random thoughts.....
I'm babysitting my sister tonight so I stayed in....my phone got taken away AGAIN....LaMe! But I spent the day watching episodes of Utena (for anyone that doesnt know what that is its an anime my favorite no less) anyway I watched that and just stayed mellow for the afternoon and evening.
Jack and I are getting along better then ever but my mood swings are really starting to become a neuisence...I just cant seem to stay on a normal mind level. Even the slightest tiniest thing can fuck up the rest of my day and I just throw out my emotions in random directions. Sometimes I'm hyper, somtimes I cry hysterically, or I get VERY angry, or I'm just a flat out bitch. I just dont understand it. The doctors raised up the dosage of my meds, I tell Jack that my mood swings should cut out in a week or so when my system is adjusted to it. But he's really worried about me. But then I'd be worried too, if my girlfriend was having mental breakdowns for no reason 3 nights in a row too. *SIGH* I dont know everythings felt so confusing and yet I can only think of a few reasons as to why. Really things arent that bad in my life, but when I talk a walk into my mind it just feels so chaotic I want to explode. Perhaps its time to clean up my life? I just dont know...I wish I had a cigarette right now. I "quit" for like 5 days pretty good then I started again haha. BUT I have only been bumming some here and there, thats better then doing the 1 pack a day thing right? Jacks also been talking about quitting weed, I however almost fainted at the thought. Its crosssed my mind once or twice for a second or so I admit. But as I saID...."for a second or so" haha. Anyway not to much more to say, got my nails done chillin with some buddies same old shit different day.
-Jane
Jack and I are getting along better then ever but my mood swings are really starting to become a neuisence...I just cant seem to stay on a normal mind level. Even the slightest tiniest thing can fuck up the rest of my day and I just throw out my emotions in random directions. Sometimes I'm hyper, somtimes I cry hysterically, or I get VERY angry, or I'm just a flat out bitch. I just dont understand it. The doctors raised up the dosage of my meds, I tell Jack that my mood swings should cut out in a week or so when my system is adjusted to it. But he's really worried about me. But then I'd be worried too, if my girlfriend was having mental breakdowns for no reason 3 nights in a row too. *SIGH* I dont know everythings felt so confusing and yet I can only think of a few reasons as to why. Really things arent that bad in my life, but when I talk a walk into my mind it just feels so chaotic I want to explode. Perhaps its time to clean up my life? I just dont know...I wish I had a cigarette right now. I "quit" for like 5 days pretty good then I started again haha. BUT I have only been bumming some here and there, thats better then doing the 1 pack a day thing right? Jacks also been talking about quitting weed, I however almost fainted at the thought. Its crosssed my mind once or twice for a second or so I admit. But as I saID...."for a second or so" haha. Anyway not to much more to say, got my nails done chillin with some buddies same old shit different day.
-Jane