Don't you know paradise takes time?
Oh, and unrelated to the parking ticket issue...
Something very bad has happened.
Now that I'm actually conscious of my weight loss and it seems to be going smoothly, now I'm freaking out about it. -_- I mean, it wasn't really a conscious effort on my part in the first place. This is all I've done (for health reasons, mind you; not aesthetic ones):
~ I make almost every single meal I eat myself (no bag of chips from the vending machine or quick sandwich from Wendy's, etc.) and take fruit in my purse in case I need a snack on the go.
~ I now approximately 6-12 servings of vegetables and fruit a day, and make sure to vary it up as well in terms of what kinds of produce I eat.
~ I trained myself to crave healthier foods (like if I want something sweet, I have an orange or one small square of dark chocolate; something salty and crunchy, sunflower seeds or carrots; something that'll take a long time to eat in order to satiate that "I'm bored let's eat" craving - pomegranates, artichokes or sunflower seeds...you get the idea).
~ I switched my milk (something I drink a lot of) from 2% (130 calories a cup) to 1% (90 calories a cup).
~ I started buying solely Yoplait yogurt (6oz., 170 calories) instead of the Meijer brand (8 oz, 220 calories).
That's it, seriously. I haven't exercised because I really can't yet (although those PT appointments get my heart rate up and my muscles working, I assure you O_o), I haven't gone on a specific "diet" (you should see how much mayonnaise I still eat :P)...I've just made a few sensible choices for health reasons, and the weight loss has been a wonderful side effect.
But despite my original intent, now that I actually have tangible proof of weight loss, I'm freaking out. Suddenly my afternoon meal of a turkey patty on 12-grain bread and an artichoke with lots of mayonnaise is making me want to run to a thinspiration community and find a post on how to make celery and grapefruit more appetizing.
I'm not sure why this is. Part of me wonders if it's not because I'm finally close to achieving what I failed at so many years before - healthy, sensible weight loss and good health as a result. Yet freaking out about it is only going to cause me to fall back into my fucked-up quasi-anorexic mindset again. I don't WANT to spend every waking moment (and even some sleeping ones) worrying about my weight and whether or not I've gained half a pound. I want to be healthy. Sure, I'd like to fit into certain clothes again, but I started this because I was sick of being heavy and unhealthy with achy, slow-healing knees and lungs that revolted with any extraneous stair climbing.
Yet now that it's actually HAPPENING, all I can start obsessing with is being "pretty" again.
I wasn't going to take The Beauty Myth with me to work tonight, but I think I need it now. -_-
Something very bad has happened.
Now that I'm actually conscious of my weight loss and it seems to be going smoothly, now I'm freaking out about it. -_- I mean, it wasn't really a conscious effort on my part in the first place. This is all I've done (for health reasons, mind you; not aesthetic ones):
~ I make almost every single meal I eat myself (no bag of chips from the vending machine or quick sandwich from Wendy's, etc.) and take fruit in my purse in case I need a snack on the go.
~ I now approximately 6-12 servings of vegetables and fruit a day, and make sure to vary it up as well in terms of what kinds of produce I eat.
~ I trained myself to crave healthier foods (like if I want something sweet, I have an orange or one small square of dark chocolate; something salty and crunchy, sunflower seeds or carrots; something that'll take a long time to eat in order to satiate that "I'm bored let's eat" craving - pomegranates, artichokes or sunflower seeds...you get the idea).
~ I switched my milk (something I drink a lot of) from 2% (130 calories a cup) to 1% (90 calories a cup).
~ I started buying solely Yoplait yogurt (6oz., 170 calories) instead of the Meijer brand (8 oz, 220 calories).
That's it, seriously. I haven't exercised because I really can't yet (although those PT appointments get my heart rate up and my muscles working, I assure you O_o), I haven't gone on a specific "diet" (you should see how much mayonnaise I still eat :P)...I've just made a few sensible choices for health reasons, and the weight loss has been a wonderful side effect.
But despite my original intent, now that I actually have tangible proof of weight loss, I'm freaking out. Suddenly my afternoon meal of a turkey patty on 12-grain bread and an artichoke with lots of mayonnaise is making me want to run to a thinspiration community and find a post on how to make celery and grapefruit more appetizing.
I'm not sure why this is. Part of me wonders if it's not because I'm finally close to achieving what I failed at so many years before - healthy, sensible weight loss and good health as a result. Yet freaking out about it is only going to cause me to fall back into my fucked-up quasi-anorexic mindset again. I don't WANT to spend every waking moment (and even some sleeping ones) worrying about my weight and whether or not I've gained half a pound. I want to be healthy. Sure, I'd like to fit into certain clothes again, but I started this because I was sick of being heavy and unhealthy with achy, slow-healing knees and lungs that revolted with any extraneous stair climbing.
Yet now that it's actually HAPPENING, all I can start obsessing with is being "pretty" again.
I wasn't going to take The Beauty Myth with me to work tonight, but I think I need it now. -_-