There's a first time for everything...including making an ass out of yourself.
Ugh. Permanent sad face.
I'll spare those on here who don't want to hear about me being an idiot with a cut.
I got drunk last night.
On accident.
I was at a going away party for Yuri and Shota, two Japanese kids who studied here last year and came back to visit, and I'm REALLY SAD because I wanted to be like, COHERENT FOR THIS? I mean I wasn't terribly close to them but I really like Shota, and I remember almost everything from last night, and he couldn't even say goodbye to me because my head was pressed against the cold brick wall so I wouldn't spill my guts.
I did later, though. But not there.
But okay so what happened was Josh gave me a really nice cider thing, it tasted all apple-y and had only 5% alcohol and it wasn't a big bottle, so I was relatively fine after that. Shota comes around with vodka, so I take probably a half to two-thirds of a shot, because God knows I can't take a whole one. By then I'm happily buzzed. Little to my knowledge, this is before the shot actually takes a serious effect.
So Josh and I go over to Jen so she can see me tipsy. I never ever drink really, so me being tipsy and voluntarily asking for the shot (no one was offering them to me, because they were pretty sure I wasn't going to take one, that's kind of how it goes with me), is kind of a big thing. I was like the attraction of the hour I was there and standing.
Sooooo when I'm on my way to being drunk I normally start apologizing a lot, insisting I'm just tipsy (WHICH I REALLY AM YOU GUYS, OKAY? SERIOUSLY.) and asking people if I seem okay and to stop me saying anything stupid. Which, by apologizing a lot, talking about my current drunk status, and asking them these things, I already am saying something stupid. So Shota is still making the rounds with the giant bottle of Smirnoff, and he offers some to Jen and John, I think Jen takes one, and then I decide to take another. This is probably 15 minutes after the first, so it reaaaaaaaaaally hasn't had time to punch me in the face yet. But oh believe me, it will.
So everyones like 8O cuz I take another half-ish one, and then Jen gives me her cider, which is almost full, so I have something else to drink. Josh was torn between keeping my spotted innocence and egging me the fuck on. He never really got to choose, I kind of took care of it myself. So then I don't even remember where the other shot was, I think it was over by Domi (my roommate) again, but so it was another little-more-than-half shot, and by this time its been maybe 5 minutes since the other, and all the shots together probably total up to 2 or 2 and a half. In about 20-30 minutes. Plus two bottles of cider.
And I don't have alcohol experience.
You can see where this is going.
Okay I can't...exactly tell how I got to sitting, I just know that I wandered around a lot and mingled and then walked back to my chair, idky. So then I put my head down and everything goes STRAIGHT TO HELL. Everything is nice and black and the next thing I know, people are loudly asking if I'm okay, shaking me, and I hear snippets of people talking about getting my purse, getting my car, trying to get me water...I take three small sips of water and I don't want my head up anymore cuz it feels awful, and people are like, in my face and I'm getting REALLY ANNOYED. It was all out of concern of course, I know, but Jesus Christ, all I was trying to do was focus on not throwing up. No one really seemed to appreciate this fact. And I couldn't open my mouth to tell them the sentence that "Normally, when people move me and I'm nauseated, I pretty much always THROW UP and I will throw up on you". I could only really say yes or no by now. Short, to the point, whatever.
So then my roommates go to get the car and I wasn't supposed to let anyone drive my car ever but me, says my dad. So I'm worried about that, but more importantly, I really really really don't like throwing up. I haven't done it in a long time. I try not to on a general basis. Moving on.
So here's where I fall in love with David Peters, the womanizing guy who is really into Latin chicks and who is really actually very cute if you turn your head to the side a little bit and ignore whatever comes out of his mouth. He's telling me the car will be here soon (and I don't want to go home, I just want to sit here and put my head on the table, but I don't have much of a choice in the matter) and he's like, can you walk? And I go "can you carry me?"
And he does. He picks me straight up in his arms and holds me close so I don't move around a lot and it was probably the biggest feeling of relief right then and there because I had my eyes closed and it was dark and I didn't feel like I was moving at all. Yaaaay. Anyways, we get outside, and the car is NOT ALMOST HERE. Which I KNEW, because I knew how far it was back to the car, I knew how much of a bitch it would be to drive out of frat fucking row (we stopped in to a frat party for two seconds and promptly left. never. again.). So anyways, I KNOW the car is not there, and I KNOW there is no nice chair and table for me to be drunk against, and I get put on the ground. Very wobbileh. So I was even more vomiteh. Great.
