note to self
sooooo spring break has been okay so far i guess
i either have a really great fun day, or i want to kill myself
but the last two days have been a mix of both.
i've completely ruined the last two days for jon and me, and it's effected amanda, brett, my whole family, and shelly and even michelle barbula a little too.
i just feel like everything is always my fault when it goes wrong and it makes it really hard to deal with and think about other things so everything builds up and then it bursts. i just want to be the best friend i can to all my friends and its so hard because we're all so busy and then we finally make time and i fuck it up. i just have to keep trying and make sure they all know that i love them and i only have the best intentions. and with my family, i just have to try and be the bigger person when it comes to fighting with my sister and know that it's not all my fault.
jon and i had a long talk and reassured me and we're okay. i know he'll love me unconditionally.
i just need to like take a step back sometimes. and listen when people tell me that they forgive me and try and stay calm and just know that everything happens for a reason and i should just accept things sometimes. and just breathe.
i just really needed to get all of that out. <3 i'll probably cry for another 45 minutes though. my eyelashes looked really good at one point today. nice and big. oh well.
i hope theres a super 7 sleepover and i hope i can see michelle and amanda one night this week too. and allie. and shelly. and kim.
i'm goign to go. RELAX.
<3
i either have a really great fun day, or i want to kill myself
but the last two days have been a mix of both.
i've completely ruined the last two days for jon and me, and it's effected amanda, brett, my whole family, and shelly and even michelle barbula a little too.
i just feel like everything is always my fault when it goes wrong and it makes it really hard to deal with and think about other things so everything builds up and then it bursts. i just want to be the best friend i can to all my friends and its so hard because we're all so busy and then we finally make time and i fuck it up. i just have to keep trying and make sure they all know that i love them and i only have the best intentions. and with my family, i just have to try and be the bigger person when it comes to fighting with my sister and know that it's not all my fault.
jon and i had a long talk and reassured me and we're okay. i know he'll love me unconditionally.
i just need to like take a step back sometimes. and listen when people tell me that they forgive me and try and stay calm and just know that everything happens for a reason and i should just accept things sometimes. and just breathe.
i just really needed to get all of that out. <3 i'll probably cry for another 45 minutes though. my eyelashes looked really good at one point today. nice and big. oh well.
i hope theres a super 7 sleepover and i hope i can see michelle and amanda one night this week too. and allie. and shelly. and kim.
i'm goign to go. RELAX.
<3