Maelstrom, Part II
Everyone was in bed relatively early that night, the persistent noise of the rain making the children sleepy after dinner. Ginny read from the biography of some female Quidditch star she admired and Harry leaned beside her in bed, staring at the morning edition of the Quibbler, his eyes unfocused as he thought about Teddy curled up in bed, his stomach growling. Perhaps he would get up in the middle of the night and have a bite of the leftover pizza. Or perhaps he would get up in the middle of the night for some other reason entirely.
"Albus was asking me for a Cheering Charm after dinner," Ginny said, her book still open in her lap and her eyes cast down to its pages.
"If you keep giving him those every time he asks the effect will be completely dulled and he'll become one of those addicts --"
"Did I say I gave him one?" Ginny snapped, her voice rising.
"You didn't?" Harry asked, stunned. He couldn't remember the last time Ginny had denied Albus anything. She frowned and shut her book.
"Well, what was I supposed to do?" she asked. "Allow him to be miserable?"
"Why should he be miserable? He's got food and shelter and a family who loves him --"
Ginny scoffed. "You fail to see the point of everything, Harry, literally everything. I suppose it was your upbringing."
The temperature in the room seemed to drop, and Harry threw the Quibbler aside.
"Yes," he said tightly. "I suppose it is my upbringing that makes me wonder how my children turned out to be so ungrateful for everything they've been handed."
"They're perfectly normal teenagers!" Ginny said, whispering sharply now, as if someone was outside the door, listening. "You wouldn't know anything about that, so I wonder at how you feel so qualified to judge them."
"You're right. Considering all I've been through, I should just sit back and refrain from having any opinions on normal things." Harry wanted to storm away, but where would he go? If he Apparated back to London to spend the night at the family house alone, things would be worse when he returned, and he would have to return eventually, of course.
He rolled over and smashed his eyes shut. Ginny tutted as if this was typical, and soon she was setting her book aside and whispering a spell to put out the lights. Harry cracked his eyes open as she settled violently into place on the other side of their large bed, punching her pillow twice. Outside, the rain continued to fall.
Harry lay awake and listened for the familiar sounds of Ginny's breath quieting and going steady with sleep. The Weasleys all possessed this ability to fall asleep immediately, no matter what sort of anarchy was going on in the household around them. He tried to imagine what it would be like if they did have their marriage Undone. The children would hate him and the wizarding world would go wild with glee at the opportunity to remark on his ability to make grave personal mistakes after all. The family he had always wanted would dissipate, and he would have to get a little flat in London, where he would live alone, as in a broom closet.
After he had been in bed for what might have been several hours or several minutes, Harry went tense at the sound of movement on the second floor. The door to the porch opened and shut. Harry's heart began to race as he imagined Teddy performing the same ritual he had the night before: pushing the trousers down impatiently and bringing himself off with the scent of Harry's shirt to fuel his fantasies. In the kitchen Harry had been certain that something tangible was passing between him and Teddy, some exchange of understanding, but perhaps he was only a twisted old man projecting his long-ignored desires onto poor Teddy. But Teddy was hardly a child; he was a man of twenty-five, and if Harry's actions the night before had made him uncomfortable he could leave any time he liked and return to his life in London, where he lived alone in a flat, as in a broom closet. Harry threw the blankets away and got out of bed.
He looked back at Ginny; she hadn't stirred. Moving with careful determination and not pausing to really think things through, he knelt down and reached under the bed to find his Invisibility Cloak. When he couldn't find it, he ducked down to search, but as his eyes adjusted to the washed-out moonlight, he realised it was gone. His breath hitched, but he tried not to panic. Perhaps Ginny had found it and returned it to the bureau. He couldn't risk an Accio Cloak or waking Ginny to ask if she'd seen it, so he simply Apparated out to the porch outside of their bedroom without it. Once there, he listened for noises below. There was nothing. Perhaps he'd only imagined or dreamed hearing the door.
When he turned and looked through the glass doors that led back to the bedroom, he couldn't imagine returning, getting back into bed with Ginny and trying in vain to sleep. He was overcome with a deep sadness that made him feel inert and heavy, as if both his feet weighed several tons each. In lieu of walking, he Apparated. He'd halfway meant to Apparate only to the second floor living area, but he found himself on the porch instead. It had never happened to him before, but he had heard about this phenomenon. Semi-unconscious Apparation. Maybe he could blame the wine.
The second floor porch was dark and empty. Harry sighed and stared at the couch where he'd seen Teddy the night before. Already it seemed like only a dream, and Harry thought about sitting on the couch, casting a proper Concealing Charm and having a wank himself, but his cock was as soft and uninspired as ever, because he was disappointed. He was disappointed not to again find Teddy with his pants down and his legs spread, breathing under the dark sky of Harry's shirt. Even the memory was no longer good enough to make his body spark suddenly back to life.
“Come down here to spy on me again?”
Harry gasped and whirled around, but he saw no one standing behind him, though he'd recognised Teddy's voice. He spun in circles, surveying the dark room, but he saw nothing. He could hear Teddy laughing, closer now. Harry shut his eyes. The Invisibility Cloak, of course.
“I heard something,” Harry said, stammering. “I thought it might be a prowler.”
“I'm sure.”
“Will you take my Cloak off, please? I don't appreciate you using it without asking.”
“I don't appreciate you coming round to watch every time I have a wank.”
“Keep your voice down!”
Teddy laughed again, and it sent chills through Harry. He wasn't dealing with a helpless child here; Teddy was perfectly capable of blackmail, among other things.
“What exactly is your game?” Harry asked, frowning and turning again, though Teddy still wouldn't appear.
“My game? Try and find me. I'll stand in one place.”
“This is absurd.”
“You're absurd, watching me like some common - I suppose you think that just because I had your shirt you had the right -”
“I didn't think - I don't even know what you're talking about!”
Harry found one of Teddy's invisible shoulders, and then the other. He gripped them tightly, appreciating the feeling of the Cloak's fabric; it was slippery and silky and sexy, really, a thing that evaded a person's grip after teasing through it. Teddy reached up and pulled the hood of the Cloak back so that only his head and neck were visible. He was smiling, but his lips were shaking.
“You have disappointed me more than anyone else in my entire life,” Teddy said, staring at Harry without blinking, the imitation of a smile still on his face. “More than even the dead ones.”
“I'm so sorry,” Harry said, barely able to speak. Never had anyone said something so devastating to him with such placid conviction. “Of anybody - you - least of all did I want to disappoint you.”
