(no subject)
It seems as though I ought to write something since the last time I did was in September. In all honesty, this is the first time I have had a breather since then. I am currently working 25-30 hours a week at CPK and 5-10 hours at the Limited. I have been able to maintain my 18 unit courseload, my relationship with Chris and a small fraction of my sanity. I have compromised my sleep, and most of my friend time. I really dont get along with my roommate as well as I had hoped I would when I initially roommed with her. It has come to my attention that she is entirely too needy for me to deal with (sorry, we all know Im not the most patient of people) and she is the type of person whose life will always be more important than yours. I kind of fell into a rut at the beginning of the year simply because I had no one to talk to about my day with. I would come home and get a good grade on a test and no one was there to tell me great job and to say that it was refridgerator worthy. While this may seem dumb to some, I highly overestimated the power of a great job and a listening ear. I guess it is one of those things that you only miss until it is gone. In this department, I am really lucky that I started talking with Chris more and he became that listening ear for me. Despite Kinsey's attempts to make plans to live together this summer and sign a year lease together, I am sadly going to have to say no because I know that I will not be happy. We have come to a happy medium where I can appreciate what she has to offer in a roommate and I guess that is simply just different than what I had expected from her.
School is going relatively well. I know that I will be a comm major and will be studying in Madrid Fall of 07 but other than that my life is still kind of up in the air. I will be applying for internships for NBC San Diego and the CW San Diego and will see what comes from those applications. Next year I would like to be an RA second semester and would like to either graduate with a double major in english or graduate early. Grad school seems like an option but I dont know if I will have the time, money or effort to do so. I am also contemplating joining the peace corps (seriously) and helping to spread AIDS awareness in Africa. We shall see where the next few years take me...
I found out today that in addition to Carly leaving at semester, so will Kristen. Carly is going to art school in Oakland and Kristen is going to pharmacy school in Florida. Alli is moving out of Gillian's place because they basically cant stand each other anymore and I officially have no friends except Gill from last year at USD. Great...but like I said before, I let my friendships slide from the scene because I am so concentrated on school and work. I really have yet to figure out why I let myself do that. One of the most important things in my life that I identify myself to and by is my friends. We were asked in our comm class who are you? ten times. First I said Christie. Second I said a student. Third, I said a friend. and Fourth I said a hard worker....My friends are obviously above my job and are most forward in my mind. I think it is either my own selfishness, self-doubt or protection mechanism that makes me constantly chose work over friends.
This Thanksgiving weekend I was able to be home for two days. I made an effort to make sure that I was able to see as many people as I could. I was the one to actually make the phone calls and to organize events and not to just tell people that I would try to make it and that I would be late. I dont think I consciously make the decision not to see everyone simply because I get busy but sometimes I think I become busy so that I can rely on that as an excuse if need be. And thats horrible. And I hate it. Im trying to fix that right now but unfortunately I am in great, great amounts of debt and need to work in order to go back to a nice even $0 in my bank account and on my credit card.
In seeing people from high school, I feel as though I am a very different person, and that we all are very different people. I dont know if it is just me and that I do not spend enough time with everyone but I feel as though I have lost track of who they are. There seem to be remnants of the person I knew, but I feel as though I rely on what they were in high school. I think that just comes with aging (yes, I said aging). Everyone changes and evolves as time goes on, I think its just adapting to those changes and learning what is new in that persons life and what is most important. I guess I dont know what I am saying here other than I wish I could really get to know everyone's life at school and such and how much different their lives are.
My work situation is fine. I still love Greg and I have really learned to love Joel. Joel is the most incompetent person I have ever met and he is my manager. He is seriously such a goofball and knows that he is incompetent and thats what makes him spectacular. He tried to be "helpful" one night and I basically just ended up ordering him around and he loved it because he had something to do. I am working for most of the break because Greg is being a little bitch but o well, I really do need money. Yet again it looks like I am sacrificing relationships for work and seem to be okay with it. Whats going to make Christmas hard is not being able to just veg out at home with my parents and with my niece and now with Chris. What I love about Chris is that distance really does not matter. On Saturday night I had just gotten out of work and we were talking. We basically established that I had horrible cabin fever and that I needed to get out of my apartment. So at around midnight we decided that we were going to Disneyland the next day. I really think that it is his spontaneous nature and willingness to go with the flow that makes me so attracted to him. Lets face it, Im not the type of person that likes to plan things. When I say lets go to Hollywood, I really mean lets just get up and go to Hollywood. One thing that again bothers me about Kinsey is she really is the type of person that I dont want to be. She makes decisions about stupid, everyday, nonsensical things based on money or time. She doesnt buy figi water because its too expensive, she doesnt have time to workout or to bake cookies. I dont know if its that shes too uptight or too mature for me or whatever but I hate rules and I hate boundaries. Money and time have never really seemed to make decisions for me. I still am crazy and spend money when I am in debt and I still do everything possible despite my knowledge that I wont be able to do anything (hence the 2 jobs and 18 units ordeal). I guess I never settle for what is given to me. There will always be something more to do and there will be nothing in my way to stop me. I think that Chris is a lot like this. He does what he wants and when he wants. He has come to visit me just to spend a few hours with me in San Diego when he has work the next morning. We are both the type of people who dont take life seriously. He is probably the perfect contrast to my life with Kinsey and he overall just makes me entirely too happy. So all of you people out there who were left in the dark, there it is. Im dating Chris. Sorry I didnt tell you all before.
