the absolute cheapest gift I could afford to give: an update
Are you excited? Well, ARE YOU EXCITED?!?!
Of course you're not excited, blogging sucks, man.
Anyways, I had gone a whole 28 weeks and all avoiding the painful task of the update before guilt finally caught up to me. And no, I'm not talking about the guilt from knowing that I'm letting down the total of like, 5, people that read this thing. No man, screw that. I was talking about ghosts. You know, Christmas ghosts.
So it was Christmas Eve and I was sleeping in my bed, dreaming of ways to taunt Vinny's obsession with Jade Puget. Just when I got to thinking of a song about Vinny and Jade Puget set to a classic Christmas melody, the ghost of Christmas Past appeared. He looked like me, yet had this high and squeaky voice, and was wearing a Sideout shirt. I was all "what do you want" and he said something about updating but his voice was at such a high pitch my ears couldn't pick up the sound waves. Then I heard him say the word emo, and I attempted to attack him before he disappeared. The ghost of Christmas Present thought he could show me around everyone's Christmas this year, and point out what it would be like should I not update. Of course he wasn't very convincing because my lack of update really didn't affect anyone at all. Finally, the ghost of Christmas Future showed up. He showed me what it would be like if I did not update again. I had....54678 friends on MySpace. My profile song was by Chiodos. And in my picture I saw a kid that looked like me wearing an extra small hoodie. Finally, I caved, and here I am today.
So when it comes down to it, Christmas really isn't about the presents, it has a much much deeper meaning than that. But since that's boring and not worth my time in this update, I'll just proceed to listing the most important of the wonderful material goods I received.
-A new Playstation squared. "But Anthony", you say, "why the hell would you get a new Playstation squared when you could just get a next gen gaming console like an Xbox 360 or a PS cubed or a Wii?" Good question, you overzealous out-of-shape obsessive gamer. I'll tell you exactly why.
Why not to get a Playstation cubed- As attracting as it seems to spend $47838483858 on a console that's still filled with bugs and won't work in 2 years, I'm sure at least I'd be drawn to its total of, what, 3 games released so far to choose from?
Why not to get an Xbox 360-- You know what? Apparently first person shooters are really fun. Turns out I was wrong. Turns out that every first person shooter, such as Halo, or Call of Duty, or Resistance, or whatever varies greatly and is fun on its own level. Turns out they're actually entertaining. And if all of that is true, then it must be true that RJ and Vinny would actually turn down a night alone in a room with Davey Havok and Jade Puget. (Cheap shot, I know.)
Why not to get a Wii- Are you serious? As fun it is to accidently have the Wiimote slip out of my hands and shatter my TV, at least I'm getting in shape, right? Cmon now, gamers are supposed to be lazy, I mean I can understand indulging yourself in DDR every now and then but an entire system devoted to being active is just demeaning for what all those sorry gaming losers stand for.
And yes, I'm cooler than all of them.
Okay, whoa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone, I respect your personal choice, and I'm sorry for the conceited Tom DeLonge-esque comment at the end.
Speaking of Tom DeLonge, there's this MySpace music thing up that has a handful of artists with their favorite songs and albums. And this conceited asshole Tom, he ranks his own damn album at number one, and 2 of his own songs are in his top 5 favorite songs of the year. You know, I really think that Tom is the only person who doesn't realize that Angels and Airwaves aren't that great. I don't really even think he can comprehend any thoughts past "Yeah, I'm pretty awesome, aren't I?" Then again, this is coming from the same guy who actually thought his sex jokes were funny.
Anyways, I kinda got sidetracked, I think I was talking about the cool stuff that I got.
- This thing that records music. (you know, I never know what to call it,cause every time I think of a new name for it, people don't know what the hell I'm talking about.) But this is really like a whole new responsibility for me. Most people only have to worry about not sucking at life. But me, I have to worry about not sucking at life AND not sucking at music. If worse comes to worse, I can always turn to noise rock. Where the objective is to actually suck. And play nonexistant chords. That'd be pretty damn fun actually.
Top 3 reasons why you should hang out with me over break:
1) I'll bring a hat, and if you throw some change into it, I'll dance.
2) I'll probably hurt myself. We can bet on how it'll happen. I'm feeling pretty confident on running into something.
3) I have this really cheap glow-in-the-dark sword (not quite a glowstick, but it's an improvement I guess), so we can rave.
I think I'm going to count how many times I've said "anyways" on this journal.
I know I don't deserve them, but could you comment me anyways? I might actually put in a little more effort next time.