"Least of all me?" Teddy frowned as if Harry had insulted him. "Why least of all me?"
"Because you were alone. Well, you had your grandmother, but you seemed, to me, so similar to myself when I was a boy. So similarly lost. And I could have related to you, I could have been more, I don't know. Attentive."
Teddy snorted and pulled the Cloak's hood back up over his head. He stepped out of Harry's grip and Harry heard him pacing around him in circles. Harry stood still, feeling as if he was waiting to be judged by some invisible force.
"I had my grandmother, yes," Teddy said. "More than you had, until you finished school, and then you had everything."
"It still hurts," Harry said. "What happened to me."
"What happened to you? What are you talking about?"
"With the Dursleys. My aunt and uncle."
"What did they do to you exactly?" Teddy asked, some of the venom leaking from his voice. "I've heard all sorts of rumours." He stopped pacing and pulled the hood back again. His face was different now, calmer, as if the Cloak itself had transformed it.
"Nothing." Harry's heart raced. He hated to talk about it and had disclosed the details of the Dursley's abuse to no one, though of course Ron and Hermione had mentioned things to people, so a few of the stories were known. Harry neither confirmed nor denied any of it.
"Nothing?" Teddy said. "Well, of course it was something. Did they hit you?"
Harry was determined not to answer, but then he did anyway.
"Sometimes," he said. "Not usually. It was usually more that they dragged me or pushed me. You know. To get me into the cupboard."
He'd never said any of this out loud. He felt lightheaded and thought about sitting on the sofa, but he couldn't seem to move. Teddy's eyes were wide and sympathetic, two moons shining in the dark room. Harry realised that they were nearly the colour of the Cloak's material when it was visible.
"My gran got into bed with me once," Teddy said in a rush. Harry's blood froze, and for a moment he couldn't find his voice.
"Oh, Teddy," Harry said, aching for him. "She didn't --?"
"No," Teddy said. "She didn't want anything like that from me. She wanted me to be her dead husband, but she just wanted to lay her head on my shoulder and clutch at me and tell me about her day. You know she went mad before she died. I think she might have even died from it, the madness. The grief."
Harry shut his eyes and thought about Teddy as a teenager, how he had changed so dramatically around age fourteen, when he started having illicit romances at school and lost interest in his coursework. Harry should have known. He should have been paying attention. There were little mentions from Teddy, even earlier, about Andromeda's slip-ups, the way she would call him Ted as if she wanted to forget, for a moment, which Ted she was talking to. Harry remembered squeezing Teddy's shoulder and telling him that Andromeda was just getting old. -
He'd had no idea it had been this bad, but now it was clear that Teddy had wanted him to inquire further. To care.
He walked toward Teddy, but Teddy pulled the hood up over his head again and stepped away. Harry listened as he walked to the other side of the porch.
"At her funeral," Harry said. "You were so upset. We couldn't understand -- we didn't know -- why you'd seemed so resentful of her in the years before her death. And then, you were sobbing so hard --"
"I was relieved," Teddy said. His voice was far away and uneven. "I was crying from relief. I loved her so much, she raised me. But she went, she went - and I couldn't tell anyone, I couldn't have her locked up in some horrible hospital for the unstable. When she finally died, oh, God. I was glad."
Harry crossed the porch and searched for Teddy, his arms out in front of him. He found one of his shoulders, but Teddy ducked away.
"I should have known," Harry said. "If only I'd come to call more often -- you were always coming to our house, we hardly ever saw Andromeda."
"It doesn't matter now," Teddy said. He was close. Harry reached out and felt the slippery material of the Cloak, hanging at Teddy's side.
"It does," Harry said. "It does. Teddy, I know. I know what it's like to be so alone, to not even want to tell anyone how bad it really is, to not want anyone to know, to be embarrassed though it isn't, wasn't your fault -- it never leaves you."
Teddy was silent, and Harry could guess that it was because he didn't want Harry to hear the shake in his voice. Harry closed his hand around Teddy's side and pulled him closer, and then fully into his arms. It was odd, hugging someone invisible, but he could smell Teddy's sleep-ripened skin mixed with the familiar scent of the Cloak, which was his own. He thought about Teddy wanting to be wrapped in the Cloak, in the smell of Harry, and let go of him. He felt horrible for what had transpired the night before. Teddy needed a friend and a confidante, a godfather who would cherish and protect him, not a lech who would project selfish desires onto him the way his grandmother had in her madness.
"Don't," Teddy said. He wasn't quite crying, but the threat of tears textured his voice.
"Don't what?" Harry asked, guilt crashing against him again. He had truly failed Teddy, and what he had done the night before was unconscionable.
Teddy pulled the hood back again, showing Harry his face, which was sweet and open, the way Harry remembered Teddy as a child, before things changed. He pushed the Cloak off fully and it piled around his feet like a skin he had shed.
"Don't let me go," Teddy said, barely getting the words out as his throat closed up. Harry exhaled a stunned little noise not unlike he had the night before, when he saw that Teddy was wanking to the smell of his shirt. He pulled Teddy into his arms again, and Teddy clung to him, his hands wrapping around Harry's back.
"I've been horrible," Harry said. "I've been horrible to you." He wanted to kiss Teddy's face a thousand times and bury his nose in Teddy's hair, to breathe in the scent of him.
"Just don't let me go," Teddy whispered. He leaned back to look Harry in the face, and a hot drop of lust sank through Harry's chest and down to his groin, sizzling away every other concern for one sharp second. He stared at Teddy's lips, feeling possessed.
"I did watch you," Harry said. He wanted to wipe Teddy's tears from his cheeks but he was afraid even that would be hopelessly lewd, coming from him. "I'm a monster. I've failed you, I know I have."
"You could still save me," Teddy said, his voice weak and wounded. "I'm still here."
Harry raised a shaking hand to touch Teddy's hair, and Teddy shut his eyes like a cat who was preparing to be stroked.
"I can't," Harry said. He didn't mean to say that he couldn't save Teddy. He couldn't kiss him, which was what, maybe only in Harry's poisoned mind, Teddy seemed to want him to do.
"You won't," Teddy said, opening his eyes, and Harry leaned in to swallow up those words as Teddy's mouth opened under his, to prove them untrue. The soft scrape of Teddy's tongue across his made him hard like a spell had been cast, like he'd never forgotten how to feel this good. Teddy was so warm, and breathing hard, like a child who had been caught stealing. Which was exactly what he was, no matter that he was eight years older than Harry had been when he saved the world.
