today...
So this sunday I go to visit jack...it will be my first time seeing him in 4 months....I'm very very nervous. Everyone I talk to about it tells me I have no reason to be nervous. I just want everything to be perfect, I want to be perfect...for him.
Everything is so confusing...Jack and I have argued off and on even with him locked up in rehab. He still breaks up with me off and on, hasnt called me for a few days, but the last time he did he embarressed the hell out of me in front of people I just met and it really fucked me up. I was so upset about that, only because of how he was treating me. and he blames me for looking bad in front of my friends. He's always conserned with "gee great now all your friends think I'm a dick" most of my friends would respond to that with "because you are" though....I dont know but I cant wait to see him.
Ive actually really been considering maybe Jack isn't for me....(*DUH*everyone says) but at the same time I'm so sure....how can something I'm so entirely sure about be wrong?
Next subject-
I just got asked to have sex with somebody for the 4th time today...I said no obviously haha. But its all good cause they are all my buddies and they know I luv them. So onward...no word from Ray yet but he'll write soon I know he will....right?
Everything is so confusing...Jack and I have argued off and on even with him locked up in rehab. He still breaks up with me off and on, hasnt called me for a few days, but the last time he did he embarressed the hell out of me in front of people I just met and it really fucked me up. I was so upset about that, only because of how he was treating me. and he blames me for looking bad in front of my friends. He's always conserned with "gee great now all your friends think I'm a dick" most of my friends would respond to that with "because you are" though....I dont know but I cant wait to see him.
Ive actually really been considering maybe Jack isn't for me....(*DUH*everyone says) but at the same time I'm so sure....how can something I'm so entirely sure about be wrong?
Next subject-
I just got asked to have sex with somebody for the 4th time today...I said no obviously haha. But its all good cause they are all my buddies and they know I luv them. So onward...no word from Ray yet but he'll write soon I know he will....right?