BUT OH WAIT! Heaven in the form of a ice cold brick pillar and I immediately smush my face against it, revel in the cold, and try not to puke. again. Then I start shivering, bad. It's mostly from the alcohol, but also cuz it's cold outside. So then there are a bunch of people that come out with us (great, just what I need) and someone (i think it was Shota) has the good grace to mention that I look like I have epilepsy and I'm probably cold, seeing as I'm in a tiny corset that has really no cover whatsoever. David puts his very comfy jacket on me and everything is right in the world.
Until Charlotte comes and starts shaking me and asking me things and I was really annoyed. Like "bitch I will turn around and purposefully puke ON you" annoyed. Anyways, someone shoos her away but they clearly felt like she was helping, although she was not. Shota tries to say bye to me at one point in all of this and I know this is happening, but all I can really do is whimper a pitiful little cry of sadness at the botched parting which I'm not even sure actually came out of my mouth. David is pretty much my watcher at this point, here through it all.
Car pulls up, time for the risky Put Jessica In It Operation. David does it alright, little bumps here and there. I get in, slump over, David decides to come too, they slump me over to the other side, driving is pretty much alright since I lost all sense of equilibrium by now and my eyes are closed, except for when I move a lot. Then it kicks up really hard. But anyways, here's the thing about us driving home: Domi, my German roommate, has no American license. On top of that, her German license is at the dorm. Meanwhile, as the girl with no license is driving, her 19-year-old roommate is slumped in the front seat drunk.
You can see how this is a risky thing.
Anyways, we get to the door, and David gets me out of the car, etc. He carries me up to the door, and everything is going to be okay--
"Can she walk?"
OH.
FUCK.
ME.
IT'S A COP.
This lady cop (I think there was two there, a guy and a woman) stops us and asks if I can walk. Which I reeeeeaaaaaally don't want to. But I also reeeeeeaaaaaaaaallly don't want to be stopped by the cops. So I have a choice here. David and Maria in the meantime are like "we're just getting her upstairs to go to bed" and the cop doesn't seem to want to assault a poor little drunk girl just as much as I don't want to be throwing up in the back of her car or onto the floor of a jail cell. David tentatively puts me down and I DRUNK-WALK MY ASS AWAY FROM THAT COP.
Like swaying, zigzag, legs crossing, head down, wobbly walking. Drunk-walking.
I bolt my ass inside without looking at her and I figure she doesn't really want to go chasing after me and figures that if I have really poor basic motor skills that's good enough and I'm not going to die in my sleep. Why she stopped us, idk. Anyways. So we get in the elevator and I slump against David again. He is very comfortable in this whole ordeal. We get up to my room, I don't even remember getting in, all I remember is next thing I'm half-sitting half-laying on the bed and kind of on David's jacket.
BURP.
Uh oh.
BURP.
BURP--!!
"Get a bag."
David eases me off of his jacket and I pitch over the side and spill my guts into that bag.
I'll spare you all the gory details. I didn't eat much before, which is WHY I got so drunk in the first place...All day I had 8-piece chik-fil-a, a can of tuna, and like, 8 fries. So all that really came up was alcohol and some left-over fries. But I took it like a champ, and now I know why people get closer when they hold your hair, because that's the best thing a friend can do. Anyways, sometime into that, Domi comes up from parking the car and David and Maria leave and I get undressed and get in bed. Sweet, sweet relief. I really did feel better after throwing up, and a LOT more sober. I'm glad no more alcohol got the chance to soak into my system.
Anyways I had recently read a lot of articles about 19-year olds who are inexperienced with drinking dying in their sleep from accidentally having too much for their system and stuff, plus my Auntie Donna died when I was like, 10 because she threw up when she was passed out and choked, so I was kind of scared to go to sleep. I asked Domi to check on me if she wasn't going to bed right now, and I remember praying about it lol. It went something like "God, please don't let me throw up when I'm asleep. I really don't want to die from this, like this. K. Night." AND THEN I FELL ASLEEP!
Yay.
SOOOO that ordeal was over, and I'm totally going out again tonight. No drinking, of course. I'm far too terrified to get busted for underage drinking.
Also, I woke up and my knuckle is skinned from...whatever, I don't even know. I wake up with random injuries and a clear head. I'm just glad I remember everything. AAAAAAAAANYways, that is the excursion of my first drunken adventure. Glad you could be here to read about it, I suppose. And today Bama just kicked LSU's ass and now we're going to championships, yay, Roll Tide!!
I have corset pictures for those who want them!
front
back
details
side
Now I'm really excited for our Western Party Extravaganza♥! Domi and I decided to get about 5 girls on a list, and then charge $1-$2 for a ticket to put in a raffle for the guys, and then call a few and they get to pick what girl they want to do a body shot off of hahahahah. You guys, look at what I'm turning into.
