(no subject)
I had to post this to save. It was a pretty damn good convo.
Hey Lady,
I had a weird dream that you wanted to go back to MI. While I am following my own passions, I do feel a little guilty that I left within 9 months of you coming to CA. honestly, those were some of the best times I have had in CA. we have always been close, but I feel that really added to our relationship. I have also followed my heart and instinct (leaving MI behind to head to CA as an example). But while it didn’t hold me back, it bothered me that I was missing out being around you, Barrett and Mom.
I know we have talked about this before, and if you ever decided to move somewhere else I will always support you 100% but my biggest fear is that I return and you have left or in the process of leaving. I love OC, CA and want to make it my home, and I really hope you to do, because I would love for our kids to be friends.
And now that Barrett is looking to move SO CAL bound, this situation could seriously be perfect.
I know this might seem a bit strange, but I really wanted to address it with you. I also had a revelation over the last week. I have been toying with the idea - but believe I worked out the details in my mind on my life plan for the next 5 years. I will shoot an email off soon to the family.
Love you lady!
All the best,
Bryce
Hey Bryce,
Thanks for the e-mail. Strange you had that dream. We may be a tad more connected than imaginable…
Though I can assure you I have zero plans of moving back to MI, I’ve had weird and deep feelings of being homesick. However, it’s not “home” that I am really missing but rather what home used to be. I’ve never been very good at goodbyes and letting things go. I’d rather brush the issues aside and pretend the feelings that go with them aren’t there. That tactic has gotten me through a lot growing up! Though, it always has a way of catching up with me.
In my first year of college I struggled with the thought of growing distant from my high school friends. But I soon realized my college memories and friends were far more deeper than I could have ever imagined. It was a new chapter in life, with a deeper meaning than high school. So the ties were much stronger. But in the back of my mind I knew that all good things do eventually come to an end. When I moved here I said my goodbyes, or more like “see ya later’s” and knew that though I was ecstatic with this new chapter in my life, the pain of leaving those bonds was going to catch up to me.
I do miss MI sometimes but know that if I were to ever return it would never be the same. The late nights, parties, drunken talks and bonds would not be there anymore. Just like I have changed my life, those friends are as well. When I catch up with them and hear how their lives have evolved into getting married, buying homes and starting families I know that’s not where I am meant to be. At least right now. All of that is wonderful for them, however it is SO not for me. It may be bold of me or even a tad arrogant but I have always felt in my heart that I was going to amount to something much more than Michigan could ever give me. If I were to have stayed I would have drowned.
I look around at my life right now and sometimes wonder “how the hell did I get here!?!?!” Lol…but I also hold on to a phrase that I feel is much deeper than this bullshit, “one day this will all be worth it.” I am struggling a hell of a lot more than my friends and I easily could have stayed at home and choose to be comfortable like them. But let’s face it, that’s just not how I roll. I know what I am going through now will only make me a stronger person and will truly make me feel fortunate for the fortune I am going to build with my own two hands. Now my only problem is I need to find out just exactly how and what I plan to build lol. I figure I can’t be too far behind because I at least made the choice to build lol.
Just like college was a deeper chapter than high school, so is this one I’ve opened. I’m kinda just working through some personal struggles till you all get out here. You know, working some kinks out. I was truly blessed to be able to share some memories with just you in my first few months out here. Something I will forever hold dear to my heart and be so thankful for you. We’ve had some kick ass times I will never forget that made us so much closer.
I really do look forward to our family having ones of their own and bringing them together to be a part of what mom has instilled in all three of us: that family is the most important thing you will ever have in this world. I’ve always known, but have really seen now, that when the rest of the world turns its back on you, your family will always be there. No matter what.
So. In a looooong way of answering your e-mail, NO I am not leaving this place because where you and Barrett are is where my family is, and well mom too bust she’s so indecisive that where ever we 3 end up she will follow Our children (though far into the future) will be the kind of cousins that people could possibly mistake for siblings. That is how close we have always been, and that is how close I see them being.
I love you dearly and I’ll be here whenever you decide to come home. Because that’s what SoCal is to me now, home sweet home.
