Fic for amindamazed: The World Just Strips Away

Dec 15, 2015 10:00

Title: The World Just Strips Away
Recipient: amindamazed
Author: monkiainen
Characters/Pairings: Sherlock Holmes & Joan Watson
Rating: Gen
Warnings: None (unless you count mentions of casual sex with strangers as something you need a warning for)
Summary: Both Sherlock and Joan have issues of their own during Sherlock's stay in London. Set between seasons 2 & 3.


Sherlock knows he is not a people person by any means. In fact, if anyone ever accuses him of being sympathetic or caring, he vehemently denies it. Because he is not any of those things, except for Joan.

Joan is an anomaly in his life he cannot solve. She is steady and adventurous; intelligent but still clouded by family traditions; caring and yet hard as steel. She befuddles him, and Sherlock does not know what he should do.

So he takes the coward's way out and enlists into MI6. If he is in London instead of New York then maybe he can solve the mystery of Joan. The distance will do well for their relationship, especially after what happened between Joan and Mycroft. Sherlock cannot understand what on earth Joan saw in his brother. It's not like Mycroft is especially good-looking or smart when compared to Joan.

Sherlock promises himself he will only stay in London for few weeks until he gets his mind straight. It shouldn't be that hard. But the weeks turn into months, and Sherlock is even more confused. What is happening to him? Why can't he think straight anymore? Why is he yearning human touch so much?

The London nightlife is filled with willing bodies, ready for one night of passion. Sherlock does not care who he takes home with him, as long as they are not petite and black-haired. It just feels wrong somehow. He has more meaningless sex than ever and yet he has never felt so alone before. Maybe his mind is failing him, and he cannot solve crimes anymore. Or maybe there is something wrong with him, when the carnal pleasures of flesh don't satisfy him anymore. Not even an orgasm can make him feel anything.

Sherlock knows there is one thing that would make it all go away in an instant. But it's also the one thing he cannot take. Even thinking about heroin makes him feel like he has cheated Joan somehow, although he does not understand why. It's not like he's accountable for his actions to Joan anymore, or for anyone else. He is an island, drifting alone in a murky ocean.

Meeting Kitty is somewhat an accident. He does not mean to get involved in her life, but somehow he does. Sherlock knows he is not the right person to help Kitty, and Kitty is not the woman he wants her to be. For a while they still manage to work together, but only barely. There is something missing, something that Sherlock can't quite put his finger on. It is yet another anomaly he can't solve.

It's been eight months since he left New York and a month and a half since he was fired from MI6. In a spur of a moment Sherlock decides to return to New York with Kitty in tow - there is nothing left for them in London. Maybe he could solve Kitty, if he takes her away from everything familiar and places her in a new territory.

And then there is Joan.

* * *

Joan does not know what she should be feeling right now. There is terror for being kidnapped; anger and frustration toward both Mycroft and Sherlock; sympathy for Mycroft; something reminiscent to mourning for Sherlock. It's all so complicated and yet it isn't. Part of Joan is relieved when Sherlock leaves her for London and MI6 - part of her wishes he wouldn't go. But it's for the best. Their lives had become overly interlaced recently, a fact Joan was not too happy about. There were some parts of her life she wasn't too keen to share with Sherlock.

First two months were like bliss. No more vaguely scientific experimentations or searching fictitious needle from a haystack; no more murders and rapes and blood and gore. She could do whatever she wanted, with whomever she wanted and when she wanted. And yet she was not satisfied with her life.

Captain Gregson asks for Joan's help in a complex fraud case, and suddenly everything is clear. Yes. This is what she is made to do. She does not need Sherlock to solve the cases - she can do it on her own, without pissing everyone off. One case turns into another and then another, and soon she is working as a consultant for the NYPD on her own.

Then Andrew becomes part of her life, and for a while it feels like she has everything she needs. Andrew is understanding, smart, good-looking, great in bed. But why does she feel like there is something missing in her life? It is confusing, and Joan does not know what she should do to fix her life because there shouldn't be anything to be fixed.

She thought her life was not going to be complicated without Sherlock, but apparently she was wrong.

Joan asks for Gregson to give her even more complex and dangerous cases than she is getting. She needs to know if solving impossible cases will give her the fulfilment she currently lacks. For the first twenty cases or so it feels like she has found the answer - and then nothing. Andrew is there for her, but somehow he is not the person she wants him to be. He is smart, yes, but it's not that kind of smart she wants. Even the sex starts to feel monotonous and mundane, even if Andrew is the most thoughtful and caring lover she has ever had.

It has been eight months since Sherlock left for London, and Joan wonders if she will ever see him again. Her ponderings are abruptly aborted when her key witness for the Elana March case is murdered, and she needs to find a new way to put her behind the bars. It would have been so much easier, if Sherlock hadn't chosen that particular moment to return to New York with a new protégé in tow.

Joan can't understand what Sherlock sees in Kitty. Their working relationship is nothing like the one she and Sherlock used to share. It can't be good.

And why does she feel like she has received a slap in the face, seeing them together?

character: holmes, character: watson, 2015: gift: fic, source: elementary, pairing: none

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