Oh God, my life.
K gtg, it's party time.
I'll spare those on here who don't want to hear about me being an idiot with a cut.
I got drunk last night.
On accident.
I was at a going away party for Yuri and Shota, two Japanese kids who studied here last year and came back to visit, and I'm REALLY SAD because I wanted to be like, COHERENT FOR THIS? I mean I wasn't terribly close to them but I really like Shota, and I remember almost everything from last night, and he couldn't even say goodbye to me because my head was pressed against the cold brick wall so I wouldn't spill my guts.
I did later, though. But not there.
But okay so what happened was Josh gave me a really nice cider thing, it tasted all apple-y and had only 5% alcohol and it wasn't a big bottle, so I was relatively fine after that. Shota comes around with vodka, so I take probably a half to two-thirds of a shot, because God knows I can't take a whole one. By then I'm happily buzzed. Little to my knowledge, this is before the shot actually takes a serious effect.
So Josh and I go over to Jen so she can see me tipsy. I never ever drink really, so me being tipsy and voluntarily asking for the shot (no one was offering them to me, because they were pretty sure I wasn't going to take one, that's kind of how it goes with me), is kind of a big thing. I was like the attraction of the hour I was there and standing.
Sooooo when I'm on my way to being drunk I normally start apologizing a lot, insisting I'm just tipsy (WHICH I REALLY AM YOU GUYS, OKAY? SERIOUSLY.) and asking people if I seem okay and to stop me saying anything stupid. Which, by apologizing a lot, talking about my current drunk status, and asking them these things, I already am saying something stupid. So Shota is still making the rounds with the giant bottle of Smirnoff, and he offers some to Jen and John, I think Jen takes one, and then I decide to take another. This is probably 15 minutes after the first, so it reaaaaaaaaaally hasn't had time to punch me in the face yet. But oh believe me, it will.
So everyones like 8O cuz I take another half-ish one, and then Jen gives me her cider, which is almost full, so I have something else to drink. Josh was torn between keeping my spotted innocence and egging me the fuck on. He never really got to choose, I kind of took care of it myself. So then I don't even remember where the other shot was, I think it was over by Domi (my roommate) again, but so it was another little-more-than-half shot, and by this time its been maybe 5 minutes since the other, and all the shots together probably total up to 2 or 2 and a half. In about 20-30 minutes. Plus two bottles of cider.
And I don't have alcohol experience.
You can see where this is going.
Okay I can't...exactly tell how I got to sitting, I just know that I wandered around a lot and mingled and then walked back to my chair, idky. So then I put my head down and everything goes STRAIGHT TO HELL. Everything is nice and black and the next thing I know, people are loudly asking if I'm okay, shaking me, and I hear snippets of people talking about getting my purse, getting my car, trying to get me water...I take three small sips of water and I don't want my head up anymore cuz it feels awful, and people are like, in my face and I'm getting REALLY ANNOYED. It was all out of concern of course, I know, but Jesus Christ, all I was trying to do was focus on not throwing up. No one really seemed to appreciate this fact. And I couldn't open my mouth to tell them the sentence that "Normally, when people move me and I'm nauseated, I pretty much always THROW UP and I will throw up on you". I could only really say yes or no by now. Short, to the point, whatever.
So then my roommates go to get the car and I wasn't supposed to let anyone drive my car ever but me, says my dad. So I'm worried about that, but more importantly, I really really really don't like throwing up. I haven't done it in a long time. I try not to on a general basis. Moving on.
So here's where I fall in love with David Peters, the womanizing guy who is really into Latin chicks and who is really actually very cute if you turn your head to the side a little bit and ignore whatever comes out of his mouth. He's telling me the car will be here soon (and I don't want to go home, I just want to sit here and put my head on the table, but I don't have much of a choice in the matter) and he's like, can you walk? And I go "can you carry me?"
And he does. He picks me straight up in his arms and holds me close so I don't move around a lot and it was probably the biggest feeling of relief right then and there because I had my eyes closed and it was dark and I didn't feel like I was moving at all. Yaaaay. Anyways, we get outside, and the car is NOT ALMOST HERE. Which I KNEW, because I knew how far it was back to the car, I knew how much of a bitch it would be to drive out of frat fucking row (we stopped in to a frat party for two seconds and promptly left. never. again.). So anyways, I KNOW the car is not there, and I KNOW there is no nice chair and table for me to be drunk against, and I get put on the ground. Very wobbileh. So I was even more vomiteh. Great.