Hey Lady,
I had a weird dream that you wanted to go back to MI. While I am following my own passions, I do feel a little guilty that I left within 9 months of you coming to CA. honestly, those were some of the best times I have had in CA. we have always been close, but I feel that really added to our relationship. I have also followed my heart and instinct (leaving MI behind to head to CA as an example). But while it didn’t hold me back, it bothered me that I was missing out being around you, Barrett and Mom.
I know we have talked about this before, and if you ever decided to move somewhere else I will always support you 100% but my biggest fear is that I return and you have left or in the process of leaving. I love OC, CA and want to make it my home, and I really hope you to do, because I would love for our kids to be friends.
And now that Barrett is looking to move SO CAL bound, this situation could seriously be perfect.
I know this might seem a bit strange, but I really wanted to address it with you. I also had a revelation over the last week. I have been toying with the idea - but believe I worked out the details in my mind on my life plan for the next 5 years. I will shoot an email off soon to the family.
Love you lady!
All the best,
Bryce
Hey Bryce,
Thanks for the e-mail. Strange you had that dream. We may be a tad more connected than imaginable…
Though I can assure you I have zero plans of moving back to MI, I’ve had weird and deep feelings of being homesick. However, it’s not “home” that I am really missing but rather what home used to be. I’ve never been very good at goodbyes and letting things go. I’d rather brush the issues aside and pretend the feelings that go with them aren’t there. That tactic has gotten me through a lot growing up! Though, it always has a way of catching up with me.
In my first year of college I struggled with the thought of growing distant from my high school friends. But I soon realized my college memories and friends were far more deeper than I could have ever imagined. It was a new chapter in life, with a deeper meaning than high school. So the ties were much stronger. But in the back of my mind I knew that all good things do eventually come to an end. When I moved here I said my goodbyes, or more like “see ya later’s” and knew that though I was ecstatic with this new chapter in my life, the pain of leaving those bonds was going to catch up to me.
I do miss MI sometimes but know that if I were to ever return it would never be the same. The late nights, parties, drunken talks and bonds would not be there anymore. Just like I have changed my life, those friends are as well. When I catch up with them and hear how their lives have evolved into getting married, buying homes and starting families I know that’s not where I am meant to be. At least right now. All of that is wonderful for them, however it is SO not for me. It may be bold of me or even a tad arrogant but I have always felt in my heart that I was going to amount to something much more than Michigan could ever give me. If I were to have stayed I would have drowned.
I look around at my life right now and sometimes wonder “how the hell did I get here!?!?!” Lol…but I also hold on to a phrase that I feel is much deeper than this bullshit, “one day this will all be worth it.” I am struggling a hell of a lot more than my friends and I easily could have stayed at home and choose to be comfortable like them. But let’s face it, that’s just not how I roll. I know what I am going through now will only make me a stronger person and will truly make me feel fortunate for the fortune I am going to build with my own two hands. Now my only problem is I need to find out just exactly how and what I plan to build lol. I figure I can’t be too far behind because I at least made the choice to build lol.
Just like college was a deeper chapter than high school, so is this one I’ve opened. I’m kinda just working through some personal struggles till you all get out here. You know, working some kinks out. I was truly blessed to be able to share some memories with just you in my first few months out here. Something I will forever hold dear to my heart and be so thankful for you. We’ve had some kick ass times I will never forget that made us so much closer.
I really do look forward to our family having ones of their own and bringing them together to be a part of what mom has instilled in all three of us: that family is the most important thing you will ever have in this world. I’ve always known, but have really seen now, that when the rest of the world turns its back on you, your family will always be there. No matter what.
So. In a looooong way of answering your e-mail, NO I am not leaving this place because where you and Barrett are is where my family is, and well mom too bust she’s so indecisive that where ever we 3 end up she will follow Our children (though far into the future) will be the kind of cousins that people could possibly mistake for siblings. That is how close we have always been, and that is how close I see them being.
I love you dearly and I’ll be here whenever you decide to come home. Because that’s what SoCal is to me now, home sweet home.