(no subject)
So it's 11:57 am and I've already given up on the day, clearly, because I'm sitting around in my bathrobe posting to livejournal and googling Saturday Night Live trasncripts.
Instead of a real entry, here's part of my new favourite skit:
Chris: Alright? Well, let's just start with a quick security refresher! Let's name some liquids and some gels!
Dane: So, just, uh, yell out some liquids.
[ the recruits sit stone-faced, none of them have a response prepared ]
Chris: You want to name some liquids, and/or some gels!
Dane: Liquids and gels.
[ again, no response from the stone-faced recruits ]
Dane: Anything you've got!
Kenan: Water.
Dane: [ pleased ] Water! That is a liquid! Good!
Maya: Toothpaste!!
Chris: Bingo!! That is a gel!!
Amy: Shampoo!!
Dane: [ smiling ] Wow! you guys are doing great!
Fred: Turkey Sandwich!!
Dane: Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
Chris: Not a liquid or a gel!
Fred: Right. But, uh, sometimes turkey's a little wet. So --
Dane: Okay, yeah - that doesn't make it a liquid!
Amy: What about mustard!
Chris: Good! That counts!
Fred: [ hitting a revelation ] Ahhhh.. so a turkey sandwich is a liquid if it has mustard on it!
Dane: No! Uh, because it wouldn't have more than three ounces of mustard on it.
Maya: [ in all seriousness ] It would if you loved mustard!
Instead of a real entry, here's part of my new favourite skit:
Chris: Alright? Well, let's just start with a quick security refresher! Let's name some liquids and some gels!
Dane: So, just, uh, yell out some liquids.
[ the recruits sit stone-faced, none of them have a response prepared ]
Chris: You want to name some liquids, and/or some gels!
Dane: Liquids and gels.
[ again, no response from the stone-faced recruits ]
Dane: Anything you've got!
Kenan: Water.
Dane: [ pleased ] Water! That is a liquid! Good!
Maya: Toothpaste!!
Chris: Bingo!! That is a gel!!
Amy: Shampoo!!
Dane: [ smiling ] Wow! you guys are doing great!
Fred: Turkey Sandwich!!
Dane: Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
Chris: Not a liquid or a gel!
Fred: Right. But, uh, sometimes turkey's a little wet. So --
Dane: Okay, yeah - that doesn't make it a liquid!
Amy: What about mustard!
Chris: Good! That counts!
Fred: [ hitting a revelation ] Ahhhh.. so a turkey sandwich is a liquid if it has mustard on it!
Dane: No! Uh, because it wouldn't have more than three ounces of mustard on it.
Maya: [ in all seriousness ] It would if you loved mustard!