happy new years

Jan 01, 2005 04:59

I can’t believe it’s 2005. This year went so unbelievably fast.

Christmas was great this year. We had the whole family at our house in the evening for dinner and presents. Little Emma and Will are so big now. Santa was good to me. I didn’t really need anything this year, or even want anything so I asked for things for my future apartment. I got a really nice dinnerware set, cookware set, Charlie got me these really nice wine glasses with a yummy bottle of white wine, my mom got me these awesome martini glasses. I figure collect little things here and there and when I’m ready to move I’ll be all set. I was talking to Erin who did the same thing and she said it worked out great, but now I’m all excited to move. I also got some perfume, delta sonic tickets for my car which I needed badly, and this really nice oak bookcase so I finally have a place to store all my textbooks. My parents also gave me $150 to do whatever I wanted with, to get something I REALLY wanted but I have no idea what I’m gonna use it for. Maybe save it up for a rainy day. I talked to Aunt Barb and Deanna, Aunt Barb was at Eric’s and Dean was with Tyrone. I guess he’s doing really well in Michigan with football and all, he’s gonna be starting next year he told me. Dean might come up in the summer with Uncle Bob, I hope she does.

I’ve been hanging out with Trish a lot. Usually after work I head over to Payne’s bar and she hooks me up with some fancy girly drinks. I don’t know what they are but there brightly colored have little umbrellas in them and fuck me up fast. She got an apartment on 5th ave., it’s pretty nice. We watched Napoleon Dynamite the other day, soooo disappointing, all the funny parts were in the commercials.

I hung out with Rachel on Thursday. We went to the big gulf dome, I realized I’m not that good a golfer, we gave up and played put-putt and I realized I’m an even worse at putting. Afterwards we went and saw the movie Spanglish…it was so cute. Her mom is trying to hook me up with this job at Tonawanda Pediatrics. She knows the head nurse and said there always look for help, even if its volunteer work, some experience is better then nothing.

New Years Eve was sooooooo great. After I got off the phone with Ingy I met Trisha at Payne’s and we went downtown to drink away 2004, it was so fun. We were all over the place I can’t even remember all the bars and clubs we went to. Now that I’m old enough Buffalo is finally fun. We just made it inside this one little bar to see the ball drop, good times. I got home around 3ish, just enough time to get a few hours of sleep then wake up early and get ready for the new years party at the house. Mom is making shrimp and Lobster…..I can smell it now. I know it sounds really cruel but it reminds me of the time I went over Jacobs apartment and him and his roommates were cooking live lobsters and when they through them into the boiling water they made this awful hissing noise, I felt so bad for the poor lobsters but I’ve never had one that tasted so good.

Looking back at 2004, I’m glad it’s over; it was such a roller coaster, so many ups and downs. I for one am thankful it’s over. It started off great, going back to Florida, and it was the second semester when I got really close to Kerri, Inky, and Tera. I had my best GPA at USF, 3.6, I was having the best time with Deanna and Aunt Barb, finally signed a lease for my OWN apartment, the most amazingly perfect apartment, going to the beach almost every weekend, who could ask for better? Everything climaxed at the beginning of the year and slowly started going down hill. I found out that my mom had cancer. You never think about it, then all of a sudden, BOOM, there it is, cancer. I remember when I found out, I think I cried for like a week straight, then sucked it up and kept it bottled up and went into a mini isolation. I have this little burden on my shoulder, I wasn’t even there for my mother, I was thousands of miles away when everything was happening. I couldn’t help her, I wasn’t there when she went into surgery, I wasn’t there for her after the surgery, I wasn’t there for the chemotherapy, I wasn’t there to ease her pain when she suffered physically or emotionally. I know my mother is strong, and I hold more respect for her now then I ever have but I wasn’t there when she needed me.

From there I found out that I would be accepted into the USF Nursing program but because it’s so hard to get into there was this wait list and it would take me 2 years before I would even be able to start my clinicals. I was done with me prerequisites what was I suppose to do for 2 yrs? I applied to UB got accepted but the same situation, 2 yr wait. Applied to D’Youville and they accepted me right away. It was great, that’s were my Aunt graduated from and it has such a great rep for its medical programs. Little did I know it’s gonna be the hardest semester I have ever had. Its curriculum totally surpasses UB and USF. It’s so intense and serious and hard. I’m not lying when I said I had almost no life last semester. I’m still not even sure if I passed Microbiology. I just keep on telling myself it’s all going to pay off in the end. I was talking to Sue, she went to Buff State her freshman and sophomore year for Biology, “A’s” in all her Bio classes, just transferred to D’Youville last year, they wouldn’t accept any of her credits and she’s barely pulling a “B” in her BIO 101 course. She said she couldn’t believe the differences in the two colleges, but it just takes about a semester before you get use to it’s intensity, god I hope she’s right, if not I’m going to burn out by the time I graduate. I EVEN have homework over this break. My Nursing 230 class assigned like 7 chapter I have to read before classes start because were gonna have a quiz the first day, I can’t even enjoy and relax in my break. I did however get my stethoscope and BP Cuff and all kinds of other fun stuff to start my clinicals off next year. I’ve said it before, it’s the little things like this that make all the hard stuff worth it. Enough about school, I’m getting edgy just talking about it.

From there my mom had a relapse with her cancer and had to go back for some more chemo. This I was home for, and just this little bit just killed me. I couldn’t imagine being home when the main diagnoses happened. One again I had no idea how to handle the stress, felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone and just isolated myself for like a month or 2. On top of that the family found out that my grandma has come down with the beginning stages of altimeters disease. It’s so had to see the people you love suffer and you can’t do ANYTHING to help. It makes me want to peruse my career goals even more so I can help people and their families who can’t help themselves.

Now that 2005 has arrived I have this feeling that it’s going to be an amazing year. My resolution is going to be better myself overall. With the stress this year I’ve gain a lot of weight so I’m going to get back into the gym and get healthy again. I know I say that every year but this year it’s for real, with all the illness around me it makes me realize I need to take a lot better care of myself. I’m also going to try and be a better person on the inside. Be more caring and kind, not take things to personally, to help out where I can. I want to make 2005 an amazing year.
Previous post Next post
Up
[]