A little bit about where I live...err... the state I live in...
Alright, so I didn't find this myself, a couple of my other friends have posted it, and I was interested about what was on Utah. So...here we go.
You Know You're From Utah When...
Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange.
Yes it does...dude... O.o
You can pronounce Tooele.
Is this supposed to be hard outside of Utah? Didn't know that...It's too...ell...ah. I think.
The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.
The U rocks the Y. 'nuff said. Except the Y has better food. (You didn't hear that from me)
You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
Never been to a funeral...does that apply?
You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month.
I hate early mornings and afternoons...stupid metal things out in the crazy temperatures.
You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".
Honestly, I've heard some say things like, "Gosh darnit, my flipping pencil broke! Shoot!" Wth?
Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.
Tulips, roses, trees...me...yep, whatever. Stupid snow.
Hunting season is a school holiday.
Not in Salt Lake City
The largest liquor store is the state government.
Psssh. No, it's the huge half-block "liquor emporium" on State Street. I think.
You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.
Never tried it, but it's possible. We still had snow in the mountains in June.
30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.
I know! GODDAMNED HUMIDITY! It makes my hair all poofy!
Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.
I hope not...
You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.
Yeah, you roast meat in one, roast non-believers in another. I think.
The elevation exceeds the population
See above (not in SLC).
You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you
I've seen that happen before.
You can see the stars at night
Yeah, if you're...1) in the mountains, 2) have lights off, and 3) have binoculars. #3 isn't really required.
You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever."
Hell no. But I've seen them. And magnets too.
You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.
What? More polygamy jokes...
Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.
Hey, again again. I think. Huh?
You have more children than you can find biblical names for.
Yes, I have lots of children. I've named them Annie Mae, Annie Mai, Annie May, Annie Mee, and Annie Moo. And John Winn Paul Mark Smith III.
Your family considers a trip to McDonald'd a night out..
"Mickey Dee's" sucks.
Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon.
That was Annie Mee.
You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.
IT'S THE PACKERS AGAINST THE GIANTS! Actually, no, and no.
Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.
What is it about kids and Utah? Yes, there's lots of kids. Yes, it's weird. Yes, polygamist Mormons have lots of hawt crazy incestuous pedophile sex. But it's not that common outside of the crazy-cities!
You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.
Coke freaking owns you. Eat more caffiene, [explicitive censored]."
You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.
Erm, I'm guessing this is referring to the church. Yes, Mormons are powerful here. Next.
At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.
What salad? Bowls? Neighbors?
You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant.
I don't drink coffee, but no.
You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway.
Yeah, I do. If they're so important, why don't they just fly there? No, really. No.
There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.
My neighbors are either a) fat, or b) old. Or both. There's a church behind my house. I don't go to it. I don't want to know who plays sports. "Hey guys, let's play Jiggles vs. Wrinkles!" Props if you got that.
You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.
Yes, and he tastes really bitter and makes you act weird.
You negotiate prices at a garage sale.
Garage sales here suck.
You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.
Yeah. Jell-O, plus salad. Or maybe they don't mean that literally. Marshmallows and coconut?
You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting.
As stated before, the Y sucks. No.
You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.
I wish. More like a small sample cup that was half-eaten and is now fully-frozen through.
Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
My father-in-law is Rick Hilton. Wait. That would make me married to...omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg kill me now.
A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.
LOL YES! Wait no. Wrong again. The Y sucks.
Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit.
The person who wrote this had a massive hangover and confused Britain with LA with SLC. Fool.
Sandals are the best-selling shoes.
Foot odor is horrid. I don't wear sandals much.
You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic."
Stupid censoring "businesses". Leave my movies alone and go get a real job.
Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.
A bunch have the Bible, never checked for the Book of Mormon, but I bet this is right.
You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.
Yeah, I call it "improvised cardboard-box with Nabisco label". Like it? Hey, guess what? No.
You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.
Honors American Studies in 8th grade, and not too much about the church, just some.
You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
Hey, don't diss on the zoo animals. Pinky the elephant rocks. But that's also probably true.
You're on your own if you are turning left.
Haha! *turns left*
Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.
More about hunting. Yes for the first part, stfu for the second.
People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.
It's been done.
There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.
Lemme check...hmm, yes, if Mohammed was a middle-eastern version of Jesus and also rocked out to the awesomeness of the Mormon church.
