long time, no type...
well...have you ever had the feeling that u jus wanna break down and cry...and u might not have a reason but it jus seems like everything is wrong and u wanna cry...well i have been feeling this way for days. ok so apparently there is no guy out there. of coarse they say every1 has some1...well I DONT! and ive thought so much about the past and all the guys i have ever cared about..where are they now? good question. obviously not w/ me. so i guess i wasted my feelings. but bein heart broken is something every1 experiences but does it have to happen everytime? well i have moved on. i dont need the past. will i always care about the guy i first loved? definently...i will always remember those 6 months. but i dont need him. ive narrowed down my guys though..lets see. there is one. he was my first. no not what ur thinkin..im still a virgin (but yall can believe what u want...i AM still one tho) but this guy was my first b/f. we started out as really good friends and then we went out. it was off and on for a long time. it seems like every year something goes on between us. but i still care about him. its weird how u can hang on to something for 4 years and never tell a soul. no1 knows how i have felt..well ya do now but ya dont kno who! but this guy has a g/f. he loves her and he is happy. im happy for him. still when i see him theres always that look. theres always that feeling. neways...i figured how bout trying to find some1 new. ok well i cant find to many. maybe im picky. but theres a guy i like..good lookin, smart, nice body. but i dont wanna try. prolly cuz he prolly is not interested. yea im not gonna tell him my feelings cuz usually when i do that then i jus get hurt. so im jus gonna keep it hush hush and keep my self from rejection. it makes me think maybe im not good enough...idk. maybe one day ill find some1 who will actually care about me like i do them. maybe one day i will cry tears of happiness. ok new subject. well im gettin my pink steve madden shoes soon. there gonna be great. and i get my license next wed. cant wait to drive on my own and get my car! spring break is coming soon and im goin to the beach and we only got about 44 more days of school or sumthin like that. then SUMMER! so i guess there are some things to look forward to. neways i jus thought i would catch up. until next time...goodbye