“The other night,” Harry said, pulling back to breathe against Teddy's cheek. "My shirt - why -?"
“Because I wanted so much, even before my gran went mad, for you to come to her sad little house and take me away, on wonderful adventures. Then when I was older, I don't know. I wanted other things.”
“You're Sirius' second cousin,” Harry said. He was sure he had thought of it before, but it had never seemed to matter like it did now. Teddy was related to both Sirius and Remus. He was what was left in the world of whatever had gone on between them, whatever Harry had witnessed that day in Grimmauld Place. Teddy frowned.
“I'm lots of people's cousin,” he said. “And none of them has me round. Not the Blacks, God -
knows what's left of them, or the Malfoys, or whatever Lupins might still roam the earth. You're the only one who invites me anywhere.”
“And still I'm disappointing,” Harry said. He wasn't arguing this point; he knew that he had been, always, to Teddy. Teddy's eyes filled up.
“I don't know what I want from you,” Teddy said. “Everything, too many things, they're all at odds with each other.”
Harry thought of the way Sirius had embraced him and the confused elation it had set off in Harry, that day and for the rest of his life. He backed Teddy against the wall, and Teddy's mouth fell open just slightly. Harry hesitated. One kiss, in the midst of such an emotional conversation, could be forgiven. But now he was truly on the precipice, poised to make what would probably be the greatest, most selfish mistake of his life. And all he could think about was how he would die, certainly and painfully, if he didn't kiss Teddy again.
“Please,” Teddy cried, and Harry went over the edge of the cliff that echoed bottomlessly before him. He kissed Teddy, in free-fall, pinning him back fully against the wall and pressing their bodies together. Teddy seemed stunned for a moment, as if he hadn't expected Harry to give him what he needed, and why should he? He pushed a long, shaky breath into Harry's mouth and licked through Harry's parted lips. He tasted like something familiar, though Harry was sure he'd never had whatever it was near his mouth before.
They pulled apart a bit and huffed against each other's faces, as if kissing had involved a great deal of physical exertion. Teddy's eyes were wide and unguarded; he looked terrified and was limp in Harry's grip, at his mercy. Harry stood up taller and pressed his knee between Teddy's legs, spreading them apart.
“You should cast a Concealing Charm,” Teddy said. His arms were wrapped around Harry's shoulders, and he pushed his hips forward to brush his stiffening cock against the shape of Harry's.
“No,” Harry said. He wasn't even sure why; he knew Teddy was right, he should. But he didn't want to think about the others in the house, even to protect them from what he was doing with Teddy. He kissed Teddy again, and Teddy cried helplessly into Harry's mouth as he allowed Harry's knee to grind up between his legs, which slid further apart as he unhinged himself for Harry, like a door opening in Harry's arms.
Harry leaned onto Teddy and let himself be lost to the feeling of Teddy's hot mouth moving down his neck. Teddy was making the sound he'd made the night before, as if what they were doing hurt, just a little. His cock was jabbing into Harry's stomach now, and when Harry groped him through his trousers Teddy gasped and flatted himself against the screened-in wall of the porch.
"I never thought --" Teddy said, his eyes fluttering shut as Harry squeezed his cock. "And then, last night --"
"Shh," Harry said. He glanced over his shoulder; the house was dark and quiet. When he looked back, Teddy's face had hardened.
"You want to fuck me and keep them, too?" Teddy said.
"I don't know what I want," Harry said. His heartbeat hurt; he could barely breathe. Teddy leaned forward and put his mouth just over Harry's, so that their rapid breath felt like a boxing match between wind storms.
"Yes, you do," he said. Teddy sank down to his knees and tore Harry's pyjama bottoms and shorts down in one rough tug. Harry's cock was so hard that it hurt when it bounced in the aftermath, pointing at Teddy's face. Teddy kept his eyes on Harry as he flicked his tongue carefully over the head. Harry swallowed his groan, and it ached to keep it in.
"You want this, don't you?" Teddy asked. He ran his tongue more firmly over the tip of Harry's cock, and Harry saw his precome already leaking onto Teddy's bottom lip. He had to shut his eyes to keep from falling over, everything too sensitive, his mind and his body one dangerously pulsing heartbeat. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had his cock sucked; Ginny found it demeaning. He'd wanted it more than anything ever since that day in Grimmauld Place, and he hadn't known it until now.
"Yes," Harry admitted. "Please."
Teddy grinned up at him. "Are you begging?" he asked.
"Please, yes, I don't care, yes, I'm begging." Harry's jaw was tight and he was trying very hard not to shove forward into Teddy's mouth, which was poised to suck him off, his breath hot and moist on Harry's cock. Teddy ran his tongue around Harry's cockhead in teasing circles and Harry tried to keep his groan internalised, but some of it moved past his lips. He put a hand in Teddy's sandy hair, winding his fingers through it.
"Please," Harry said in a whimper, red with humiliation, and Teddy's face changed. He shut his eyes and slid his lips over Harry's cock, then down the length of it, until he'd almost swallowed it up entirely. Harry tipped his head back and sighed, his grip on Teddy's hair tightening. He wanted to live inside Teddy's sweet, sweltering mouth.
In only five slow passes of Teddy's lips, Harry was nearly ready to explode, and when Teddy reached between Harry's legs to brush light fingertips over his balls, Harry choked in surprise as his orgasm rushed out of him, seeming to stab at him at first, then giving way to the long rolls of pleasure that he had feared he might never feel again. He was hardly conscious until he opened his eyes, looked down and saw Teddy licking his shining lips. He'd swallowed. Harry yanked him up from the floor and kissed him deeply, tasting his own bitterness on Teddy's tongue. It was neither pleasant nor jarring, but it was something he'd never been able to experience before.
"Come here," he said, pulling Teddy over to the couch. Teddy stumbled in Harry's grip, having trouble walking because of his own erection. Harry sat on the couch, in the exact spot where he'd seen Teddy wanking the night before, and pulled Teddy into his lap, Teddy's back snug along Harry's chest. Teddy was trembling as he arched back to mouth at Harry's neck. Harry took Teddy's right leg and looped it over his own, then did the same with his left, so that Teddy was completely spread. He took Teddy's hands, leaned forward, and stuffed them behind his back, pinning them against the couch cushions.
Harry wanted to say something either reassuring or sexy, but he didn't trust his voice and couldn't wait any longer. He unfastened Teddy's trousers and listened as Teddy's panting breath came even faster. He was rock hard and big, almost as big as Harry, though not as thick. Harry's cock twitched to life again as he wrapped his fingers around Teddy's.
