(no subject)
Ok......I dont what to do anymore.....she broke her promise, could be pregnant again, oh yeah, and she still tells me she loves me. I cant take this anymore. I am not treated as a friend at all. I dont care what I am to her at all, but if I am a friend, should the way I feel not matter? Apprently not, well there is nothing I can say, but an I Told You So. I cant do it. I cant tell if she even gives a damn anymore. I dont care that I am not her boyfriend, she should respect my feelings, but she doesnt. She doesnt want me to replace her, but she can replace me. Thats isnt far, she wants to be the only that I love, but doesnt want to love me. She wants to be the only one that I touch, but everyone can touch her. She made promises that she never kept, I still keep the ones I made to her.
She isnt the same girl that I know. Ever since she came back from snowden and was told that hypo-sexualality was a part of being bi polar, she has changed. She took it as an open inventation to have all the sex she wants. She always asked me if I thought she was slutty, I never did till now. It pains me to say that but it is true. It is like she is using that as an excuse to just jump on a cock. it is so wrong, and not she might be pregnant.....and fucking had anal with stephanies boyfriend....god it is so fucking wrong. She cant fucking fuck anyone or have anything done but she can now do anal and she loves it. I am so tired of this. I am tired of it all. Why sould someone go on and do this stuff if they know it hurts me.
I have been cutting lately because of this. This and everything else. The days are becoming one, night and day are the same to me. I am doing nothing but work, it is all the same all the time. I dont get to talk to her like I used to, I dont get to be around her, I am constantly depressed because the only thoughts in my head are those of her and who she is going to fuck next....why she says she loves me but doesnt even act it. Why am I the one sitting on the sidelines.....I have had enough.....she is going to have to choose.
She isnt the same girl that I know. Ever since she came back from snowden and was told that hypo-sexualality was a part of being bi polar, she has changed. She took it as an open inventation to have all the sex she wants. She always asked me if I thought she was slutty, I never did till now. It pains me to say that but it is true. It is like she is using that as an excuse to just jump on a cock. it is so wrong, and not she might be pregnant.....and fucking had anal with stephanies boyfriend....god it is so fucking wrong. She cant fucking fuck anyone or have anything done but she can now do anal and she loves it. I am so tired of this. I am tired of it all. Why sould someone go on and do this stuff if they know it hurts me.
I have been cutting lately because of this. This and everything else. The days are becoming one, night and day are the same to me. I am doing nothing but work, it is all the same all the time. I dont get to talk to her like I used to, I dont get to be around her, I am constantly depressed because the only thoughts in my head are those of her and who she is going to fuck next....why she says she loves me but doesnt even act it. Why am I the one sitting on the sidelines.....I have had enough.....she is going to have to choose.