shut up, stupid.
There are so many more people out there smarter than me.
(i promise ill try to make this as less depressing as possible)
A girl in my class yesterday read a monologue, and I felt like it was written by me. It basically said that her mother told her she was beautiful and had a beautiful voice, because she loved her so much, not because it was true. So the girl walks around like shes beautiful and has a beautiful voice, and then she starts to wonder why no one is listening to her. Why nobody seems to see her. And she ends by saying "Jesus, if theyd give me a chance...if theyd listen to me...id be a star".
Im listening to epik high a lot recently, and I think of all the things theyre saying in the lyrics. Im listening to all these profound thoughts, these brilliant rhymes and flows and just the grace and beauty of the songs and of tablo and mithra's words (subconscious?) and its like...I could never do anything like that.
Im not smart enough.
Im not deep enough.
Im not creative enough.
It sucks feeling adaquate. I mean, all this time my mom has been telling me how smart I am, how beautiful I am, how nice I am, how I can turn out to be anything and everything and whatever I want and if I want to do it all, then go for it, because I can.
And so like that girl, the one from the monologue, I walk around thinking that I can amount to something.
And it just sucks because I have this horrible crawling, sick feeling in my stomach and at the corners of my eyes just telling me that hey, maybe that isnt true. maybe, even if you bust your ass, even if you have all the right bits, even if you have all the right contacts and confidence...youre not going to be anything.
Youre not going to make a difference
Youre not going to be anything special
Youre ordinary
Youll always be ordinary
Who are you to think you can be someone like them?
Someone who's worth something different, who's unique and profound and talented, creative, brilliant, and something more than just average.
And i try and try and try and try and try to tell it to shut up
So why wont it shut up?
(i promise ill try to make this as less depressing as possible)
A girl in my class yesterday read a monologue, and I felt like it was written by me. It basically said that her mother told her she was beautiful and had a beautiful voice, because she loved her so much, not because it was true. So the girl walks around like shes beautiful and has a beautiful voice, and then she starts to wonder why no one is listening to her. Why nobody seems to see her. And she ends by saying "Jesus, if theyd give me a chance...if theyd listen to me...id be a star".
Im listening to epik high a lot recently, and I think of all the things theyre saying in the lyrics. Im listening to all these profound thoughts, these brilliant rhymes and flows and just the grace and beauty of the songs and of tablo and mithra's words (subconscious?) and its like...I could never do anything like that.
Im not smart enough.
Im not deep enough.
Im not creative enough.
It sucks feeling adaquate. I mean, all this time my mom has been telling me how smart I am, how beautiful I am, how nice I am, how I can turn out to be anything and everything and whatever I want and if I want to do it all, then go for it, because I can.
And so like that girl, the one from the monologue, I walk around thinking that I can amount to something.
And it just sucks because I have this horrible crawling, sick feeling in my stomach and at the corners of my eyes just telling me that hey, maybe that isnt true. maybe, even if you bust your ass, even if you have all the right bits, even if you have all the right contacts and confidence...youre not going to be anything.
Youre not going to make a difference
Youre not going to be anything special
Youre ordinary
Youll always be ordinary
Who are you to think you can be someone like them?
Someone who's worth something different, who's unique and profound and talented, creative, brilliant, and something more than just average.
And i try and try and try and try and try to tell it to shut up
So why wont it shut up?