SUCK MY AGGREGATE

[hollywoodnorth]

Recently, I've been bombarded with SPAM in my inbox that is using a new word for male anatomy. I was very curious as to how I could "enlarge my male aggregate." At first I thought they were just taking random words and hoping we would get the context in order to by pass spam filters. ("Ladies will love your new swollen millipede") but this word keep getting repeated. Maybe my work account is aggregate friendly. So I did what any bored geek would do. I wiki'd it!

Here's what I found.

Aggregate may refer to:

• Construction aggregate, materials used in construction, including sand, gravel, crushed stone, slag, or recycled crushed concrete.

("Every girl really just wants a man with crushed stones in his pants"...nope doesn't work.)

• Aggregate (composite), in materials science, a component of a composite material used to resist compressive stress.

(I don't think I want Mr. Twizzler being used to test resistive ANYTHING.  Though it could be considered composite...half man, half sex machine!)

• Aggregator, to collect messages from multiple sources, typically from RSS.

(My little buddy the blogger. We now get closer to my actual sex life for most of my life.)

• In computer science, an object which is composed of multiple elements.

(I wonder how my aggregate would look in AutoCAD)

• Total chromatic and combinatoriality, in music, the full chromatic scale of twelve equal tempered pitch.

(I know when I think sexy things, I think of pages of unreadable music scores.)

• Aggregate series, in rocketry, a set of experimental rocket designs developed in Nazi Germany.

(I hope that this is what these ads are going for. Increase the power of your EVIL ROCKET.)

• Aggregate score, in sports, refers to the sum of two scorelines when the same two teams play each over two legs (most commonly in a knockout competition).

(Wow, Sports and math. Together. Its like my worst nightmare. Not sexy.)

• Aggregate demand, in economics, the total demand for goods and services in the economy during a specific time period.

(I know there's a wang size supply and demand joke here somewhere. Oh wait no! An "Unseen Hand" reference! Ron Paul understands his aggregate.)

• Aggregate data, in statistics, data combined from several measurements.

(They call it an aggregate because it requires several sets of measurements to understand....like two yardsticks...nah I got nothin...)

• Aggregate (Pāli, khandha; Sanskrit, skandha), in Buddhism, refers to a category of sensory experiences.

(I doubt that these spam ads are getting that classy. I can't picture a devout Buddhist meditating and thinking "you know I could reach nirvana if my jimmy was bigger.")

So remember ladies, treat your mans aggregate right.

M