"Just relax," Harry said, because Teddy was tense against him and his breath was dangerously wild. "You want me to cast a Concealing Charm?" he asked, thinking that might calm him down.
"No," Teddy said, his voice stronger than Harry had expected. He slumped fully onto Harry and buried his face against Harry's neck, letting out a long breath. Harry began to stroke him, just softly at first, pulling little whimpers from Teddy as he bucked fruitlessly against Harry's hand. Harry spread his own legs wider, opening Teddy's further, and Teddy moaned, lifting his hips as Harry's grip tightened.
"How long?" Harry asked as he reached down to palm Teddy's balls, tickling beneath them as Teddy strained to allow him access. "How long have you been wanking to thoughts of me?"
"Since I learned how to wank," Teddy said, his voice tight and harsh. He turned and sank his teeth into Harry's ear, not hard enough to break the skin, but it hurt. Harry cried out and closed his fist tightly around Teddy's swollen cock. He pumped him hard while Teddy chewed more softly on his earlobe. The rain was quiet now, as if in reverence of two god-like creatures locked in combat. But that was ridiculous: two orphans, two nobodies. That was what they both still were.
"Harry!" Teddy whispered sharply when he came, pushing his face closer to Harry's neck and thrusting up into Harry's hand with pathetic little efforts as his come spilled over Harry's fingers.
"That's right," Harry whispered. He licked Teddy's cheek, feeling insanely possessive and close to losing his mind. "I'm here."
Teddy began to wind down, still huffing every breath and his cock still dribbling a bit. Harry released Teddy's hands and pulled his wand from the pocket of his pyjama pants. He cast the spell to clean Teddy, speaking softly and with care. He wanted it to feel good, a gentle cleansing rather than the harsh scrubbing the same spell could sometimes produce. Teddy was slack and flushed in Harry's arms, and Harry didn't want to let him go. He grabbed Teddy's right leg and turned Teddy's whole body until his feet were tucked up onto the couch and his cheek was resting against Harry's chest. Teddy curled against him gratefully, tucking his arm around Harry's side, and only then did Harry cast a Concealing Charm around them. He felt confident for the first time in awhile that his spells would do the job he meant them to.
They didn't speak; Harry couldn't imagine what more they could say. He smoothed Teddy's hair and Teddy tipped his face up, wanting to be kissed. Harry wanted nothing more himself, content even to let the beginnings of his renewed erection soften in favour of sleepily kissing Teddy, both of their mouths wet and swollen. Every breath of Teddy's seemed like a miracle against Harry's, and Harry realised that he wasn't just having a sexual identity crisis, he was actually falling in love with Teddy, the one person he had so far failed to save. He wrapped Teddy in closer and kissed him more softly. Teddy allowed his eyes to open just a bit.
"We should meet here every night," Teddy whispered. Harry smiled. The little orphan, wanting everything pinned down, scheduled and agreed upon, knowing how easily it could all disappear.
"I won't be able to wait until tomorrow night," Harry said. Teddy grinned, and Harry stroked his face. "We'll find some way to sneak off together."
Teddy shut his eyes and pressed his face to Harry's chest again. Harry tickled his fingers up and down the back of Teddy's neck and began to think rationally. Where on God's earth could this lead but to epic disaster? Still, he couldn't bring himself to let Teddy go. He was in limbo, unable to decide which felt more ridiculous: the beggar's life he could hardly imagine with Teddy, or the one he'd been living for the past twenty-five years.
*
The rain stopped the next morning, mercifully. It was still overcast and windy outside, but Harry used the break in the rainfall as excuse to go out early and walk alone on the beach. There was a small, rocky island just off the coast, about one hundred feet out. Harry thought about swimming to it and exploring it, and then of just Apparating there with Teddy. He looked back to the house and saw Ron walking toward him, looking half-asleep and wearing a ratty old jumper that his mum had probably made for him. He was strangely sentimental about the homemade jumpers now, despite being able to afford the finest robes on his Auror's salary.
"You're up early," Harry said when Ron came to stand beside him. He was pale and bleary-eyed, and Harry could guess that Hermione had sent him out after Harry when she'd seen him walking down the stairs past their bedroom.
"So are you," Ron said, crossing his arms over his chest. "This weather's for the fucking birds, eh?"
"Sorry I dragged you along."
"That's alright, mate. I'm having a good time. Uh, are you?"
"Yeah," Harry said, grinning and sincere. He had stayed on the sofa with Teddy for hours the night before, kissing him and watching him drift to sleep, then waking him with more kisses, unable to stop himself. He was terrified to learn that he was capable of such a self-destructive love, but it filled him with childish hope all the same. Teddy was still in bed, and just the prospect of laying eyes on him later made Harry feel light enough to float. Ron gave him a look of concern.
"Hermione's worried about you," he said.
"What else is new?"
"I'm a little worried, too," Ron said, and Harry could guess that Ron was more worried about his sister and his niece and nephews than Harry. He'd always trusted Harry to take care of himself, and that was exactly what Harry had done the night before with Teddy, and what he would damn well do again as soon as he got the chance. He hadn't figured out how to reconcile taking care of himself with taking care of his family, but he had done enough sacrificing and where had it got him?
"What do you want?" Harry asked. "Ginny and I are adults. We have occasional disagreements."
"Hermione and I have disagreements every two minutes or so, but that's part of the fun, you shout them out. Seems as if, well, that is, Hermione thinks maybe you and Ginny aren't talking much."
"Hermione is wrong," Harry said, irritated by the fact that she was actually right, as always. "Yes, Ron, it's possible."
"I know that! I'm just - well, for the past couple of years, you and Ginny -"
"Have I got a sign on my head that says corner me and assign me emotional problems?" Harry asked sharply. "I wonder why I'm the only one getting this attention, yeah? Nobody asks Albus why he's afraid of everything or you why you get drunk every night. Nobody asks Teddy why he's so unhappy."
"I don't get drunk," Ron said, frowning. "I'm on holiday, I have a few pints - and if you're wondering why Teddy Lupin is unhappy, well, same reason he's always been. He's determined to be, you know that."
"Why must you all call him Teddy Lupin?" Harry asked. "As if you don't know him."
"Because we don't!" Ron said. "All I know about him is that he nearly drove my niece to suicide."
"Oh, please, that was only a bid for attention, and it was hardly Teddy's fault, he just had a hard -
time coming to terms with the fact that he's gay."
