(no subject)
well, we didn't see the movie, "The Saddest Music in the World" last night like I thought we would. I was hoping we'd get to it tonight, but it's not looking like we'll make an early enough showing.. Unless he decides to call me in the next 5 minutes.. and even then, I doubt it. So maybe sometime this week.. I hope we do, because it has gotten a lot of good response.
today is the one month mark for robbie and I. It feels like it's been so much longer... The day we met it was like we'd known each other for years, and it's been that way ever since. One month seems like such a short time.. One thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is the whole "I love you" thing. I don't want to make a big deal out of it... but I am. We haven't said it yet, and that's good. I think I love him.. but I want to be sure. I don't want to say it just because I'm getting caught up in all these emotions. I know it's not supposed to be a supremely emotional thing.. But that doesn't make it easier for me to not say it. I started this whole thing about a week ago.. arguing with myself about whether I do or not. Obviously I won't even consider talking to him about it until I can't argue with myself anymore.. until I can't deny it. I can deny it now, because I know it's mostly emotions that are making me think this way. Who can blame me though? I met someone who really is everything I've always wanted.. and we've connected so well. And I'm thankful that he isn't rushing to say he loves me either.. He has my best interest in mind, not his. He's not doing everything he can to keep me around... He's not trying make me emotionally attached to him.. Yet somehow I'm growing more and more in that direction.. I guess it's just natural.
One thing I hate that I'm doing is constantly waiting for him to call me.. I'm doing it right now actually. It drives me nuts.. I don't want to.. but I just do. He told me he'd call me sometime early evening.. which right now is about early evening, and it's making me crazy waiting on him. I never get on to him if he doesn't call when he said would, or anything like that. I don't nag him about it... but I think about it all the time and drive myself nuts. It's like I want to have control, but I know that I can't.. and I don't think I ever would actually try to take control.. I'm considering talking to him about it.. just to let him know that I struggle with it, and i want him to stop me if I ever actually act on those impulses. I don't want to be in control of him.. I don't want our relationship to ever develop into that.. Yet I'm scared to bring it up, because I don't want to scare him away... But if I don't let him know how I've been thinking, and I slowly start manipulating him, I'll ruin it for good, and I don't want that.
GAH. I hate how my brain works sometimes.
today is the one month mark for robbie and I. It feels like it's been so much longer... The day we met it was like we'd known each other for years, and it's been that way ever since. One month seems like such a short time.. One thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is the whole "I love you" thing. I don't want to make a big deal out of it... but I am. We haven't said it yet, and that's good. I think I love him.. but I want to be sure. I don't want to say it just because I'm getting caught up in all these emotions. I know it's not supposed to be a supremely emotional thing.. But that doesn't make it easier for me to not say it. I started this whole thing about a week ago.. arguing with myself about whether I do or not. Obviously I won't even consider talking to him about it until I can't argue with myself anymore.. until I can't deny it. I can deny it now, because I know it's mostly emotions that are making me think this way. Who can blame me though? I met someone who really is everything I've always wanted.. and we've connected so well. And I'm thankful that he isn't rushing to say he loves me either.. He has my best interest in mind, not his. He's not doing everything he can to keep me around... He's not trying make me emotionally attached to him.. Yet somehow I'm growing more and more in that direction.. I guess it's just natural.
One thing I hate that I'm doing is constantly waiting for him to call me.. I'm doing it right now actually. It drives me nuts.. I don't want to.. but I just do. He told me he'd call me sometime early evening.. which right now is about early evening, and it's making me crazy waiting on him. I never get on to him if he doesn't call when he said would, or anything like that. I don't nag him about it... but I think about it all the time and drive myself nuts. It's like I want to have control, but I know that I can't.. and I don't think I ever would actually try to take control.. I'm considering talking to him about it.. just to let him know that I struggle with it, and i want him to stop me if I ever actually act on those impulses. I don't want to be in control of him.. I don't want our relationship to ever develop into that.. Yet I'm scared to bring it up, because I don't want to scare him away... But if I don't let him know how I've been thinking, and I slowly start manipulating him, I'll ruin it for good, and I don't want that.
GAH. I hate how my brain works sometimes.