I questioned my faith last night...
I feel like my life is being turned completely upside down, and I am in no position to anything to stop it. I am just turning around and running away. I don't think I have cried so much in a long time. And I can't stop.I just want to keep on and keep on. I can't even look people in the eyes anymore. Because the eyes are the window to the soul, and I don't want anyone to see my pain. Pain is weakness...and people take advantage of the weak.
I am in a state of torture and shock. what will become of me?? one of my new fave songs is called "save us"...by cartel...it says "when our soul is gone, what will me miss?" and "who will save us?"...I need someone to save me...
last night I begged my friend justin to come out at like 2 to comfort me, to hug me and tell me it would be ok...i cried for over half an hour...and couldn't stop...i kept on and kept on...and he tried to comfort me...and said have faith...that broke me...cuz we are such a faithless people...and i asked how i was suppose to have faith in something i couldn't even see??
I can't go on the way I am...the emotional stress I am under is about to be the death of me. I can feel the pressure beating down on me...and i want to scream and cry until i have nothing left to give...the effects of everything...i can't eat or sleep right...im back to forcing food down...and being sketchy...
i can't stop the way i am going...i feel like i am hurtling uncontrollably towards a final fate i don't want...and i have no will left to fight back...what will become of me now??
I am in a state of torture and shock. what will become of me?? one of my new fave songs is called "save us"...by cartel...it says "when our soul is gone, what will me miss?" and "who will save us?"...I need someone to save me...
last night I begged my friend justin to come out at like 2 to comfort me, to hug me and tell me it would be ok...i cried for over half an hour...and couldn't stop...i kept on and kept on...and he tried to comfort me...and said have faith...that broke me...cuz we are such a faithless people...and i asked how i was suppose to have faith in something i couldn't even see??
I can't go on the way I am...the emotional stress I am under is about to be the death of me. I can feel the pressure beating down on me...and i want to scream and cry until i have nothing left to give...the effects of everything...i can't eat or sleep right...im back to forcing food down...and being sketchy...
i can't stop the way i am going...i feel like i am hurtling uncontrollably towards a final fate i don't want...and i have no will left to fight back...what will become of me now??