(no subject)
soo.. things are complicted very complicated
i know what i need to do.. i really do.. but i have no desire to do it.. i know its bad... its hard tho right now...ya know? i guess i kinda think if i dont know for sure.. than i can just go on acting like everythigns okay...and maybe just maybe it will all go away.... i mean i seem okay to everyone right? and i have this all on my brain 24/7.... soo maybe it works the same way....idk..but i know what i need to do.. and i will do it... i hate that it happened this way.. its not supposed to be like this. i always imagined myself smarter than that... than waht i did... its crazy... not right.. but its my fault..well maybe not all my fault cuz i could have prevented it.. but i was sooo idk.. otu of it? infatuated? everytime i was stupid.. but is it really my fault? yeah i can blame him.. b/c IF its true than theres no reason he shouldnt have told me? can someone really be that much of an asshole?and be THAT good at it? Why would he go outta his way like that? did it ever mean anything? its crazy how much it meant to me and how much that if its all true that it didn't mean to him...
ppl suck....he continues to dick me over w/out he speaking to me... man--- he's good...
maybe its not all true... maybe everything really is ok!
maybe im alittle bit over my head i come undone at the things he said & hes so funny in his bright red shirt we're all in love & we all got hurt i sneak into his car's cracked leather seat the smell of gasoline in the summer heat boy we're going way too fast, its all too sweet to last its alright & i put myself in his hands but i hold on to ur secrets in white houses love, or something ignites in my veins & i pray it never fades in white houses my 1st time, hard to explain rush of blood & alittle bit of pain on a cloudy day, its more common than u think, hes my first mistake
i know what i need to do.. i really do.. but i have no desire to do it.. i know its bad... its hard tho right now...ya know? i guess i kinda think if i dont know for sure.. than i can just go on acting like everythigns okay...and maybe just maybe it will all go away.... i mean i seem okay to everyone right? and i have this all on my brain 24/7.... soo maybe it works the same way....idk..but i know what i need to do.. and i will do it... i hate that it happened this way.. its not supposed to be like this. i always imagined myself smarter than that... than waht i did... its crazy... not right.. but its my fault..well maybe not all my fault cuz i could have prevented it.. but i was sooo idk.. otu of it? infatuated? everytime i was stupid.. but is it really my fault? yeah i can blame him.. b/c IF its true than theres no reason he shouldnt have told me? can someone really be that much of an asshole?and be THAT good at it? Why would he go outta his way like that? did it ever mean anything? its crazy how much it meant to me and how much that if its all true that it didn't mean to him...
ppl suck....he continues to dick me over w/out he speaking to me... man--- he's good...
maybe its not all true... maybe everything really is ok!
maybe im alittle bit over my head i come undone at the things he said & hes so funny in his bright red shirt we're all in love & we all got hurt i sneak into his car's cracked leather seat the smell of gasoline in the summer heat boy we're going way too fast, its all too sweet to last its alright & i put myself in his hands but i hold on to ur secrets in white houses love, or something ignites in my veins & i pray it never fades in white houses my 1st time, hard to explain rush of blood & alittle bit of pain on a cloudy day, its more common than u think, hes my first mistake