(no subject)
things are so much different now. its hard to believe school will be ending in only 5 months. there not just ending until next semester...there ending for good. high school is soon over. some of my best memories will forever be embedded, in my mind. and some of the worst. its hard to think about the future and whats to become of us all. will we keep the same friends? boyfriends? personalities? priorities? dreams? or will they all diminish like our adolescents. i've made some pretty sweet friends since freshman year. and lost some pretty sweet ones too. a selected few have help shape me and who i am. my personality, goals, and dreams. for that i thank you. but there are a few who have caused me to question weither or not life is all its cracked up to be? one of my favorite quotes is "you have to put up with the rain before you get to the rainbow." if you asked me right now, id say i am in a flood and have been for quite some time. i'm still waiting for the good part in life to just kick in first gear and get me out of this pit i've been stuck in. frankly i cant wait till i die, cuz there are so many questions i want to ask God. answers that i believe i have the right to know. i've watched so many of my friends experience bad shit and i can only ask myself, "why? why them?" why is our world so fucked up? everyone says that money doesnt buy happiness but if you ask me, it seems to make a hell of a lot of people smile.
now i know i am no saint, i'm not saying i am so please dont think thats what i am doing. but why do people feel the need to lie? i just dont get it. do they not realize their just getting themselves in deep shit? just be honest. maybe if people we're honest with each other more, then trust wouldnt be so difficult.
i just dont want to look back on my high school years and regret over half of the things i have done. sure i do regret a few things but who doesnt? starting with this up coming semester, i'm not going to give a shit what people think about me. dork or no dork. i'm me. i will do what i want, when i want to. and if you dont like that....then bitch about it to someone who gives a fuck. because i can tell you straight up....your opinion of me....means nothing....
night ya'll
*so come clean. no one should have to live with the things you've seen, but you're living anyway. well, i stop the car and i put her in park and i step outside (god, i hate this part). what i see, what i saw what i thought was a life that was more than a chore. i'm just doing what i need to get by. i don't care if you leave or stay, but you might as well split 'cause it's not the same as it was when we said our last goodbye, and if you want the truth, i was hoping one of us would pass away, 'cause it'd be much easier then. we could all get together and think about when we were young. we were dumb. we were numb, but in love, and i'm done, so i'm sending out this letter today. i'm trying and i'm trying and i'm trying and i'm trying to let go, but everybody's going down tonight.*
now i know i am no saint, i'm not saying i am so please dont think thats what i am doing. but why do people feel the need to lie? i just dont get it. do they not realize their just getting themselves in deep shit? just be honest. maybe if people we're honest with each other more, then trust wouldnt be so difficult.
i just dont want to look back on my high school years and regret over half of the things i have done. sure i do regret a few things but who doesnt? starting with this up coming semester, i'm not going to give a shit what people think about me. dork or no dork. i'm me. i will do what i want, when i want to. and if you dont like that....then bitch about it to someone who gives a fuck. because i can tell you straight up....your opinion of me....means nothing....
night ya'll
*so come clean. no one should have to live with the things you've seen, but you're living anyway. well, i stop the car and i put her in park and i step outside (god, i hate this part). what i see, what i saw what i thought was a life that was more than a chore. i'm just doing what i need to get by. i don't care if you leave or stay, but you might as well split 'cause it's not the same as it was when we said our last goodbye, and if you want the truth, i was hoping one of us would pass away, 'cause it'd be much easier then. we could all get together and think about when we were young. we were dumb. we were numb, but in love, and i'm done, so i'm sending out this letter today. i'm trying and i'm trying and i'm trying and i'm trying to let go, but everybody's going down tonight.*