rules of being southern
1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hrs a day, so let them cook something they know.
2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, Mari Beth and Inez have all been known to whip a man's all for less than that.
3. Don't order a 'bottle of pop' or 'a can of soda'-- this can lead to a merciless beating. Down South it's called Coke, even if you want Pepsi.
4. Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC team. All others are a bunch of candy asses that get to play Wyoming every week.
5. Don't refer to Southerner's as a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are/have been more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated, and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense(e.g.Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV and Netscape). Naturally, we can have lapses in judgement(e.g. Clinton,Fordice,Duke). We don't care if you think we're dumb, we know better!
6. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your bitching, spend your money and leave.
7. Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. If you do this everyone will know your from Ohio. Eat the biscuits like God intended you and for goodness sake, don't put sugar on your grits!
8. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will incite a riot faster.
9. Don't go around talking about how much nicer it is back home. If you don't like it here, take your Yankee ass back home.
10. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those sissy ass northern games, so don't ask about the scores.
We...Simply...Don't...Care.
11. We know how to speak proper English, we talk this way because we want to and we can. It's like playing jazz, you have to know how to do it right first.
12. Last, but by no means least....DO NOT try to tell us how to Bar-B-Q. This could lead to permanent explosion and revocation of your work visa. Consider yourself just damn lucky we let you come down here in the first place. Don't push your luck
2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, Mari Beth and Inez have all been known to whip a man's all for less than that.
3. Don't order a 'bottle of pop' or 'a can of soda'-- this can lead to a merciless beating. Down South it's called Coke, even if you want Pepsi.
4. Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC team. All others are a bunch of candy asses that get to play Wyoming every week.
5. Don't refer to Southerner's as a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are/have been more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated, and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense(e.g.Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV and Netscape). Naturally, we can have lapses in judgement(e.g. Clinton,Fordice,Duke). We don't care if you think we're dumb, we know better!
6. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your bitching, spend your money and leave.
7. Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. If you do this everyone will know your from Ohio. Eat the biscuits like God intended you and for goodness sake, don't put sugar on your grits!
8. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will incite a riot faster.
9. Don't go around talking about how much nicer it is back home. If you don't like it here, take your Yankee ass back home.
10. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those sissy ass northern games, so don't ask about the scores.
We...Simply...Don't...Care.
11. We know how to speak proper English, we talk this way because we want to and we can. It's like playing jazz, you have to know how to do it right first.
12. Last, but by no means least....DO NOT try to tell us how to Bar-B-Q. This could lead to permanent explosion and revocation of your work visa. Consider yourself just damn lucky we let you come down here in the first place. Don't push your luck