(no subject)
The majority of today was spent with Mom, David, and my Aunt Lanette (my mother's sister).
We (Mom, David and I) drove out to grass valley to visit my aunt and have lunch with her for the afternoon. It was a boring drive up, but I'd brought along a couple books with me to keep me occupied. I read what I could, but my mom was insistent on starting up conversations about subjects which were entirely uninteresting...trivia, really. Perhaps we're just not great at making small talk...
Lani is a minister for a church in grass valley that isn't really affixed to any denomination in particular. I think the more proper term for the facility is a "Spiritual Center" Either way, all of the people there were very friendly.
We ate lunch at a restaurant (the name of which I can't recall right now) that was very high priced; no appetizer on the menu was cheaper than $10, and the first item David pointed to cost $25. I feel bad enough when I buy a hot-link at Ford's for $4.
[I still need to repay Darren for the dinner he treated me and Janelle to ages ago at that Gaylord (I am still amused by the name) Indian restaurant.]
This place was very nice though. Very cleanly, with a patio outside being rained on gently by the pedals of plum-blossoms falling from above, and an atrium to dine in offering the comforts of the interior with the view of the exterior. We ate in the atrium. The lunch-time conversation was very light. I discussed a little about psychology and wellness with my aunt before my mother interrupted me and derailed it into health-care discussion.
I hate being interrupted. I hate being interrupted so much but so many people do it do me, seemingly without even noticing. This is probably one of the reasons why I am not so outspoken. I shouldn't have to compete to have a word in conversation. And it's not just random people. It's friends, family, schoolmates, and even strangers. Is it something about my tone of voice or the way I phrase my words that says to a person, "What I'm saying is actually entirely irrelevant and I myself actually have no interest in it. So please, if you would, start blithering about something entirely tangent to this discussion and then speak over me whenever I try to finish iterating my point until I become too impatient with you to bother carrying on about it and the conversation falls silent because you can only wring out so much from trivial trivia."
As demonstrated...I don't like being interrupted.
And for that, I greatly enjoy the company of those friends and family that can give time to let words and thoughts float, and who can be patient enough to let somebody express themselves entirely before responding.
Thank you.
So after the conversation got derailed a few times, I just felt like focusing on my bacon-cheeseburger (with mushrooms thrown in).
I also had a beer. It was a very relaxing lunch.
After that we stopped by some store, "The Western Wind" Buddha statues, butterfly-wing charms, soap made from bamboo. You know the kind of store. They had a giant gong which they let me hit, so I had fun with that.
From there we drove over to Lani's new digs.
As far as I've seen she's always lived in a condominium of some sort. I was thinking about it to myself, what some advantages could be.
Utilities would be easy to cover, as would insurance coverages. No lawns to tend to, and no maintenance such as plumbing, roofing, or insulation to do yourself.
I don't think it'd be the thing for me though.
But that's how I feel right now, anyways.
And what we think is not necessarily who we are.
I've never exactly tried living in a condominium, or taking care of my own house.
Time will tell.
After the tour we went back to the church where we'd left Mom's car.
David showed Lani his art portfolio.
I don't want to rain on his parade...but sometimes I feel embarrassed...well, more so I feel a little sad whenever David shows it off. Because he is so proud of his work, and I'm glad for that...there's nothing wrong in that. But I don't think he is realistically assessing how well he has to perform...but that's what he does, he ignores the world. I try to tel him things, give him ideas.
"Hey David, I know something you should try doing. Once a week, you should pick a character from one of the cartoons you watch, find a picture of them on the internet, and print it out. Then each day of the week, try to draw the character without tracing it; see how closely you can replicate the art style, or if you are adventurous try to draw them in another pose."
But he doesn't. He sits at home every day just watching the television and wasting time on the internet.
And when he shows his art all he hears is "Oh it is so good, I like how this looks."
But I've seen some of the art he is going to have to compete with...
And I feel sad because everybody is setting him up for failure.
I've shared my opinion with this to my father, and mother, and close family.
My father says, "He's an adult now and he has to discipline himself to work."
My mother says, "He's challenged and you should be more motivating to him. He is working hard."
