tell me how you really feel holy_catsJuly 20 2012, 13:39:41 UTC
oh you're silly. I don't think he loves me FOR me. Just the potential he sees in me. Like, I could be really beautiful, if only I did certain things. He wants me to do these things to look better because that will help me have more confidence in myself. Which is what you just said, too! He just does it in a guy way. I know that's shallow, but when you look good it does go a long way in helping you feel good, too! There's nothing I could demand of him except that he love me more, and the only way I can do that is by trying to improve myself. So that's what I'm doing. Although, I'm not getting any manicures. they seem like a waste of time and money to me because I can't keep them nice. I don't know why everyone else seems to be able to do that but I can't! oh well.
I go out so rarely that I get all dressed up just to go grocery shopping! I just meant I really went dressy because I thought we were going to a place where you're expected to dress, you know. Some fancy schmancy place. I actually feel more comfortable in a regular place...don't have to worry about all that snootiness haha
Re: tell me how you really feel cheranyJuly 20 2012, 15:33:27 UTC
Yes, how you look does goes a long way in how you feel about yourself. Doesn't change anything I said. I'm sure you're sick of my anti-J comments, but I won't stop making them, because the day I do is the day I stop caring what happens to you. I hate seeing a friend being treated in a way that I would never accept for myself. It makes me sad and mad!
I hate snooty places, too, especially restaurants where there is nothing simple on the menu. I'm too picky of an eater for all the fancy stuff.
Re: tell me how you really feel holy_catsJuly 20 2012, 22:22:33 UTC
I'm not sick of anything you say, ever. I ♥ you!
I probably should not write things that are so inflammatory. I should have written how he brought me a dozen red roses, and how when I said I felt dizzy and tired, he spent an hour researching anemia and bought me the best vitamins. Or how he is going to come home from 9 hours of work and make dinner for us. I agree that yes he is fucking stupid a lot of the time. yes, expecting me to be in pearls and heels when he gets home when I've spent my day bathing dogs and digging gardens and scrubbing toilets is a load of poppycock. But I also know that beneath all that shit is someone so caring and generous and sweet, and it's not his fault that his dad is an asshole who didn't show affection and made sure his teenage daughters dieted by calling them fat all the time and all kinds of messed up stuff like that. With an example like that I'm surprised how good and kind he is! I know you can't blame everything on your parents and that you have to take responsibility for your own actions as a person. Do I wish he would love me unconditionally and not care if my hair is a mess or if I gained ten pounds? That would be awesome!!! My dream come true. But dreams don't always just come true, and sometimes you have to work at them. If I can find a compromise between Stepford Wife and the Best Me I can be, I will gladly try to find it!
I know that's shallow, but when you look good it does go a long way in helping you feel good, too!
There's nothing I could demand of him except that he love me more, and the only way I can do that is by trying to improve myself. So that's what I'm doing. Although, I'm not getting any manicures. they seem like a waste of time and money to me because I can't keep them nice. I don't know why everyone else seems to be able to do that but I can't! oh well.
I go out so rarely that I get all dressed up just to go grocery shopping! I just meant I really went dressy because I thought we were going to a place where you're expected to dress, you know. Some fancy schmancy place. I actually feel more comfortable in a regular place...don't have to worry about all that snootiness haha
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I hate snooty places, too, especially restaurants where there is nothing simple on the menu. I'm too picky of an eater for all the fancy stuff.
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I probably should not write things that are so inflammatory. I should have written how he brought me a dozen red roses, and how when I said I felt dizzy and tired, he spent an hour researching anemia and bought me the best vitamins. Or how he is going to come home from 9 hours of work and make dinner for us.
I agree that yes he is fucking stupid a lot of the time. yes, expecting me to be in pearls and heels when he gets home when I've spent my day bathing dogs and digging gardens and scrubbing toilets is a load of poppycock.
But I also know that beneath all that shit is someone so caring and generous and sweet, and it's not his fault that his dad is an asshole who didn't show affection and made sure his teenage daughters dieted by calling them fat all the time and all kinds of messed up stuff like that. With an example like that I'm surprised how good and kind he is!
I know you can't blame everything on your parents and that you have to take responsibility for your own actions as a person.
Do I wish he would love me unconditionally and not care if my hair is a mess or if I gained ten pounds? That would be awesome!!! My dream come true. But dreams don't always just come true, and sometimes you have to work at them. If I can find a compromise between Stepford Wife and the Best Me I can be, I will gladly try to find it!
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