up (bad kids) but luckily i had pawntra to walk with me up 4 floors and so i only had 2 more by myself and then became exhausted at this crazy, spastic asian woman that is my teacher and i learned some nonsence and got my test back on which i did not do too bad
well then i had my rather long break and so i went to wings (ah, the old work) and broke hearts as i will not be returning despite the little rumor michelle started......
and finally history of black women in america where i got my test back on which i did well and i would say that the crown moment was when this 60 year old black woman in my class said (with as much attitude as possible):
"its like them perfume counters they got shoved out there and you know i aint putting on no purfume for no ladies....uh uh...cause i love me some dick...mmmhmm"
it was a fabulous moment
i believe in equality and of course i demand it
i wish feminism did not denote lesbianism and we could just be strong and proud about our gender without it having to be stereotyped as certain behavior and i want to talk about women some more because i am tired of talking about men and their issues and blowing it off with "boys will be boys" as if that somehow excuses the behavior....and i want to live my life for me and not be afraid of walking to my car at night or going somewhere by myself or feeling like i may have to appear weaker then i am so i dont intimidate a potential man (not that i would ever do it) and yet every girl has a fantasy every now and again about some hero who will strut in and save her day....
and how many more times do i have to hear people (especially my mother) tell me to marry a rich man as if i need a provider and dont want to be independent and he will solve all my problems...no way, you gotta be interdependent....i dont know i think i dont want to get married (whether or not he is rich cause that is not the important thing) from what i see you can mess up a perfectly happy relationship by sticking a socially pressurized title on it like that of husband and wife.....
*************************************************************************************
so heres the thing, if i could invent something or say have some sort of technical device in my body i would build a camera into my eye however this got me wondering if that is not perhaps the right way to live life....its like that analogy about the book....are you the type of person that when you read a book it reminds you of something you once did or do you do something and think hey, this is just like what happened in that book i read
do i want to live my life behind a lens?.....yes, god damn it i do, cause life is just hundreds of snap shots all compiled together and it is moments and scenes and images and words and sounds and with a blink of an eye you catch it all
*************************************************************************************
i had lunch with my aunt who i never see and my dad as well over the weekend and i was telling her about london in the fall and i must have been pretty excited or animated when talking about it (only natural) cause she turned to my dad and said in a bewildered tone:
"how can she? how can she possibly know at her age what will make her happy?"
i suppose the shocking thing was that i have never had anyone address me like that...however it does make you wonder about the person who said it and what exactly they meant by it as it is quite silly to think that i could possibly know what will make me happy as it changes
**************************************************************************************
anyway, i went to all my classes today since it was getting to the point where you just feel dirty or ashamed at yourself for missing so many days and since you are paying for this education you might as well get the most out of it....plus no one was around so i had nothing better to do....however here are some of the highlights:
first off the series went very well and i had a gentleman by the name of george come in on a whim and play classical guitar which was very beautiful and then tempted him to sing which was also beautiful but he seems like a rather good boy so of course i could never like him
art history- i came on a day when she handed out the study guide for our next test which is very lucky however i realized that the majority of the items on the guide i did not know (oops)
astronomy- well ryan and sarah did not show up (bad kids) but luckily i had pawntra to walk with me up 4 floors and so i only had 2 more by myself and then became exhausted at this crazy, spastic asian woman that is my teacher and i learned some nonsence and got my test back on which i did not do too bad
well then i had my rather long break and so i went to wings (ah, the old work) and broke hearts as i will not be returning despite the little rumor michelle started......
and finally history of black women in america where i got my test back on which i did well and i would say that the crown moment was when this 60 year old black woman in my class said (with as much attitude as possible):
"its like them perfume counters they got shoved out there and you know i aint putting on no purfume for no ladies....uh uh...cause i love me some dick...mmmhmm"
it was a fabulous moment