Everything's Coming Up Milhouse!
I just realized that it's been over two months since my last update to the ol' S-bomb. That is shameful and wrong and I should be punished to the fullest extent of internet law. No more Buffy slash fanfic for me!
My long absence was due mostly to my paid web writing gig, which is going swimmingly, thank you very much. Traffic and response has been good, with an occasional OMG spike when I write something for the main MSN page. Plus, I am fully encouraged to be silly, which I like to think I'm good at. I love that I'm not only not discouraged, but fully expected to post things like NFL picks by Wesley Willis.
But the MSN Sports Filter gig and my other dough-earning obligations leave little time in the 9-to-5 to write Me Stuff (c), and Scratchbomb.com has unwittingly suffered, which is not only regrettable, but also wasteful, since I dutifully pay Cold Harde Cash to rent this here space every month. So my premature new year's resolution is to return here more frequently than I have.
I also plan on reviving Holy Goddamn!, now that my nuptials have successfully been completed. It was without a doubt one of the best times I've ever had in my life. I successfully fed a constant stream of food and libations to my friends and relatives, encouraging them to gorge themselves on all manner of unhealthy items. We set a land-speed record for fastest ceremony ever in order to cut as little as possible into eating and drinking time. The DJ was awesome--played all the kind of stuff he should have, very light on the schmaltz, and THANK CHRIST no "Electric Slide". Pretty much everyone who I wanted there who isn't dead was there, and they all seemed to have a blast. The Ol' Ball and Chain* and I are not big on ceremony. If we just wanted to get married, we coulda gone down to City Hall.** We put on a big show 'cause we wanted our friends and family to have a great time. And it came out exactly how we wanted it to. It's quite rare that I can say I tried to do something and it came out exactly how I wanted it to.
No joke, I feel better right now than I have since I can't even remember. About everything. My job(s) are good. I'm getting paid to write on a regular basis, on a subject (sports) that I love. I won the office NFL pool this week (14 pix = hello Xmas deaux). My wedding turned exactly how I wanted it to. The Mets are winning the free agent sweepstakes. And I don't have the creeping suspicion that all of these good things mean I'm overdue for a Big Bad Thing (mostly 'cause the events of this summer have indemnified me against Big Bad Things for a good year or two).
I kinda feel like Patton Oswalt did in his last Comedy Central special, when he mused about how he's amazed he's still funny because he's in love. "Bush is a fascist and the whole world's going to hell, but you know what makes it better? Snugglin'. Am I right, people?"
* The wife likes this nickname, btw, practically insists on it.
** My god, the city clerk's office, where you have to go to get a marriage license, makes the DMV look like friggin' Disney Land. If you set foot in that crypt of an office and witness shells of human beings register hopeful spouses and you still wanna get married, then you really wanna get married.