STOP. DOING. THAT.
Why my life. WHYYYYYY my life.
Why must ever guy friend i attempt to have go and RUIN IT by confessing.
like....dont get me wrong, im really super flattered. seriously. i talk a lot, i run around, im dorky, im geeky, im snarky, im gangly, and i have random, uncontrollable outbursts of kpop flail. basically, im a 4 year old.
so...really im flattered because anyone in their right minds would say "youre mentally retarded", hell, I say i'm mentally retarded (should be).
so i really dont get why they all seem to be like "hey, theres a perfectly normal girl over there, lets pick the annoying crazy one!"
not that i dont have confidence in myself, i really do, but like....why.....? (>_o)~???
and...you may think im overexaggerating by saying everyone, but really, im not.
because lets list em, shall we.
Alex -- i was told by Jared*(see below) two days ago that the guy who constantly called me names and pissed me off to no end actually liked me, instead. wtf.
Freedo/Travis -- i woke up this morning to a text that said "Hey ive been up 4 a while n been thinkin. N i decided 2 tell u i used 2 hav feelings 4 u". WHY. TELL ME. IF IT WAS A USED TO?! why ruin it?!!? ive actually been really mean to him for the past 2 months to try and get him to get the hint and discourage him from saying anything at all. it sounds harsh, and forgive me, but sometimes boys are really stupid.
Cole -- another text confession. wanted to know if "this" was going anywhere because he thought i was attractive. now, idk what to think of that one, because....i just...i just dont. and no, it wasnt going anywhere. i didnt even know there WAS a "this".
Matt -- teeny guy i barely barely talked to very awkwardly and uncomfortably because i dont...like...it was just...im not even friends with him. hes in the same club as me. asked me to dinner on facebook chat. ......really? im so glad i clarified if he meant as friends. he didnt.
the only guy friends i have besides that are Jared* and...well...jared. i mean, my bama ones. but like...really. come on. 4/5.
and the thing that drives me crazy, is that i dont even flirt with any of them. AT ALL. i just act like my usual, insane, fucktard self, so really, i dont know why they confess because it catches me off guard sometimes--wait, no it doesnt. no, because after awhile they all start getting weird and you know what i mean, not like...weird...but that weird...>.> whats going on with you, why are you acting retarded, weird. like where you know that theyre wanting to hang out with you a lot, and they offer you food (okay maybe thats just me because im always fuckin eating XDD), and they just start acting WEIRD.
well. everyone started acting weird. except for alex, hes always acting weird. like, hes always asking when we'll get married, and he always gets really mad when i flinch from him when he tries to brush my hair out of my face (jokingly) and hug me. like...i dont like physical contact, at least not with guys because...well. this shit happens.
now, dont get me wrong, im really really flattered. its a huge confidence and self esteem booster. but...i dont flirt (at least not intentionally, seriously, i really try not to lead them on in the least bit), and i talk about retarded stuff, and im annoying to practically everyone so...i just...i dont understand. i dont get it.
its flattering, and its nice, and its sweet, but it kills everything. i try not to let it, but cole confessed early last semester and we barely talk/hang out. we see each other in passing, really. it just...i finally think "hey, i have guy friends! finally!" because i never used to have guy friends, but then they go and pull stunts like this. it just...it frustrates me.
why. cant i have guy friends. and why...out of the ones that like me...cant they be people i like back. hey, maybe its a guy friends curse. if thats true, then my mission in life is now to become donghae's best friend and accidentally seduce him by being an idiot.
...
(- -)'' *SIIIIIIIIGH*. help me.
Why must ever guy friend i attempt to have go and RUIN IT by confessing.
like....dont get me wrong, im really super flattered. seriously. i talk a lot, i run around, im dorky, im geeky, im snarky, im gangly, and i have random, uncontrollable outbursts of kpop flail. basically, im a 4 year old.
so...really im flattered because anyone in their right minds would say "youre mentally retarded", hell, I say i'm mentally retarded (should be).
so i really dont get why they all seem to be like "hey, theres a perfectly normal girl over there, lets pick the annoying crazy one!"
not that i dont have confidence in myself, i really do, but like....why.....? (>_o)~???
and...you may think im overexaggerating by saying everyone, but really, im not.
because lets list em, shall we.
Alex -- i was told by Jared*(see below) two days ago that the guy who constantly called me names and pissed me off to no end actually liked me, instead. wtf.
Freedo/Travis -- i woke up this morning to a text that said "Hey ive been up 4 a while n been thinkin. N i decided 2 tell u i used 2 hav feelings 4 u". WHY. TELL ME. IF IT WAS A USED TO?! why ruin it?!!? ive actually been really mean to him for the past 2 months to try and get him to get the hint and discourage him from saying anything at all. it sounds harsh, and forgive me, but sometimes boys are really stupid.
Cole -- another text confession. wanted to know if "this" was going anywhere because he thought i was attractive. now, idk what to think of that one, because....i just...i just dont. and no, it wasnt going anywhere. i didnt even know there WAS a "this".
Matt -- teeny guy i barely barely talked to very awkwardly and uncomfortably because i dont...like...it was just...im not even friends with him. hes in the same club as me. asked me to dinner on facebook chat. ......really? im so glad i clarified if he meant as friends. he didnt.
the only guy friends i have besides that are Jared* and...well...jared. i mean, my bama ones. but like...really. come on. 4/5.
and the thing that drives me crazy, is that i dont even flirt with any of them. AT ALL. i just act like my usual, insane, fucktard self, so really, i dont know why they confess because it catches me off guard sometimes--wait, no it doesnt. no, because after awhile they all start getting weird and you know what i mean, not like...weird...but that weird...>.> whats going on with you, why are you acting retarded, weird. like where you know that theyre wanting to hang out with you a lot, and they offer you food (okay maybe thats just me because im always fuckin eating XDD), and they just start acting WEIRD.
well. everyone started acting weird. except for alex, hes always acting weird. like, hes always asking when we'll get married, and he always gets really mad when i flinch from him when he tries to brush my hair out of my face (jokingly) and hug me. like...i dont like physical contact, at least not with guys because...well. this shit happens.
now, dont get me wrong, im really really flattered. its a huge confidence and self esteem booster. but...i dont flirt (at least not intentionally, seriously, i really try not to lead them on in the least bit), and i talk about retarded stuff, and im annoying to practically everyone so...i just...i dont understand. i dont get it.
its flattering, and its nice, and its sweet, but it kills everything. i try not to let it, but cole confessed early last semester and we barely talk/hang out. we see each other in passing, really. it just...i finally think "hey, i have guy friends! finally!" because i never used to have guy friends, but then they go and pull stunts like this. it just...it frustrates me.
why. cant i have guy friends. and why...out of the ones that like me...cant they be people i like back. hey, maybe its a guy friends curse. if thats true, then my mission in life is now to become donghae's best friend and accidentally seduce him by being an idiot.
...
(- -)'' *SIIIIIIIIGH*. help me.