"Sure, fine, but he didn't have to drag Victoire along while he was on his quest for self-discovery," Ron said, frowning. He shook his head. "I never understood why you were so determined to manufacture a relationship with that boy."
"Ugh, God!" Harry said, miming a shudder. "It unnerves me when I hear you repeat Hermione's words verbatim, you know?"
"Who said I was!"
"You don't think I can tell? When's the last time you talked about 'manufacturing' anything?"
Ron grinned and shoved Harry. Normally Harry was relieved when his shouting matches with his best mate dissipated into friendly joking, but at the moment he was aggravated by Ron's refusal to take him seriously. He kicked a spray of pebbles into the waves.
"Hey, c'mon," Ron said. "Help me make breakfast for the kids."
Harry was set to refuse, but he considered the possibility of serving Teddy hot pasties and coffee while his own children sat obliviously by. One big happy family. It was a term that had been bandied about quite a lot when the famous Harry Potter and Hermione Granger both married into the Weasley family. Teddy was of course never mentioned in these articles, though Harry had become his legal guardian when Andromeda died nine years ago.
Back at the house, the children were just beginning to stumble out of their bedrooms, the girls first, then Albus, already trailing his mother with complaints that some book of his that had been magicked to reveal over a million different possible endings depending upon the reader's selection was stuck on the ending where the hero got eaten by a pack of rabid shrews and he couldn't achieve another ending no matter how he directed the story.
"Maybe it's a gag book," Ron said. "Sounds like the kind of thing George would design: the inevitable shrews!"
Hermione laughed and touched Ron's shoulder as she moved through the room, smiling down at him as if he was very clever. This irritated Harry for some reason.
"No, I've had it for months and it used to give me different endings," Albus said, humourless as ever. James and Hugo appeared, and James swatted Albus on the back of his head as he passed.
"Maybe you've ticked it off," James said, going for a pot of coffee on the counter. "Maybe it's got tired of you making the hero undress and dance for you."
Harry waited for Albus to snarl and fly at James with his fists, but instead he got up and -
walked sullenly from the room, clutching his book while Hugo laughed uproariously at James' joke and Ginny scowled at Harry, expecting him to scold James.
"Hey," Harry said, and James turned from the coffee, his smile draining. "Don't be a prat."
"C'mon, Dad," James said. He sat beside Harry at the table. "Admit it was funny."
"You're so cruel!" Ginny said, glowering at James. "Don't you know how sensitive Albus is?"
"How could he forget with you reminding him every ten minutes?" someone said from the top of the stairs.
Everyone turned to the stairway, where Teddy was lurking, barefoot and shirtless in only pyjama bottoms. Harry swallowed heavily. Ginny was staring at Teddy as if she didn't even know how to begin to rebuke him for that remark.
"Excuse me," she said, straightening. "But no one asked for Teddy Lupin's commentary on the situation."
"Yes, no one ever does," Teddy said lightly. He walked into the room and surveyed the breakfast that Ron had begun to prepare, the ingredients laid out on the kitchen counter. "Do you want some help?" Teddy asked.
"Sure, mate." Ron seemed baffled by the offer. "I was going to do potatoes and bacon, tomatoes, you know, the works."
"The works," Teddy said. "Have you got eggs?"
"Yes," Ron said. "Accio-"
"Don't you dare!" Hermione shrieked. "Accio e-g-g-s? Really, Ron, have you forgotten what happened last time you tried that?"
There was much laughter as the Weasley family recalled this hilarious mishap, and Hugo stood in the middle of the room retelling it while Hermione shook her head and smiled. Harry ignored them and watched Teddy working at the counter. In just a few minutes he had turned Ron's sloppy breakfast into some type of delicious-smelling casserole with several different cheeses bubbling on top. He quietly went about arranging slices on plates and used his wand to distribute them around the kitchen. Only Harry's plate teetered dangerously; the others landed without incident. Harry caught his plate and steadied it, then looked up at Teddy, who was staring at him. Teddy smiled, a tiny, secret thing, and Harry beamed at him. The sight of Teddy without his shirt was enough to make Harry half-hard under the table, though his naked chest was soft and unremarkable. Harry began plotting how they would escape the others as he dug into the casserole, which was excellent.
-"You're quite a chef!" Hermione said to Teddy, who was eating his own portion while standing at the counter. "Who taught you to cook?"
"My gran," Teddy said. "She used to say that she was the only Black who ever bothered to learn how to cook for herself."
"We never cook at home," Lily said. "The house elf does all of that."
"He has a name, Lil," Harry said. She shrugged and went back to eating.
Ginny walked back into the kitchen, her face pinched with irritation. She sniffed the air and frowned in the direction of the casserole, which was nearly gone, as Hugo and James had both managed third helpings by that point.
"Ron, what have you done?" she asked. "You know I don't eat eggs."
"Oh, sorry," Teddy said. "No one told me."
Ginny looked at Harry as if this was a real betrayal, and then stalked from the room. Harry's throat tightened with anxiety as he scraped the last bits of his breakfast on to his fork. He could feel Hermione burning a hole in his head.
"I think I'm going to pop down to the market and restock the groceries," Harry said, levitating his plate to the sink. "Anyone want to join me?"
"Ginny might want to," Hermione said. "She was talking about wanting an avocado."
"I'll come," Teddy said. "I've got a few things I want to pick up. I'll get some avocados for Ginny," he added, looking back at Hermione. She smiled tightly.
"How kind of you," she said as Teddy and Harry headed for the stairs.
*
They side-along Apparated to the rocky little island off the coast as soon as they were out of sight of the rental. Harry landed hard on its sloping left side, scraping his hands on some loose rocks and foliage. Teddy was on his arse beside him, struggling for traction. Harry took Teddy's hand and wordlessly led him around to the back of the tiny island, which was hidden from the shoreline of Kokari. It looked out toward Turkey, which would have been visible but for the fog.
"Did you sleep well?" Harry asked when they were installed on flat rock that jutted out from the side of the island and provided a cosy balcony. Teddy laughed at the question and fell on Harry, kissing him nosily, seemingly thrilled with the chance to be able to moan at full volume. Harry was grateful for it himself, and he let Teddy push him down onto his back and scramble atop him as they licked and nipped at each other furiously. Harry pushed his hands up underneath -
the t-shirt Teddy had put on before they left the house and sighed with charged-up contentment at the warmth of Teddy's smooth skin. Teddy sat up on his elbows and smiled down at Harry, his body spread apart and his cock snug over Harry's, which was nearly full already.
