Oh, Megyn Kelly.

[hollowdoll]

Lol @ Megyn Kelly's "Jesus & Santa are white" tirade. Even funnier, though, are the people rallying to defend her. "SANTA CLAUS HAS ALWAYS BEEN WHITE. THIS IS PROOF OF THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS. TRADITION FAMILY 'MURICA APPLE PIE RABBLERABBLERABBLE" etc.



Ignoring the part about Jesus being white (that's a rant for a completely different time), let me get this straight, people.

You teach your children that Santa:

• Is omnipotent & omnipresent, spying on their every moment without pause, regardless of whether or not they are awake, gathering enough intel on their behavior that the NSA is simultaneously orgasming at the thought of such expansive data
• Still needs them to write to him a list of the gifts they want, despite all his monitoring of their daily activities
• Can speak/understand every language in the world (since he not only receives wish lists from kids but also watches them in their daily life; can't tell if someone's being bad if you can't understand the context).
  
• Wants them to live in a constant state of fear over his judgment, like he's eagerly rubbing his hands together waiting for them to fuck up, lest there be no presents except coal & that misshapen hand-knit sweater from Great-Aunt Gretchen
• Lives up in the completely uninhabitable North Pole, where temperatures typically hover around -40°C (-40 °C = -40 °F) at this time of year
• Works tirelessly year-round with a shitload of elves - another mythological figure - to create all the toys and electronic nonsense they whine for all year
• Yet still has time to sit in every mall everywhere to see kids worldwide, pose for multiple marketing campaigns and act in several movies/cartoons
• Is immortal with an immortal wife
• Manages to fly CARIBOU, who not only are typically flightless mammals but also of which his are apparently immortal
• One of which has some sort of freakish glowing nose that manages to be the only headlight Santa needs
• And can land on the roof or in the back yard without anyone in the entire world seeing or hearing it at all
• Is morbidly obese, yet can still fit down a chimney
• Still manages to get inside WITHOUT WAKING THEM even if your home lacks a chimney or any discreet exits to the outside (apartment buildings, hotels, trailers, yurts, etc.)
• Eats about a billion cookies & drinks barrels of milk in one night without getting sick - or even full
• Purposely imitates Mom or Dad's handwriting/borrows Mom & Dad's wrapping paper so it's familiar to them & they don't get scared or confused (for those of you with more precocious or observant children).
• Keeps all the gifts straight for every kid EVER, and never accidentally gives your new Xbox One to your little sister, that creepy jerk kid down the street or some random kid halfway across the world
• Manages to pull all of this off by himself WORLDWIDE in a 24-hour time span (because, you know, time zones)

A child of color is a lot less likely to be frequently surrounded with positive images resembling themselves, given the fact that white skin = default as far as popular media is concerned...so the heartwarming & progressive concept that maybe Santa isn't white, or maybe he's more than one race/color, or possibly maybe he can even extend all his magic to change his skin tone at will, so he could match the little boys or girls he happens to be visiting right now, to make them feel more validated or at ease...maybe even more valued?

NOPE. TOO MUCH SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF. HOW THE HELL COULD A CHILD GRASP THAT CONCEPT?

THAT ISN'T LOGICAL ENOUGH.