ow some more
Title: With or Without You (I can't live)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Only responsible for their fictional corruption.
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Warning: My own world again, slightly reminiscent of the canon one.
Summary: Boone was just another thing that can't be happening, in this place that always seems to provide the impossible.
A/N: For the ever-lovely Queen halfdutch, who wanted "Boone" action. This is J/S and sort of angsty in the end, but I hope it works.
The first time Jack claimed to have talked to Boone's ghost, Sawyer laughed. Hard and fast, as if to say - "It's not that I don't believe you. It's just that it's not particularly funny and not something I really wish I knew."
"Of course you did, Doc. Why not? How'd he look? Afterlife treatin' him alright?"
Jack had said he looked different, and Sawyer had heard "better" in the unexpected twist of Jack's lips upward.
"Really? I have to be jealous of dead guys now? It's not enough with Kate runnin' around twistin' ankles and makin' even less good excuses to moon all over you."
Jack had said Sawyer didn't need to worry about anybody, but he hadn't slept well that night, kept expecting to run into spirits at every turn. Boone was the first - the first man on this shithole island Jack couldn't save. Sawyer is just the latest.
"What'd he say? I mean, was he like Hamlet's daddy all silent and ominous, or more like Jacob Marley - rattling chains and doling out warnings?"
Jack had said it was a lot less novelistic, anti-climatic. Their old "friend" sitting at the hatch table, telling Jack he didn't blame him, calling Jack stupid for still blaming himself.
"I see what you mean by changed. Maybe I could tolerate that boy now. If there's a next time tell him I'll see him in hell."
Jack was pretty sure it was his mind playing tricks on him. Sawyer didn't argue, knew Jack didn't really need him too - they both knew the message was sound, even if its messenger imagined.
+
The second time Jack rubbed elbows with Boone, Sawyer was less grateful, not so very amused.
"What ya gettin' out of this, huh? Did you guys have something goin' on I wasn't aware of? That why you fought so hard to keep him alive and kickin'?"
Jack had only pulled him close and promised singular devotion. Insisted that Boone was just another thing that can't be happening, in this place that always seems to provide the impossible.
"What'd he want this time?"
Jack had heard an earful of information, all of it a lot less vague and self-serving than before. Boone seemed to know an awful lot about his former cohort Locke's plans for island domination.
"Interesting."
After full disclosure he was left feeling Jack's fixation was one sided, thankfully on the right side. Then, Sawyer sort of wanted to see for himself, to tell Boone a thing or two about how things had shifted since he'd gone on to join the choir invisible. Sawyer is sure that is one thing the kid never saw coming, the same as the rest.
Most days it still surprises Sawyer. Jack by his side, their mutual support, two men intrinsically opposed finding common ground in passion, the need for release, an anchor in the solid weight of contrasting strengths.
Sawyer isn't good at letting go, Jack isn't good at giving up - so they both gave in. Sawyer forces Jack's hand when he takes on too much, and Jack challenges Sawyer to be better than he has to be, more open than he's comfortable with.
Jack had looked him in the eye and insisted it didn't really mean anything - these visits, this secret Jack was keeping from everyone but him.
Sawyer chose to believe.
+
It's always unimportant until it isn't. That's how this place works.
The last time Jack skims over the details, won't really confirm or deny anything happened. There is just an unmistakable paleness to Jack's face, a shake of his whole body when Sawyer tries to stop him from walking away.
"Hey!"
Jack is silent, scared, like it is the first time he's seen a ghost, not another time in a long line of same shit different day.
Sawyer takes a clue from the heaviness of the moment and nods, waiting.
It's not long before Jack says - "I'm going to get off the island -"
No "we," and Sawyer doesn't know what to do with that, isn't sure he wants to know the details, but gets Jack's panicked "It's a mistake, but I'll make it anyway. I always make it anyway. You won't be able to stop me. You might not even try."
Jack doesn't say if this future is tomorrow or six months down the line. He doesn't say that there is a chance it might not happen. There is no doubt. Jack's voice, the look in his eye, is sure. Sawyer can feel him pulling away already. All because of something whispered in the dark, spoken by a shadow.
A part of Sawyer wants to push, punch, lie and say good riddance then - but instead he follows. He slips behind Jack into the relative comfort of his tent and stays.
"Well you aren't gone yet."
And when Jack turns, slips his arms around Sawyer like tonight is all they have, Sawyer sinks into his kiss like it's all he wants. It feels like enough, more than either one has ever had.
Sawyer sort of hates Boone, as much as any man can hate an unseen enemy, for doing this. For coming back and reminding them both that this isn't fate - that there was a past, and that there will - most certainly - be a future without.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Only responsible for their fictional corruption.
