Paid Programing
Announcer (Sounds insanely happy for being a voice for a low budget commercial at 3 in the morning): Are you sick of having to pee when you wake up? Well just kiss your piss away with the bladder gone!
Shows a man wakeing up and realy has to pee but still wants to sleep: Man! I realy want to get some more sleep but I really have to pee. I wish there was something I could do to not have to pee anymore... guess I'll just piss my pants and blame it on my wife... then knee her in the back and say she was having a bad dream, hence the pee on the bed.
Announcer: Well not anymore. All you have to do is go through a painless fifteen hour surgery with and you will never have to pee again.
Second Announcer: Could very well be a painful surgery.
Announcer: No more getting to drunk, or having pee why your running. What if your in the middle of a sexy situation... Dont worry about it because the Bladder gone will totally destroy your pee!
Shows a man stumbleing into a bathroom in a bar: Man I have to pee but I am too drunk to stand up... guess ill just piss my pants and blame my wife again... after I beat her ofcouse.
Announcer: Not with Bladder Gone! Heck you might never have to smack your wife in the face ever again out of shame from peeing in your pants. Just after the Twenty hour process you will never feel like peeing again, and your be right on your way to long sleepless nights without peeing anywhere... and definatly near your wife (wink).
Second Announcer: You might want to pee all the time after the process, but we could no longer help you with that problem any longer. Actually after the process you can basically kiss every sleepless night you "had" wihtout peeing goodbye. And who is to say that you won't just run up to your wife, pee on her, then beat her because your insane? We sure can't... legally.
Shows a man sitting at home in a beautiful living room with a woman in three casts starring freightened at the man. Announcer: I bet your thinking well why don't I have bladder gone right now? Am I not special enough to know about this. Yes your not special enough ... until now. It is just a simple three day process and your sleeplife will be the best its been since before you got married.
Second Announcer: Okay, you are very special, and you might just love your wife. Well not if your beating them. Just a heads up if you are indeed peeing on your wife don't call us, because we don't care about you. The police might, but not us.
Third Announcer: Even if you pee on your wife call us. We don't care.
Shows the same man with pee all over his wife: So how does it work?
Announcer: Well im glad you asked. Just a week and a half surgery and you will never have to pee again. It is a safe and fast month long operation with top quality doctors from china.. so no worries, and soon no worries about peeing. Thats good for your wife too hot shot.
Second Announcer: Safe is far from the word I would use. Fatal, or close too it would be the legal terms. The operation actually takes five long years in a south american concentration camp where you are forced to harvest cocaine until your bladder falls out of your feet. Yeah, it does sound painful because it will most definatly kill you and your grandparents. Why does it kill your grandparents, because bladder gone is actually a siberian tiger that we ship to your hometown and released freely at the local high school. So what if your grandparents don't live in your hometown... it has their scent and will find them. Trust me I know! Bladder Gone is also not good for your wife. She will become addicted to heroin and die a very unhappy prostitute.
Third Announcer: Non of what he just said will happen as a matter of fact if you order now we will give you a baby unicorn to raise on your own. How about that your very own unicorn to travel through the universe.
Fourth announcer, realy just the second announcer: We also wont give you a free unicorn.
Announcer: And if your order now, on top of that free unicorn, we will give you five hundred dollars cash for only 476 dollars cash. You don't believe us, well you definatly should!
Second Announcer: You definatly shouldn't believe any of this ... even I am a liar... but i am also addicted to cutting my penis with a sword... or am I?
Third Announcer: That was most definatly the third announcer trying to make me look like I am insane... but it's true ... about the money that is... your wont get it.
Announcer Bladder be gone, be gone or be woken up!
Second announcer: Please be gone... don't call us... it will kill you. Are you even listening... your going to die!
Shows a man wakeing up and realy has to pee but still wants to sleep: Man! I realy want to get some more sleep but I really have to pee. I wish there was something I could do to not have to pee anymore... guess I'll just piss my pants and blame it on my wife... then knee her in the back and say she was having a bad dream, hence the pee on the bed.
Announcer: Well not anymore. All you have to do is go through a painless fifteen hour surgery with and you will never have to pee again.
Second Announcer: Could very well be a painful surgery.
Announcer: No more getting to drunk, or having pee why your running. What if your in the middle of a sexy situation... Dont worry about it because the Bladder gone will totally destroy your pee!
Shows a man stumbleing into a bathroom in a bar: Man I have to pee but I am too drunk to stand up... guess ill just piss my pants and blame my wife again... after I beat her ofcouse.
Announcer: Not with Bladder Gone! Heck you might never have to smack your wife in the face ever again out of shame from peeing in your pants. Just after the Twenty hour process you will never feel like peeing again, and your be right on your way to long sleepless nights without peeing anywhere... and definatly near your wife (wink).
Second Announcer: You might want to pee all the time after the process, but we could no longer help you with that problem any longer. Actually after the process you can basically kiss every sleepless night you "had" wihtout peeing goodbye. And who is to say that you won't just run up to your wife, pee on her, then beat her because your insane? We sure can't... legally.
Shows a man sitting at home in a beautiful living room with a woman in three casts starring freightened at the man. Announcer: I bet your thinking well why don't I have bladder gone right now? Am I not special enough to know about this. Yes your not special enough ... until now. It is just a simple three day process and your sleeplife will be the best its been since before you got married.
Second Announcer: Okay, you are very special, and you might just love your wife. Well not if your beating them. Just a heads up if you are indeed peeing on your wife don't call us, because we don't care about you. The police might, but not us.
Third Announcer: Even if you pee on your wife call us. We don't care.
Shows the same man with pee all over his wife: So how does it work?
Announcer: Well im glad you asked. Just a week and a half surgery and you will never have to pee again. It is a safe and fast month long operation with top quality doctors from china.. so no worries, and soon no worries about peeing. Thats good for your wife too hot shot.
Second Announcer: Safe is far from the word I would use. Fatal, or close too it would be the legal terms. The operation actually takes five long years in a south american concentration camp where you are forced to harvest cocaine until your bladder falls out of your feet. Yeah, it does sound painful because it will most definatly kill you and your grandparents. Why does it kill your grandparents, because bladder gone is actually a siberian tiger that we ship to your hometown and released freely at the local high school. So what if your grandparents don't live in your hometown... it has their scent and will find them. Trust me I know! Bladder Gone is also not good for your wife. She will become addicted to heroin and die a very unhappy prostitute.
Third Announcer: Non of what he just said will happen as a matter of fact if you order now we will give you a baby unicorn to raise on your own. How about that your very own unicorn to travel through the universe.
Fourth announcer, realy just the second announcer: We also wont give you a free unicorn.
Announcer: And if your order now, on top of that free unicorn, we will give you five hundred dollars cash for only 476 dollars cash. You don't believe us, well you definatly should!
Second Announcer: You definatly shouldn't believe any of this ... even I am a liar... but i am also addicted to cutting my penis with a sword... or am I?
Third Announcer: That was most definatly the third announcer trying to make me look like I am insane... but it's true ... about the money that is... your wont get it.
Announcer Bladder be gone, be gone or be woken up!
Second announcer: Please be gone... don't call us... it will kill you. Are you even listening... your going to die!