Loralyn
I love Loralyn.
But not in the same quality of spirit by which she loves me.
And that is why I had to end our relationship.
To carry on otherwise would be dishonest to both of us.
There were two things that make this especially difficult.
One, is that this was Lyn's first functional relationship, at the age of 26. The problem lies in that she wishes to have family, and so her window of opportunity is not large.
The second is that she so sorely wanted something to attribute this to: a single event, a series of events, a deficiency on her part, or a desire on my part.
Given that I'm an engineer, and musician, and so forth, I typically have no troubles in expressing myself exactly as I mean to be heard.
But all I could say was how I felt; that there was a tension in my heart, and that I could just not feel myself loving her as much as she does me.
I love her as a friend, and as a companion...but I cannot feel my desire for her becoming anything else.
I know that if I ignore how I feel at heart, the same dilemmas will only present themselves, just later.
And to force or implant feelings otherwise would not be genuine love.
Not the same kind she has for me.
I tried to assure her that I do not want her to disappear from my world...to which she said,
"I don't think that will work Daniel. It will be too painful. I can't imagine loving anybody else more than I love you."
I feel so terrible.
But not in the same quality of spirit by which she loves me.
And that is why I had to end our relationship.
To carry on otherwise would be dishonest to both of us.
There were two things that make this especially difficult.
One, is that this was Lyn's first functional relationship, at the age of 26. The problem lies in that she wishes to have family, and so her window of opportunity is not large.
The second is that she so sorely wanted something to attribute this to: a single event, a series of events, a deficiency on her part, or a desire on my part.
Given that I'm an engineer, and musician, and so forth, I typically have no troubles in expressing myself exactly as I mean to be heard.
But all I could say was how I felt; that there was a tension in my heart, and that I could just not feel myself loving her as much as she does me.
I love her as a friend, and as a companion...but I cannot feel my desire for her becoming anything else.
I know that if I ignore how I feel at heart, the same dilemmas will only present themselves, just later.
And to force or implant feelings otherwise would not be genuine love.
Not the same kind she has for me.
I tried to assure her that I do not want her to disappear from my world...to which she said,
"I don't think that will work Daniel. It will be too painful. I can't imagine loving anybody else more than I love you."
I feel so terrible.