Super Junior; SiHanChul; Silence
Title: Silence
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: SiHanChul
Word Count: 832
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: Super Junior M is back. Heechul has been through a lot.
Genre: Angst
A/N: K so I couldn't sleep last night and I just kept thinking of this. I was also all weird in the emotional department last night (i swear its not PMS) so it turned out to be the first angst!fic i've posted. I went from crack to angst in a day XD. I'm sorry Chul! I'm sorry Hannie! I'm sorry Siwon! Plz forgive me for causing u pain ;_; I hope this is alright, it was written at 7 in the morning.
(*the lyrics in the beginning are from Epik High's song, Let It Rain, which is, indeed a very sad song but i thought it was rather fitting.*)
(**Idk if the translation is entirely correct, but I didn't do it so don't hurt me! XP**)
I’ve been able to through a night without your call
But then your name flashes on my phone
Your voice is heard as my hand shakes
Smiling, I say I’ve been at the house all day
And I’m running to you
I love you
…But I know.
***
The empty house is silent. The loud, blaring Chinese talk shows have been turned off long ago. Everything is quiet.
***
Heechul stares icily at the man standing in front of him, his head bowed, no form of protest or explanation on his lips. He raises a hand back as far as it will go.
Slap.
The other man’s head snaps to the side as Heechul’s palm connects sharply with his left cheek, the sound of the blow ringing in the dark, silent bedroom. He doesn’t say a word.
Slap.
The hand flies through the air again and the back of Heechul’s hand is brought swiftly across the right side of the other’s face. The knuckles make it hurt more than the first. Heechul didn’t bother to take off his ring.
Hankyung raises his head to look at Heechuls and his eyes lock briefly on the livid face before his face snaps to the side again with another blow.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
Hankyung doesn’t fight it.
SLAP.
Heechul’s face is twisted in fury, lips curling back. If Hankyung was looking, he could see the pain in his eyes. But he’s not. His eyes remain lowered. Heechul’s arm swings backwards again, higher, and he brings his hand, fingers splayed, swishing through the air to strike the younger man’s face again, to make him hurt, to make him feel as much pain on the outside as he’s carried with him on the inside.
Strong fingers close around his wrist and stop the hand inches away from the still silent but now slightly trembling boy in front of him. Heechul whips around and brings his other hand back wildly, fingers not open this time but curling together tightly. A fist connects with the side of the new man’s face, and Heechul doesn’t care if it leaves a mark.
Siwon staggers backwards slightly. Heechul is strong when he wants to be, and the emotions raging inside him only add to his power. Siwon’s legs collide with the side of the bed as he stumbles and he falls back on his elbows, looking up at Heechul, brows furrowed angrily. Heechul glares down at him from where he’s standing between the two men, fury etched in every line of his white face.
“Don’t you even fucking dare,” he hisses through his snarl. He pants, chest rising and falls heavily with his blazing anger and the weight of the past few months.
Behind him, Siwon can see a dark bruise blooming high on the face of the other man where Heechul’s knuckle had crashed with his cheekbone painfully. Patches of angry red marks flare on the soft skin of his face. The shapes of fingers are easily made out.
Hankyung and Siwon both look at the oldest in front of them. Hankyung watches him from behind him, eyes filled with sorrow and apologies Heechul won’t take the time to hear. Siwon looks up at his thin form, feeling the hate radiating off of it, and he knows there’s nothing he can say. He can only glare back because he’s hurting too.
Heechul’s livid face contorts for a second before smoothing into a mask of impassivity. He looks down at Siwon indifferently, and opens his mouth. Hankyung knows that when he speaks it’s at him, too, if not even more so than it is at the youngest.
“You left me.” he says, and the statement rings in the room, silent except for the heavy breathing. The disdain is clearly audible in his voice.
Heechul wants to spit at their feet, and for a minute he actually considers doing it, but he doesn’t because he knows the damage would be beyond repair. Instead, he shoves down everything inside him, the emotions fighting to break out, his overwhelming urge to scream, scream at them, but not even that, just to scream.
It takes everything inside him to turn stiffly and walk calmly out of the room. He doesn’t have enough restraint left in him though and the door slams shut hard, vibrations of the harsh sound filling the silent room. Hankyung’s eyes are still locked on the floor. Siwon’s flicks to his face, before they, too, lower. It takes a lot of effort to stop them filling with tears.
***
Heechul cries himself to sleep that night. The huge, gasping sobs wrack his body silently before he’s too exhausted to even bring his hand up to wipe the hot trails of tears away, and he sinks into his pillow.
Super Junior M has made him cry himself to sleep every night since they left, so why should tonight be any different?
As far as he’s concerned, no one’s even back at all.
***
Started: 9/9/08; 7:05 am
Finished: 9/9/08; 7:36 a.m.