"I fucking love thinking of this when we're around them," Teddy said. "Don't you?"
Harry knew Teddy was talking about his family, and he blanched a bit. Everything was so new, of course he loved all of it, but it was horribly awkward and dangerous for Harry, having Ginny and Hermione skirting the edges of his burgeoning romance.
"What you made to eat was brilliant," Harry said, avoiding the question. "You're really talented."
"Yes, I'm nearly on the level of a house elf."
"That's quite a compliment coming from Hermione, you know," Harry said, trying to make a joke of it, but Teddy didn't smile.
"I'm sure they all look at me as a kind of charity, like their beloved elves," Teddy said. He leaned beside Harry, his head propped up by his elbow and his t-shirt twisted.
"You could work if you liked," Harry said, a bit irritated by Teddy's petulance. "I could get you any position you wanted, just name it."
"That's disgusting," Teddy said. "Installing your loved ones in comfortable jobs, calling in favours -"
"That's not what I mean at all." Harry put a hand on Teddy's side, already terrified that this could end, that he wouldn't be able to mend what was broken in Teddy and would only offend him in his feeble efforts. "I only mean that I would trust you to do well if you really put your energy into something."
"Good," Teddy said. He grabbed Harry's shoulders and rolled on top of him again, pinning him. "So lie back and let me show you that I can." He kissed Harry so hard that Harry groped for his wand and blindly cast a softening spell on the rock, the back of his head already sore. Teddy found this hilarious.
"They didn't teach you this at Hogwarts?" Harry asked as they sank into the newly cushioned surface.
"They did," Teddy said. "I just never had cause to use it before. I haven't had a lot of secret outdoor shags."
"Is that what we're doing?" Harry asked, his pulse quickening. Teddy sat up and pushed his messy hair away from his forehead.
"I want you to fuck me so hard they'll hear my screams on the shore," Teddy said.
Harry was stuck by this as if by a blunt object, surprised with himself. He wanted it, badly, to drive into Teddy until he was weak with exhaustion and could do nothing but cling to Harry desperately in the aftermath. He sat up onto his knees and pulled Teddy up with him, yanking at Teddy's trousers. He was so hard inside them that it must have been painful; Harry released Teddy's cock from his shorts and stroked it, staring down at the mesmerizing sight of it in his hand, hard and flushed pink, perfect-straight. Teddy let out a choppy breath and steadied himself on Harry's shoulders.
"You're beautiful," Harry said, looking up at Teddy. It seemed a ridiculous thing to say, but why should it? It was true: Teddy's skin was so rosy and warm, his eyes were so open, bright and dark in the same moment. Teddy shook his head.
"I'm war trash," he said.
"So am I," Harry said. He crushed his mouth against Teddy's and swallowed Teddy's broken little groan, pulling harder on Teddy's cock. He reached around Teddy to push his trousers down to his knees, and cupped one arse cheek in each hand. Teddy's face was pressed to Harry's, his eyelids fluttering and his breath so hot on Harry's mouth.
"You've never been with a man, have you?" Teddy asked.
"No," Harry said. "I guess that's what you are, isn't it? A man. You still seem like a boy to me."
"I am," Teddy said, nodding furiously. "Yours."
Harry pushed Teddy onto his back and bent down to lick his balls and then up along the shaft of his cock. Teddy moaned weakly and reached down to take hold of his legs, one hand under each knee. He pulled them back, exposing the secret skin under his balls and the pink dimple of his arsehole. Harry took his cue and licked the long, hairless strip of skin down to just above the wrinkled pucker of Teddy's arse. He knew what Teddy wanted; he'd heard about this, of course.
"Have you cleaned yourself for me?" Harry asked, placing the flat of his thumb over Teddy's entrance. Teddy shook his head sheepishly, his face turning red. Harry took his wand from his trouser pocket and sucked in a deep breath. He imagined that this had to be one of the most intimate spells one wizard could perform on another, and of course he'd never tried it before, though really it was the same as the basic cleaning spell. He put the tip of his wand very gently against Teddy's dark, grasping entrance. Teddy was trembling, and Harry could barely breathe; their eyes met and Harry felt something well beyond the obscenity of their current postures pass between them. It was almost a physical pain, both of them knowing already how vulnerable they were making themselves to each other.
"Do it," Teddy said, his voice rough with embarrassment and his flush spreading down to his naked chest. Harry nodded.
"Tergeo," he said, struggling to keep his hand steady and his voice clear. The spell came out a bit too strong, and Teddy shuddered as it spread over him, cleaning him both inside and out.
"Fuck," he exhaled, shutting his eyes and letting his limbs sink down as if Harry had stolen his bones.
"I'm sorry," Harry said. "I've never --"
"No, it felt really good." Teddy leaned up a little bit to smile at Harry. "And I've never, either. I've never had someone try that on me."
"Oh, is it not done? Sorry, it just seemed logical --"
Teddy laughed, and Harry sat back, embarrassed, his erection beginning to sag against the gravity of the moment. Teddy sat up and crawled into Harry's lap to kiss him, and Harry wrapped Teddy into his arms, enjoying the feeling of being clothed while Teddy was completely exposed. He leaned forward until he was crouched over Teddy, who was on his back again, smelling like he'd just come out of a basket of washed linens. Harry kissed him everywhere, moving down his neck to his shoulders, which were tanned despite the dismal summer, then to his collarbone and his chest. He paused to bite at Teddy's nipples, because apparently that was done, this much he knew, and he understood the appeal of it immediately when Teddy squirmed with laughter and yelped in pain in the same breath.
By the time he'd reached Teddy's cock it was already leaking, and Harry licked the unpleasantly lukewarm precome from Teddy's slit, making him moan and deflate the way the cleaning spell had. Harry lifted Teddy's knees again and tilted him back, licking down over his balls, then lower.
"Oh, God, Harry." Teddy was constantly chanting a string of some combination of those three words, thrashing a bit as he did, but he went silent and still at the first flick of Harry's tongue across his arsehole.
"Good?" Harry asked, nervous. Teddy nodded dreamily, his eyes half-shut.
"I never even had the nerve to imagine," Teddy said, his voice a low drone, as if all of his energy was in use and basic functions like speech were a strain. "To imagine you, you doing, oh, yes, yeah, that's, yeah."