BUT OH WAIT! Heaven in the form of a ice cold brick pillar and I immediately smush my face against it, revel in the cold, and try not to puke. again. Then I start shivering, bad. It's mostly from the alcohol, but also cuz it's cold outside. So then there are a bunch of people that come out with us (great, just what I need) and someone (i think it was Shota) has the good grace to mention that I look like I have epilepsy and I'm probably cold, seeing as I'm in a tiny corset that has really no cover whatsoever. David puts his very comfy jacket on me and everything is right in the world.
Until Charlotte comes and starts shaking me and asking me things and I was really annoyed. Like "bitch I will turn around and purposefully puke ON you" annoyed. Anyways, someone shoos her away but they clearly felt like she was helping, although she was not. Shota tries to say bye to me at one point in all of this and I know this is happening, but all I can really do is whimper a pitiful little cry of sadness at the botched parting which I'm not even sure actually came out of my mouth. David is pretty much my watcher at this point, here through it all.
Car pulls up, time for the risky Put Jessica In It Operation. David does it alright, little bumps here and there. I get in, slump over, David decides to come too, they slump me over to the other side, driving is pretty much alright since I lost all sense of equilibrium by now and my eyes are closed, except for when I move a lot. Then it kicks up really hard. But anyways, here's the thing about us driving home: Domi, my German roommate, has no American license. On top of that, her German license is at the dorm. Meanwhile, as the girl with no license is driving, her 19-year-old roommate is slumped in the front seat drunk.
You can see how this is a risky thing.
Anyways, we get to the door, and David gets me out of the car, etc. He carries me up to the door, and everything is going to be okay--
"Can she walk?"
OH.
FUCK.
ME.
IT'S A COP.
This lady cop (I think there was two there, a guy and a woman) stops us and asks if I can walk. Which I reeeeeaaaaaally don't want to. But I also reeeeeeaaaaaaaaallly don't want to be stopped by the cops. So I have a choice here. David and Maria in the meantime are like "we're just getting her upstairs to go to bed" and the cop doesn't seem to want to assault a poor little drunk girl just as much as I don't want to be throwing up in the back of her car or onto the floor of a jail cell. David tentatively puts me down and I DRUNK-WALK MY ASS AWAY FROM THAT COP.
Like swaying, zigzag, legs crossing, head down, wobbly walking. Drunk-walking.
I bolt my ass inside without looking at her and I figure she doesn't really want to go chasing after me and figures that if I have really poor basic motor skills that's good enough and I'm not going to die in my sleep. Why she stopped us, idk. Anyways. So we get in the elevator and I slump against David again. He is very comfortable in this whole ordeal. We get up to my room, I don't even remember getting in, all I remember is next thing I'm half-sitting half-laying on the bed and kind of on David's jacket.
BURP.
Uh oh.
BURP.
BURP--!!
"Get a bag."
David eases me off of his jacket and I pitch over the side and spill my guts into that bag.
I'll spare you all the gory details. I didn't eat much before, which is WHY I got so drunk in the first place...All day I had 8-piece chik-fil-a, a can of tuna, and like, 8 fries. So all that really came up was alcohol and some left-over fries. But I took it like a champ, and now I know why people get closer when they hold your hair, because that's the best thing a friend can do. Anyways, sometime into that, Domi comes up from parking the car and David and Maria leave and I get undressed and get in bed. Sweet, sweet relief. I really did feel better after throwing up, and a LOT more sober. I'm glad no more alcohol got the chance to soak into my system.
Anyways I had recently read a lot of articles about 19-year olds who are inexperienced with drinking dying in their sleep from accidentally having too much for their system and stuff, plus my Auntie Donna died when I was like, 10 because she threw up when she was passed out and choked, so I was kind of scared to go to sleep. I asked Domi to check on me if she wasn't going to bed right now, and I remember praying about it lol. It went something like "God, please don't let me throw up when I'm asleep. I really don't want to die from this, like this. K. Night." AND THEN I FELL ASLEEP!
Yay.
SOOOO that ordeal was over, and I'm totally going out again tonight. No drinking, of course. I'm far too terrified to get busted for underage drinking.
Also, I woke up and my knuckle is skinned from...whatever, I don't even know. I wake up with random injuries and a clear head. I'm just glad I remember everything. AAAAAAAAANYways, that is the excursion of my first drunken adventure. Glad you could be here to read about it, I suppose. And today Bama just kicked LSU's ass and now we're going to championships, yay, Roll Tide!!
I have corset pictures for those who want them!
front
back
details
side
Now I'm really excited for our Western Party Extravaganza♥! Domi and I decided to get about 5 girls on a list, and then charge $1-$2 for a ticket to put in a raffle for the guys, and then call a few and they get to pick what girl they want to do a body shot off of hahahahah. You guys, look at what I'm turning into.
Oh God, my life.
K gtg, it's party time.