nothing can change

[hollowlies]

when I lay awake at night,
cloaked in the invisibility of my
own sorrowful misgivings,
I
hallucinate
-back to back-
gloomy spring evenings
of dangerous naiveté.

living the dream
im still dreaming
in soaking wet reflections
deformed by those perfect rippling circles
I
exasterbate
- towards you-
allowing these winds
to start wars

Ours was a small town love stolen
by even smaller time villains.
I lie
--in and beyond---

suspended

disbelief
as I envision the details of
a momentous get-a-way.

gloom meets evening,
a dark suited gentlemen
two whiskey's
d
e
e
p
pretends he doesn't notice
as evening walks through
the door.

the air smells like smooth vintage furs
everything painted in yellow and black
and it hits me...
"i must find something to scare me"

peering through covered glass
i'd a told you the weather
but it never caught up to me
she was drunk my sunrise
that lazy bitch
a l w a y s
talking out of turn

evening sat next to gloomy
and in her eyes
I saw that she was running
on borrowed time,
she didn't ask for a drink,
she didn't get the time...

The light from evening's dress
became muted as the door shut,
blacks and latinos swayed to the blues
while the crackers remained
in back glaring at evening and nodding at gloom,
disappointment and familiarity chase the gin.

the door opened and evening had
never looked more her part.
From within her dress
came a pearl handled pistol
-the one that shot mr. afternoon that very day-
gloom looked back in time
to see the bartender call misery.

It was gloom's shotgun this time,
-polished steel at face level-
"what would you do?" cried the bartender
the crackers shook their heads
while the others slowly turned away
the bartender and misery
knew the drill
as they instructed fortune to hand
over the till.

maybe I'll come back to this...