(no subject)
Yea, so today started out pretty good, me and topi and matt stayed up all night playing games, than matt went home early, me and topi played more games, i called rene around 1:30, she didnt sound to enthused so i told her id call her back later, than i came home, got the phone, and called her back around 2:30 or 3:00, talked to her for a few, she seemed bored and non-talkitive and i was tired so i told her i was gonna take a nap and id talk to her later, than my dad woke me up around an hour and a half ago a little before 9:00, i went to the store for him, took a shower, went online, rene wasnt on, so i looked on the caller ID, curt called me, so i called him back, that was a very shitty phone call, i found out some pretty bogus news which im not going to get into, than i tried calling rene back and i didnt get an answer, ive been trying to hang out with her for like over a week, and she keeps like, having to do other things, maybe she just doesnt want to hang out or something, i dunno, kinda seems that way i geuss, my dad thinks im smoking dope....he asks me like everyday almost now, and today he got in my face about it, which is pretty dumb cause ive never even smoked, but anyways, theres been some really wierd shit going on in my room, the door opens and closes itself, and the tv is always turning itself on, than ill reach over and turn it off, and a little while later it will just turn back on, today after i got off the phone with curt i was just sitting there thinking in my bed, and the tv turned itself on, i just looked over, and said fuck it, than it opened up the menu where you adjust the brightness and shit, than it turned back off ALL on its own, so i gave it a little wierd look, and shruged it off, i told my dad about it and he says that, its jesus cause he asked jesus to help me out or something, and i told him to tell jesus the stay the hell outta my room then cause its getting irritating, aside from all of that, i need to start eating alot less, and start getting more exercise, im the fattest ive ever been, i also need to start going to matts or somebodies to wash my clothes, cause im sick of smelling like a fucking piece of shit, my dad doesnt want me to go wash my clothes somewhere cause he thinks somehow my mom will use it against us in court or some stupid shit, so i have to walk around in clothes that havnt been washed in a month or more cause were poor, im sick of that shit, ive got so little going for me theres almost no point of existance, i know i have friends that care and all that, but i took a look at myself, and im seriously like, horrible man, im disgusting and appauling, i smell like hell, ive got bad teeth, everything about me just sucks
here it comes again, straight through the heart'
gah
im going back to bed
here it comes again, straight through the heart'
gah
im going back to bed