The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.
Or the bus. Actually, nope, the ski lift.
People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.
Who buys the gallon of milk?
In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.
Depends on where you live. Did I mention the Y sucks?
Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday.
Beer drinkers don't shop. They peruse.
You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building.
So...cigarette smoke is everywhere? Or only outside? I've been to places with cigarette smoke all over. It sucks.
The cost of living rises while your salary drops.
Is this true only in Utah?
Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.
I went outside and looked around. If by every, you actually meant to type "1 out of 10", then yes. Ooh, cynicism. How clever of me!
When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.
No, I believe cigarette lighters come no matter what. And, err...my friend had ski racks on his car that extended over the top across half a lane on both sides. And he didn't get pulled over.
Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.
Ahahaha, that one's original! Come back here, Annie May!
Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.
Give me an "A"! Give me an "S"! Give me a whole long [explicitive deleted]! Yeah, I know of this. It sucks.
"Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check.
Yeah, if you ever need anything, just get a hookup with my bishop. He's tight with me like I'm tight with big "J".
More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.
There's a good deal of them. Actually semi-true...wow! They remodelled part of my crappy-ass-ghetto-westside-old school to film parts of a movie in it.
You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door.
Wrong. I'm not Mormon. Harassment!
Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from.
"Whut comes inna Utah, stays hire 'un Yewtah!"
You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.
Who needs wine when you can have the refreshing taste of Hawaiian Punch©™®?
You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.
Poor, poor, third world nations.
Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.
What the hell is a cultural hall?
Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.
F*** YEAH, WE'RE PARTYING TONIGHT!
You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.
My mom used to cut my hair. It sucked. She was horrible at it. She cut off part of my ear. It grew back. I cry myself to sleep.
You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.
What? Do we hate Kool-Aid here?
You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.
Um...? Farmers?
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.
Err, no. Unless any of you moved to Utah. In which case, I'm very, very sorry, and please, please, please go away. It's for your own good. Now get the *O.o - large string of profanity* out before you start to go weird like me.
Yep, that little thing got its own little lined section. And it was far less amusing than it should have been. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. It's just that Utah gets me so worked up...*sniff*. Or just that I don't like this place. Boston, here I come...
Oh, and I'm listening to Frou Frou. Whoa...it's happy music.
You Know You're From Utah When...
Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange.
Yes it does...dude... O.o
You can pronounce Tooele.
Is this supposed to be hard outside of Utah? Didn't know that...It's too...ell...ah. I think.
The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.
The U rocks the Y. 'nuff said. Except the Y has better food. (You didn't hear that from me)
You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
Never been to a funeral...does that apply?
You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month.
I hate early mornings and afternoons...stupid metal things out in the crazy temperatures.
You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".
Honestly, I've heard some say things like, "Gosh darnit, my flipping pencil broke! Shoot!" Wth?
Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.
Tulips, roses, trees...me...yep, whatever. Stupid snow.
Hunting season is a school holiday.
Not in Salt Lake City
The largest liquor store is the state government.
Psssh. No, it's the huge half-block "liquor emporium" on State Street. I think.
You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.
Never tried it, but it's possible. We still had snow in the mountains in June.
30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.
I know! GODDAMNED HUMIDITY! It makes my hair all poofy!
Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.
I hope not...
You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.
Yeah, you roast meat in one, roast non-believers in another. I think.
The elevation exceeds the population
See above (not in SLC).
You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you
I've seen that happen before.
You can see the stars at night
Yeah, if you're...1) in the mountains, 2) have lights off, and 3) have binoculars. #3 isn't really required.
You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever."
Hell no. But I've seen them. And magnets too.
You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.
What? More polygamy jokes...
Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.
Hey, again again. I think. Huh?
You have more children than you can find biblical names for.
Yes, I have lots of children. I've named them Annie Mae, Annie Mai, Annie May, Annie Mee, and Annie Moo. And John Winn Paul Mark Smith III.
Your family considers a trip to McDonald'd a night out..
"Mickey Dee's" sucks.
Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon.
That was Annie Mee.
You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.
IT'S THE PACKERS AGAINST THE GIANTS! Actually, no, and no.
Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.
What is it about kids and Utah? Yes, there's lots of kids. Yes, it's weird. Yes, polygamist Mormons have lots of hawt crazy incestuous pedophile sex. But it's not that common outside of the crazy-cities!