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: SiHanChul
Word Count: 832
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: Super Junior M is back. Heechul has been through a lot.
Genre: Angst
A/N: K so I couldn't sleep last night and I just kept thinking of this. I was also all weird in the emotional department last night (i swear its not PMS) so it turned out to be the first angst!fic i've posted. I went from crack to angst in a day XD. I'm sorry Chul! I'm sorry Hannie! I'm sorry Siwon! Plz forgive me for causing u pain ;_; I hope this is alright, it was written at 7 in the morning.
(*the lyrics in the beginning are from Epik High's song, Let It Rain, which is, indeed a very sad song but i thought it was rather fitting.*)
(**Idk if the translation is entirely correct, but I didn't do it so don't hurt me! XP**)
I’ve been able to through a night without your call
But then your name flashes on my phone
Your voice is heard as my hand shakes
Smiling, I say I’ve been at the house all day
And I’m running to you
I love you
…But I know.
***
The empty house is silent. The loud, blaring Chinese talk shows have been turned off long ago. Everything is quiet.
***
Heechul stares icily at the man standing in front of him, his head bowed, no form of protest or explanation on his lips. He raises a hand back as far as it will go.
Slap.
The other man’s head snaps to the side as Heechul’s palm connects sharply with his left cheek, the sound of the blow ringing in the dark, silent bedroom. He doesn’t say a word.
Slap.
The hand flies through the air again and the back of Heechul’s hand is brought swiftly across the right side of the other’s face. The knuckles make it hurt more than the first. Heechul didn’t bother to take off his ring.
Hankyung raises his head to look at Heechuls and his eyes lock briefly on the livid face before his face snaps to the side again with another blow.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
Hankyung doesn’t fight it.
SLAP.
Heechul’s face is twisted in fury, lips curling back. If Hankyung was looking, he could see the pain in his eyes. But he’s not. His eyes remain lowered. Heechul’s arm swings backwards again, higher, and he brings his hand, fingers splayed, swishing through the air to strike the younger man’s face again, to make him hurt, to make him feel as much pain on the outside as he’s carried with him on the inside.
Strong fingers close around his wrist and stop the hand inches away from the still silent but now slightly trembling boy in front of him. Heechul whips around and brings his other hand back wildly, fingers not open this time but curling together tightly. A fist connects with the side of the new man’s face, and Heechul doesn’t care if it leaves a mark.
Siwon staggers backwards slightly. Heechul is strong when he wants to be, and the emotions raging inside him only add to his power. Siwon’s legs collide with the side of the bed as he stumbles and he falls back on his elbows, looking up at Heechul, brows furrowed angrily. Heechul glares down at him from where he’s standing between the two men, fury etched in every line of his white face.
“Don’t you even fucking dare,” he hisses through his snarl. He pants, chest rising and falls heavily with his blazing anger and the weight of the past few months.
Behind him, Siwon can see a dark bruise blooming high on the face of the other man where Heechul’s knuckle had crashed with his cheekbone painfully. Patches of angry red marks flare on the soft skin of his face. The shapes of fingers are easily made out.
Hankyung and Siwon both look at the oldest in front of them. Hankyung watches him from behind him, eyes filled with sorrow and apologies Heechul won’t take the time to hear. Siwon looks up at his thin form, feeling the hate radiating off of it, and he knows there’s nothing he can say. He can only glare back because he’s hurting too.
Heechul’s livid face contorts for a second before smoothing into a mask of impassivity. He looks down at Siwon indifferently, and opens his mouth. Hankyung knows that when he speaks it’s at him, too, if not even more so than it is at the youngest.
“You left me.” he says, and the statement rings in the room, silent except for the heavy breathing. The disdain is clearly audible in his voice.
Heechul wants to spit at their feet, and for a minute he actually considers doing it, but he doesn’t because he knows the damage would be beyond repair. Instead, he shoves down everything inside him, the emotions fighting to break out, his overwhelming urge to scream, scream at them, but not even that, just to scream.
It takes everything inside him to turn stiffly and walk calmly out of the room. He doesn’t have enough restraint left in him though and the door slams shut hard, vibrations of the harsh sound filling the silent room. Hankyung’s eyes are still locked on the floor. Siwon’s flicks to his face, before they, too, lower. It takes a lot of effort to stop them filling with tears.
***
Heechul cries himself to sleep that night. The huge, gasping sobs wrack his body silently before he’s too exhausted to even bring his hand up to wipe the hot trails of tears away, and he sinks into his pillow.
Super Junior M has made him cry himself to sleep every night since they left, so why should tonight be any different?
As far as he’s concerned, no one’s even back at all.
***
Started: 9/9/08; 7:05 am
Finished: 9/9/08; 7:36 a.m.