Yay! Cloudy has a cool new picture!!!
Ok so tried fiddling about cloud photos with Paintshop Pro to make a new userpic for cloudy and just made a mess of things, so I imported a photo of my tattoo to paint and spent a while removing reflections and evening out the colours, then decided to invert it to see what happened...and i got what looked like clouds!!! So I am very happy! I hope he would like it.
Been thinking a lot about him while im here, and im going to do a few things for him next week. A bit nervous and in two minds about it but we will see. It might be a load of rubbish what im going to do, but I dont care, I need to do something and stop feeling so heartsick all the time. Its been very difficult here on placement, I tend to think about him first thing when I wake up and at the end of the day when I try to sleep. So not only am I tired from poor sleep and crazy nightmares which then haunt me during the day, I get in early to work as I know I will be in no state to see anyone and need to have some time to settle myself before people arrive. And of course I cant tell anyone why my head is never with the work, as they will think it is a lame excuse/or think im wierd and not understand. So I just pretend everything is ok now and that Im just incredibly stupid, I would rather have them think im dippy instead of them not understanding as that may make things awkward. Just how long does it have to feel this bad? and Why do I feel I deserve/should feel like this forever? I just wish it were possible to talk to animals, I mean we did 'talk' to each other we had a the highest level of communication that I think is possible for a human and cat to have, but it may have cleared up some of the things I still think about.
I am starting to be able to listen to some music again, but I have to be careful what I listen too or it messes everything up again. That was my life and all I ever needed, Cloudy and Music, and I feel a bit lost and confused without either, I just hope he knows how much he means to me.
Love you cat.
x
Been thinking a lot about him while im here, and im going to do a few things for him next week. A bit nervous and in two minds about it but we will see. It might be a load of rubbish what im going to do, but I dont care, I need to do something and stop feeling so heartsick all the time. Its been very difficult here on placement, I tend to think about him first thing when I wake up and at the end of the day when I try to sleep. So not only am I tired from poor sleep and crazy nightmares which then haunt me during the day, I get in early to work as I know I will be in no state to see anyone and need to have some time to settle myself before people arrive. And of course I cant tell anyone why my head is never with the work, as they will think it is a lame excuse/or think im wierd and not understand. So I just pretend everything is ok now and that Im just incredibly stupid, I would rather have them think im dippy instead of them not understanding as that may make things awkward. Just how long does it have to feel this bad? and Why do I feel I deserve/should feel like this forever? I just wish it were possible to talk to animals, I mean we did 'talk' to each other we had a the highest level of communication that I think is possible for a human and cat to have, but it may have cleared up some of the things I still think about.
I am starting to be able to listen to some music again, but I have to be careful what I listen too or it messes everything up again. That was my life and all I ever needed, Cloudy and Music, and I feel a bit lost and confused without either, I just hope he knows how much he means to me.
Love you cat.
x