Teddy tasted like the purest essence of his sweet, fragrant skin. Harry shut his eyes and appreciated his own spell work as he licked deeper into the heat of Teddy's body. Maybe he should have been a janitor; his cleaning could put Filch's squibbish efforts to shame. He had to hold down a laugh at the thought.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Apparently Teddy only knew one word now. Harry sat back and licked him in a wide sweep, from one cheek to the other, his tongue just teasing across Teddy's -
entrance. Teddy moaned in something like complaint and appreciation. He looked up at Harry through slitted eyes, and Harry smiled at him. Teddy's cock was so hard that the whole lower half of his body was rigid in response, as if he was struggling to prop up the weight of it.
"Want to come?" Harry asked, running his thumb softly along the underside of Teddy's cock. Teddy jerked his hips up in response and let his head loll back onto the rock again.
"Not until you're in me," he said.
Harry lubricated himself hastily, and this spell was less elegant, leaving behind a mess of overenthusiastic slickness that smelled of moss and cinnamon. Teddy was ready and waiting, holding the backs of his knees again. Harry sat back and distributed the lubricant carefully over himself, enjoying the sight of Teddy, who was panting and waiting for him, trembling with anticipation.
"Will you scream my name?" Harry asked. Ginny never did.
"Depends," Teddy said, sighing impatiently. "Will you pound my arse until I can't stop myself?”
Harry answered that by moving between Teddy's legs, his own erection heavy enough to make him feel half-crippled. He brought his slicked fingers to Teddy's entrance and tickled him there, watching as Teddy's face twitched in something like surprise and then relaxed completely as Harry's finger pressed into him, just the fingertip at first.
"Yeah," Teddy said, breathing the word out as if it had been strangling him and now he was free of it. His tight arse spasmed around Harry's finger, making Harry's vision blur.
"Is this okay?" Harry asked as his finger slipped in deeper, easily, though Teddy felt so tight that Harry could hardly imagine his cock replacing his finger and stretching Teddy to bursting. Still, he wanted nothing more than to sink into Teddy wholly and feel every tiny jerk and twitch as he took Harry in, allowing him access, opening for him. Harry felt woozy for a moment and braced himself against the softened rock with his other hand.
"It's good," Teddy said, his eyes shut and his mouth wet. Harry wanted to lean forward to kiss him, but he was afraid to move. All of his senses were so heightened that the whole world seemed to buzz into obscurity around him, the rock and the island and the sea all long gone, forget about more intangible concepts such as his marriage.
"I don't think I can wait any longer," Harry said, panting helplessly, his finger stuffed all the way inside Teddy, who was still squeezing around it in slow, seemingly involuntary spasms.
"Me either," Teddy said. He opened his eyes and Harry just stared at him for a moment, bared for Harry and so hard for him, a thin stream of precome stretching all the way from the tip of his cock and pooling on his stomach.
Harry withdrew his finger and leaned over Teddy, flattening his palms on either side of his Teddy's chest. The rock was soft beneath them but it still had enough firmness to provide traction, and Harry needed it badly, because he was a trembling mess and he wasn't even sure he'd be able to get his cock into Teddy before he came all over both of them.
"I might not be good," Harry said. "Remember, it's my first time."
Teddy grinned; he almost looked sleepy, sated despite the fact that his erection had grown so hard and full that Harry knew he must be hurting for release. He reached up and stroked Harry's cheek softly, as if Harry were a boy who needed comforting.
"You always seem so worried," Teddy said, his voice a small thing that seemed to come from very deep within him. "Don't you know how perfect you are?"
Harry had been called many things, but no one had ever spoken of him with the kind of bare sincerity that Teddy had. Harry shook his head.
"How can I be perfect when I've disappointed you so?" He would never forget that comment, however much of Teddy he could save. There were some things that would always haunt him, and Teddy finally telling him the truth about Andromeda, about what Harry had allowed him to endure, was one of them.
"Perfect people have got to be disappointing," Teddy said. "It's a rule. Now please, Harry, please. I want you inside me. I think I'll die of it, I want it so much."
"Asking to be saved?" Harry said. He leaned down to kiss Teddy. His mouth was so wet and swollen from Harry's previous efforts that it felt like kissing just the warm, soft idea of a mouth.
"Or killed," Teddy said. He grunted sharply when Harry's stomach brushed over the wet tip of his cock. "Anything."
Harry slid into Teddy at last, and they both sighed heavily in relief. Teddy put his hands on Harry's sides as Harry inched in deeper, taking his time. He kept his eyes on Teddy's face, watching for cues. Teddy was breathing in great gulps, and his eyes were wet at the corners.
"Teddy," Harry said in a whisper as he slipped the last of himself into Teddy, his balls resting against the warmth of Teddy's spread-open arse, which seemed almost cold compared to the intensity of the heat inside Teddy's body. "You, you're so, so --"
"Don't talk," Teddy said. His voice was tight, and Harry bent down to kiss him on the lips, just once and quickly. "Don't say anything."
Teddy reached up and carefully removed Harry's glasses. Harry was going to protest; he wanted to be able to see Teddy clearly, he wanted to see everything. Teddy reached for the shirt he had tossed onto the rock and carefully rubbed the glasses clean, removing a thin layer of fog that had gathered across the lenses either from the heat of Harry's face or Teddy's body. Harry was perfectly still as Teddy replaced them on his face.
"Please," Teddy whispered, reaching up to grip Harry's arms above his elbows. Harry knew what he was asking for.
He moved into Teddy with terrified tenderness until Teddy ground up against him, begging for more. Harry sat back on his knees, grabbed Teddy's hips and hoisted him up so that his body was tilted at an angle. When Teddy gurgled in wordless encouragement Harry began to drive into him, watching Teddy's face pinch up as his cries turned to shouts and then to screams. Every word out of Teddy's mouth was Harry's name, but it sounded different each time he said it, as if Teddy was speaking in another language, the one he'd been inventing for Harry all along, in secret, wanting this excuse to speak it.
Harry said nothing, in awe as his orgasm rushed through him. He'd never been so aware of every piercing pulse of feeling as his climax seemed to move from some invisible seat of his body and into his balls, clenching there for half an excruciating second before it poured up the length of his cock and finally left him. Harry bent down to Teddy's chest and shouted wordlessly as he filled Teddy's arse with his come. Teddy's fingers were digging into Harry's arms, nails biting skin as Teddy arched back, seemingly determined to take in the full force of Harry's orgasm as deeply as possible. He was groaning and so tight, his cock purple with blood and leaking steadily. Harry was half out of his mind in the aftermath, shuddering his breath rather than exhaling it, but he still had the wherewithal to reach for Teddy's cock and pump it with his shaking hand. Teddy was still recovering from Harry's final thrust, and Harry was still inside him. They held each other's gaze while Teddy gasped for breath and Harry rubbed his thumb in tight circles over the wet slit of Teddy's cock.