You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.
Coke freaking owns you. Eat more caffiene, [explicitive censored]."
You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.
Erm, I'm guessing this is referring to the church. Yes, Mormons are powerful here. Next.
At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.
What salad? Bowls? Neighbors?
You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant.
I don't drink coffee, but no.
You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway.
Yeah, I do. If they're so important, why don't they just fly there? No, really. No.
There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.
My neighbors are either a) fat, or b) old. Or both. There's a church behind my house. I don't go to it. I don't want to know who plays sports. "Hey guys, let's play Jiggles vs. Wrinkles!" Props if you got that.
You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.
Yes, and he tastes really bitter and makes you act weird.
You negotiate prices at a garage sale.
Garage sales here suck.
You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.
Yeah. Jell-O, plus salad. Or maybe they don't mean that literally. Marshmallows and coconut?
You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting.
As stated before, the Y sucks. No.
You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.
I wish. More like a small sample cup that was half-eaten and is now fully-frozen through.
Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
My father-in-law is Rick Hilton. Wait. That would make me married to...omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg kill me now.
A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.
LOL YES! Wait no. Wrong again. The Y sucks.
Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit.
The person who wrote this had a massive hangover and confused Britain with LA with SLC. Fool.
Sandals are the best-selling shoes.
Foot odor is horrid. I don't wear sandals much.
You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic."
Stupid censoring "businesses". Leave my movies alone and go get a real job.
Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.
A bunch have the Bible, never checked for the Book of Mormon, but I bet this is right.
You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.
Yeah, I call it "improvised cardboard-box with Nabisco label". Like it? Hey, guess what? No.
You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.
Honors American Studies in 8th grade, and not too much about the church, just some.
You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
Hey, don't diss on the zoo animals. Pinky the elephant rocks. But that's also probably true.
You're on your own if you are turning left.
Haha! *turns left*
Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.
More about hunting. Yes for the first part, stfu for the second.
People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.
It's been done.
There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.
Lemme check...hmm, yes, if Mohammed was a middle-eastern version of Jesus and also rocked out to the awesomeness of the Mormon church.
The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.
Or the bus. Actually, nope, the ski lift.
People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.
Who buys the gallon of milk?
In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.
Depends on where you live. Did I mention the Y sucks?
Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday.
Beer drinkers don't shop. They peruse.
You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building.
So...cigarette smoke is everywhere? Or only outside? I've been to places with cigarette smoke all over. It sucks.
The cost of living rises while your salary drops.
Is this true only in Utah?
Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.
I went outside and looked around. If by every, you actually meant to type "1 out of 10", then yes. Ooh, cynicism. How clever of me!
When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.
No, I believe cigarette lighters come no matter what. And, err...my friend had ski racks on his car that extended over the top across half a lane on both sides. And he didn't get pulled over.
Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.
Ahahaha, that one's original! Come back here, Annie May!
Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.
Give me an "A"! Give me an "S"! Give me a whole long [explicitive deleted]! Yeah, I know of this. It sucks.
"Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check.
Yeah, if you ever need anything, just get a hookup with my bishop. He's tight with me like I'm tight with big "J".
More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.
There's a good deal of them. Actually semi-true...wow! They remodelled part of my crappy-ass-ghetto-westside-old school to film parts of a movie in it.
You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door.
Wrong. I'm not Mormon. Harassment!
Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from.
"Whut comes inna Utah, stays hire 'un Yewtah!"
You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.
Who needs wine when you can have the refreshing taste of Hawaiian Punch©™®?
You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.
Poor, poor, third world nations.
Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.
What the hell is a cultural hall?
Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.
F*** YEAH, WE'RE PARTYING TONIGHT!
You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.
My mom used to cut my hair. It sucked. She was horrible at it. She cut off part of my ear. It grew back. I cry myself to sleep.
You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.
What? Do we hate Kool-Aid here?
You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.
Um...? Farmers?
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.
Err, no. Unless any of you moved to Utah. In which case, I'm very, very sorry, and please, please, please go away. It's for your own good. Now get the *O.o - large string of profanity* out before you start to go weird like me.
Yep, that little thing got its own little lined section. And it was far less amusing than it should have been. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. It's just that Utah gets me so worked up...*sniff*. Or just that I don't like this place. Boston, here I come...
Oh, and I'm listening to Frou Frou. Whoa...it's happy music.