Once finals are over and things settle down I think I will be really happy with what has happened this semester. Next semester presents itself to already be a challenge with upper division courses and my two best friends here at school transfering but I think I may be ready to take it on because I really, truly believe that we are not given more than what we can do. I just think that God knows I can take a lot and is pushing me to do more. I dont know in which direction that push is going but I will let you know when I think I have it figured out. Much love to all who may have read this whole thing :)
School is going relatively well. I know that I will be a comm major and will be studying in Madrid Fall of 07 but other than that my life is still kind of up in the air. I will be applying for internships for NBC San Diego and the CW San Diego and will see what comes from those applications. Next year I would like to be an RA second semester and would like to either graduate with a double major in english or graduate early. Grad school seems like an option but I dont know if I will have the time, money or effort to do so. I am also contemplating joining the peace corps (seriously) and helping to spread AIDS awareness in Africa. We shall see where the next few years take me...
I found out today that in addition to Carly leaving at semester, so will Kristen. Carly is going to art school in Oakland and Kristen is going to pharmacy school in Florida. Alli is moving out of Gillian's place because they basically cant stand each other anymore and I officially have no friends except Gill from last year at USD. Great...but like I said before, I let my friendships slide from the scene because I am so concentrated on school and work. I really have yet to figure out why I let myself do that. One of the most important things in my life that I identify myself to and by is my friends. We were asked in our comm class who are you? ten times. First I said Christie. Second I said a student. Third, I said a friend. and Fourth I said a hard worker....My friends are obviously above my job and are most forward in my mind. I think it is either my own selfishness, self-doubt or protection mechanism that makes me constantly chose work over friends.
This Thanksgiving weekend I was able to be home for two days. I made an effort to make sure that I was able to see as many people as I could. I was the one to actually make the phone calls and to organize events and not to just tell people that I would try to make it and that I would be late. I dont think I consciously make the decision not to see everyone simply because I get busy but sometimes I think I become busy so that I can rely on that as an excuse if need be. And thats horrible. And I hate it. Im trying to fix that right now but unfortunately I am in great, great amounts of debt and need to work in order to go back to a nice even $0 in my bank account and on my credit card.
In seeing people from high school, I feel as though I am a very different person, and that we all are very different people. I dont know if it is just me and that I do not spend enough time with everyone but I feel as though I have lost track of who they are. There seem to be remnants of the person I knew, but I feel as though I rely on what they were in high school. I think that just comes with aging (yes, I said aging). Everyone changes and evolves as time goes on, I think its just adapting to those changes and learning what is new in that persons life and what is most important. I guess I dont know what I am saying here other than I wish I could really get to know everyone's life at school and such and how much different their lives are.
My work situation is fine. I still love Greg and I have really learned to love Joel. Joel is the most incompetent person I have ever met and he is my manager. He is seriously such a goofball and knows that he is incompetent and thats what makes him spectacular. He tried to be "helpful" one night and I basically just ended up ordering him around and he loved it because he had something to do. I am working for most of the break because Greg is being a little bitch but o well, I really do need money. Yet again it looks like I am sacrificing relationships for work and seem to be okay with it. Whats going to make Christmas hard is not being able to just veg out at home with my parents and with my niece and now with Chris. What I love about Chris is that distance really does not matter. On Saturday night I had just gotten out of work and we were talking. We basically established that I had horrible cabin fever and that I needed to get out of my apartment. So at around midnight we decided that we were going to Disneyland the next day. I really think that it is his spontaneous nature and willingness to go with the flow that makes me so attracted to him. Lets face it, Im not the type of person that likes to plan things. When I say lets go to Hollywood, I really mean lets just get up and go to Hollywood. One thing that again bothers me about Kinsey is she really is the type of person that I dont want to be. She makes decisions about stupid, everyday, nonsensical things based on money or time. She doesnt buy figi water because its too expensive, she doesnt have time to workout or to bake cookies. I dont know if its that shes too uptight or too mature for me or whatever but I hate rules and I hate boundaries. Money and time have never really seemed to make decisions for me. I still am crazy and spend money when I am in debt and I still do everything possible despite my knowledge that I wont be able to do anything (hence the 2 jobs and 18 units ordeal). I guess I never settle for what is given to me. There will always be something more to do and there will be nothing in my way to stop me. I think that Chris is a lot like this. He does what he wants and when he wants. He has come to visit me just to spend a few hours with me in San Diego when he has work the next morning. We are both the type of people who dont take life seriously. He is probably the perfect contrast to my life with Kinsey and he overall just makes me entirely too happy. So all of you people out there who were left in the dark, there it is. Im dating Chris. Sorry I didnt tell you all before.
Once finals are over and things settle down I think I will be really happy with what has happened this semester. Next semester presents itself to already be a challenge with upper division courses and my two best friends here at school transfering but I think I may be ready to take it on because I really, truly believe that we are not given more than what we can do. I just think that God knows I can take a lot and is pushing me to do more. I dont know in which direction that push is going but I will let you know when I think I have it figured out. Much love to all who may have read this whole thing :)