"Harry," Teddy said, this time in two syllables, his voice so pinched his accent almost went cockney. Then he shuddered and arched back again, his arse squeezing Harry's cock as his orgasm ripped through him. Harry groaned, so oversensitive that it hurt, and he kissed Teddy hard on the mouth, holding Teddy's head in his hands as Teddy's come landed hotly against Harry's chest. Teddy reached up to grab Harry's ears, and they both held on tight, panting against each other's mouths when they were too breathless and disoriented to even maintain the kiss.
"Fuck," Teddy whispered, his eyes still shut. Harry was afraid to move; he never wanted whatever had just happened to end. It hadn't just been sex, or sex with a man, or even sex with someone he loved madly and suddenly and in a way that frightened him deeply. It was more than that; it was something he would never be able to put words to. He felt healed of a crippling illness he'd never known he had, and it wasn't the orgasm, it wasn't even Teddy's damp body shivering under his as Harry slowly slid out of him. It was monstrous and wonderful, something that would change everything.
Harry felt the wind on his back as he hovered over Teddy, kissing his face. Teddy finally opened his eyes, just a little, his lashes still netted together. He touched Harry's side tentatively, as if they were strangers again.
"I think there's a storm coming," Harry said, hating this irrelevant observation, but he had nowhere near the talent with words to verbalise anything that would properly follow what had just taken place between them. The wind was whipping in stronger and he heard thunder blowing in from out over the sea.
"Yes," Teddy said. He seemed delirious. Harry nuzzled his face, feeling ridiculous. Teddy hadn't shaved since the previous day and he was a bit rough against Harry's cheek. He pulled Harry down to him and cradled Harry's head against his chest as Harry stretched out alongside him, letting out his breath. He was suddenly painfully aware of his own nakedness. He still had his socks on; how had he overlooked that?
"We should get back." Harry knew that was the wrong thing to say, but what was the alternative? Already he could feel the first tiny drops of rain on his bare skin, and the thunder was gathering in closer, rumbling louder.
"I want to stay here and talk for awhile," Teddy said. Harry allowed himself to experience the panic that followed rather than pushing it away: the others would be wondering why he'd taken so long at the market. Maybe they would even go looking for him and learn from one of the clerks that he'd never come. He could have Teddy or his family, but Teddy didn't seem willing to let him keep both. And why should he be? Harry sat up.
"Talk about what?" he said. "We'll get wet."
"I could do a water-proofing charm on you," Teddy said. He looked like a ghost, suddenly, very pale against the rock despite his sun-conditioned skin.
"Did I hurt you?" Harry asked, stroking his hand down Teddy's chest. He could feel heavier raindrops smacking his shoulders now, and he saw lightening flashing somewhere, out of the corner of his eye.
"No," Teddy said. He sat up and grabbed Harry's shoulder in a way that startled him. "Not yet."
"Come on, Teddy, we'll be soaked, or worse. It's dangerous, there's lightning. Later we'll talk, we'll meet on the porch --"
"I'm not a child," Teddy said sharply. "Not anymore."
"I know that." Harry kissed him to shut him up, and handed him his clothes. "Here," he said softly. Teddy wilted a little, looking down at the rumpled shirt and trousers Harry had placed in his lap. "Before they get wet. C'mon, there you are."
They Apparated to the market and hurriedly gathered supplies for the night's dinner as the rain drew closer to the island and the witches and wizards who ran the little stalls in Kokari's version of Diagon Alley began to pack up their things before the storm arrived. Teddy did not forget Ginny's avocados, and Harry was filled with overwhelming love for him as he watched him sullenly selecting them from a barrel. He walked from a display of dried vampire root and stood behind Teddy, placing a hand lightly on his back. Teddy paused, an avocado in his hand, and turned to look at Harry over his shoulder.
"I wish it was just the two of us here," Harry whispered in Teddy's ear. He knew he was being reckless; even in Greece, people would recognise him in wizarding markets. He didn't care. "I wish we could go back to our bed and nap and talk and listen to the storm. It would sound so different, don't you think? If we were here together, alone?"
"I would make you dinner." Teddy turned to smile at him. "We would get drunk and have sex on the floor by the fireplace."
Harry grinned and touched Teddy's bottom lip with two fingers, just quickly. When he stepped away he saw the stooped old witch who ran the produce stand glowering at him with suspicion. She said something in Greek and Harry nodded as if he understood before pressing seven sickles into her palm.
"It could be like that, you know," Teddy said as they walked back to the rental. Harry wanted to Apparate, impatient to return to the safety of the lie that was his life, but Teddy had insisted on walking. The thunder was threatening overhead, and Harry could hear the rain begin, approaching them steadily.
"It could be just the two of us," Teddy said, too loudly, competing with the sound of the storm. They had come to the base of the rental, which towered over them like a warden. Harry pulled Teddy under the overhang of the first floor porch as the rain caught up with them.
"I know," Harry said. He gave Teddy a squeeze that seemed rather condescending in hindsight and wished he could take it back. "Just give me some time. To think. It's only been two days."
Teddy grunted in annoyance and looked out at the rain that was slamming the pavement. Lightning flashed over the sea, close to the island where they'd forgotten to undo the softening spell on that rock. It would wear off on its own, but Harry was bothered by this carelessness, and he imagined someone discovering it, stained with come and marked by hand prints, and knowing exactly what had transpired upon it.
"It's been longer than two days for me," Teddy said. He pulled himself from Harry's grip and went up the narrow stairs to the first floor, the bag of avocados swinging in his hand. If Harry was honest with himself, he had been heading toward this conclusion for much longer than two days himself. It felt like the realization of some great destiny, more so than anything he'd done as a teenager. All of that had been ordained outside of him, and he had simply been a pawn, pushed from one trial to the next. Now, whatever he did to fulfil his destiny would be on his shoulders alone. No one but Teddy would force him to confront the horror of changing his life. Leaving his family. His stomach dropped and the bag of sundries in his hand seemed to grow very heavy. He felt as if he'd been on a Muggle carnival ride for the past two days, spinning in such frantic, happy circles that he couldn't think straight and only remembered himself when he caught the briefest flashes of his normal life as he spun wildly past it.
*
Part III