(no subject)
I hate me.
I hate everything ive done.
I hate my life.
I hate school.
I hate home.
I hate my music.
I hate tv.
I hate being depressed.
I HATE ME.
Im so depressed, i cant even get out of bed some days.
I cant eat, i cant talk, i cant even smile.
I just cry.
My life has been reduced to work and crying.
Nothing else.
I cant stand feeling guilty anymore.
But it will never go away.
Why should it?...i deserve to feel like crap for everything.
I deserve to be killed.
I have 3 weeks of school left, and i honestly dont care.
A normal person would be excited, but me...i dont fucking care.
What the hell am i supposed to after school is done?...
Sit at home, cry, sleep, feel horrible,..oh wait..i already do those things every day.
So whats the point of going back to school.
Im already a damn failure.
I failed with you, so why bother to try again.
You didnt ruin any further relationships.
I did.
I dont want them. Why?...cause ill probably just hurt them as bad as i hurt you, and then ill feel even more guilt.
And i dont know if its posible to even feel more guilt.
Im such a fucking idiot.
Why was a born?
Christmas sucked this year..why?...cause last christmas and new years was the best ever, and nothing will beat them..
Why?.cause i was with all the people i love...you..jenna...all except 4 finger..
But look at how i changed all that.
I lost you. And i fucking hate myself for it every fucking day.
Im losing jenna soon.
Ive already lost my ability to smile.
Im just a fucking shell.
EMPTY, AND POINTLESS.
I hate everything ive done.
I hate my life.
I hate school.
I hate home.
I hate my music.
I hate tv.
I hate being depressed.
I HATE ME.
Im so depressed, i cant even get out of bed some days.
I cant eat, i cant talk, i cant even smile.
I just cry.
My life has been reduced to work and crying.
Nothing else.
I cant stand feeling guilty anymore.
But it will never go away.
Why should it?...i deserve to feel like crap for everything.
I deserve to be killed.
I have 3 weeks of school left, and i honestly dont care.
A normal person would be excited, but me...i dont fucking care.
What the hell am i supposed to after school is done?...
Sit at home, cry, sleep, feel horrible,..oh wait..i already do those things every day.
So whats the point of going back to school.
Im already a damn failure.
I failed with you, so why bother to try again.
You didnt ruin any further relationships.
I did.
I dont want them. Why?...cause ill probably just hurt them as bad as i hurt you, and then ill feel even more guilt.
And i dont know if its posible to even feel more guilt.
Im such a fucking idiot.
Why was a born?
Christmas sucked this year..why?...cause last christmas and new years was the best ever, and nothing will beat them..
Why?.cause i was with all the people i love...you..jenna...all except 4 finger..
But look at how i changed all that.
I lost you. And i fucking hate myself for it every fucking day.
Im losing jenna soon.
Ive already lost my ability to smile.
Im just a fucking shell.
EMPTY, AND POINTLESS.