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Warning: My own world again, slightly reminiscent of the canon one.
Summary: Boone was just another thing that can't be happening, in this place that always seems to provide the impossible.
A/N: For the ever-lovely Queen halfdutch, who wanted "Boone" action. This is J/S and sort of angsty in the end, but I hope it works.
The first time Jack claimed to have talked to Boone's ghost, Sawyer laughed. Hard and fast, as if to say - "It's not that I don't believe you. It's just that it's not particularly funny and not something I really wish I knew."
"Of course you did, Doc. Why not? How'd he look? Afterlife treatin' him alright?"
Jack had said he looked different, and Sawyer had heard "better" in the unexpected twist of Jack's lips upward.
"Really? I have to be jealous of dead guys now? It's not enough with Kate runnin' around twistin' ankles and makin' even less good excuses to moon all over you."
Jack had said Sawyer didn't need to worry about anybody, but he hadn't slept well that night, kept expecting to run into spirits at every turn. Boone was the first - the first man on this shithole island Jack couldn't save. Sawyer is just the latest.
"What'd he say? I mean, was he like Hamlet's daddy all silent and ominous, or more like Jacob Marley - rattling chains and doling out warnings?"
Jack had said it was a lot less novelistic, anti-climatic. Their old "friend" sitting at the hatch table, telling Jack he didn't blame him, calling Jack stupid for still blaming himself.
"I see what you mean by changed. Maybe I could tolerate that boy now. If there's a next time tell him I'll see him in hell."
Jack was pretty sure it was his mind playing tricks on him. Sawyer didn't argue, knew Jack didn't really need him too - they both knew the message was sound, even if its messenger imagined.
+
The second time Jack rubbed elbows with Boone, Sawyer was less grateful, not so very amused.
"What ya gettin' out of this, huh? Did you guys have something goin' on I wasn't aware of? That why you fought so hard to keep him alive and kickin'?"
Jack had only pulled him close and promised singular devotion. Insisted that Boone was just another thing that can't be happening, in this place that always seems to provide the impossible.
"What'd he want this time?"
Jack had heard an earful of information, all of it a lot less vague and self-serving than before. Boone seemed to know an awful lot about his former cohort Locke's plans for island domination.
"Interesting."
After full disclosure he was left feeling Jack's fixation was one sided, thankfully on the right side. Then, Sawyer sort of wanted to see for himself, to tell Boone a thing or two about how things had shifted since he'd gone on to join the choir invisible. Sawyer is sure that is one thing the kid never saw coming, the same as the rest.
Most days it still surprises Sawyer. Jack by his side, their mutual support, two men intrinsically opposed finding common ground in passion, the need for release, an anchor in the solid weight of contrasting strengths.
Sawyer isn't good at letting go, Jack isn't good at giving up - so they both gave in. Sawyer forces Jack's hand when he takes on too much, and Jack challenges Sawyer to be better than he has to be, more open than he's comfortable with.
Jack had looked him in the eye and insisted it didn't really mean anything - these visits, this secret Jack was keeping from everyone but him.
Sawyer chose to believe.
+
It's always unimportant until it isn't. That's how this place works.
The last time Jack skims over the details, won't really confirm or deny anything happened. There is just an unmistakable paleness to Jack's face, a shake of his whole body when Sawyer tries to stop him from walking away.
"Hey!"
Jack is silent, scared, like it is the first time he's seen a ghost, not another time in a long line of same shit different day.
Sawyer takes a clue from the heaviness of the moment and nods, waiting.
It's not long before Jack says - "I'm going to get off the island -"
No "we," and Sawyer doesn't know what to do with that, isn't sure he wants to know the details, but gets Jack's panicked "It's a mistake, but I'll make it anyway. I always make it anyway. You won't be able to stop me. You might not even try."
Jack doesn't say if this future is tomorrow or six months down the line. He doesn't say that there is a chance it might not happen. There is no doubt. Jack's voice, the look in his eye, is sure. Sawyer can feel him pulling away already. All because of something whispered in the dark, spoken by a shadow.
A part of Sawyer wants to push, punch, lie and say good riddance then - but instead he follows. He slips behind Jack into the relative comfort of his tent and stays.
"Well you aren't gone yet."
And when Jack turns, slips his arms around Sawyer like tonight is all they have, Sawyer sinks into his kiss like it's all he wants. It feels like enough, more than either one has ever had.
Sawyer sort of hates Boone, as much as any man can hate an unseen enemy, for doing this. For coming back and reminding them both that this isn't fate - that there was a past, and that there will - most certainly - be a future without.