My Grandmother would say, "It's because your parents spoiled you too much. You have no work ethic."
Ryan would say, "Yup, but what have you done about it hm?" As though it were solely my fault.
With my Dad especially...it's like he wants to see growth in David without giving him a push in the right direction.
Or, the analogy as it sits in my mind...
He wants to plant a tree and watch it grow. You ask, "How will it get water?"
"Simple, from the river." But the river is too far for its roots to reach.
I think the tree should be brought to the river, whereas my father wants it the other way around.
If it were up to me, David would get a minimal amount of money, if any, each month, and it would be to pay for car insurance.
He would be made to test for his permit at the DMV every other week.
He would be made to eat healthier food, and say goodbye to pop-tarts, fritos, and soda.
He would be made to ride his bike for good health every day or two.
He would be made to get up at a reasonable time, and get showered and groomed.
He would be made to cook meals until he knew how to make them without having to ask about any of the steps.
Because if he, or anybody, thinks his world is hard, or has been hard...
I just don't see a good future for him, with the way things are going.
And I know it could change, and what I would do to change it.
But I don't know if he'd just lapse back into the trappings of his comforts.
I have love for my brother...
But I know he knows better than to be as lazy as he is.
And I have even told him before that if he digs his own hole, I will not be there to pull him out.
If something unfortunate happens...if somebody hits him in a car accident...if he has a health issue arise...if some act of nature takes his shelter from him...I will be there.
But if it is of his own doing, I will let him learn just how well off he has been all his life on his own.
The car ride back was as dull as the car ride up.
But during our very first conversation of the ride my mom cut me off mid-sentence, so I didn't even continue going on about what I'd said when she was content and finished. I flipped through a Calvin & Hobbes book my brother had brought along, and found a fun little page that reflected exactly how I envision my own internal thought processes. Maybe I'll scan it and post it tomorrow...but basically, inside Calvin's mind are a bunch of Calvin's running around.
Once we returned home I spent the remainder of my time reading some Lovecraft short stories, playing guitar, and playing a dumb little game called minecraft. I'm going to see if I can learn "Air" by Bach before the break has passed.
I'll have to make the most of what time I have though: my series of community service projects starts tomorrow, and goes until Friday.
8AM to 3PM every day.
We'll see how it goes.
We (Mom, David and I) drove out to grass valley to visit my aunt and have lunch with her for the afternoon. It was a boring drive up, but I'd brought along a couple books with me to keep me occupied. I read what I could, but my mom was insistent on starting up conversations about subjects which were entirely uninteresting...trivia, really. Perhaps we're just not great at making small talk...
Lani is a minister for a church in grass valley that isn't really affixed to any denomination in particular. I think the more proper term for the facility is a "Spiritual Center" Either way, all of the people there were very friendly.
We ate lunch at a restaurant (the name of which I can't recall right now) that was very high priced; no appetizer on the menu was cheaper than $10, and the first item David pointed to cost $25. I feel bad enough when I buy a hot-link at Ford's for $4.
[I still need to repay Darren for the dinner he treated me and Janelle to ages ago at that Gaylord (I am still amused by the name) Indian restaurant.]
This place was very nice though. Very cleanly, with a patio outside being rained on gently by the pedals of plum-blossoms falling from above, and an atrium to dine in offering the comforts of the interior with the view of the exterior. We ate in the atrium. The lunch-time conversation was very light. I discussed a little about psychology and wellness with my aunt before my mother interrupted me and derailed it into health-care discussion.
I hate being interrupted. I hate being interrupted so much but so many people do it do me, seemingly without even noticing. This is probably one of the reasons why I am not so outspoken. I shouldn't have to compete to have a word in conversation. And it's not just random people. It's friends, family, schoolmates, and even strangers. Is it something about my tone of voice or the way I phrase my words that says to a person, "What I'm saying is actually entirely irrelevant and I myself actually have no interest in it. So please, if you would, start blithering about something entirely tangent to this discussion and then speak over me whenever I try to finish iterating my point until I become too impatient with you to bother carrying on about it and the conversation falls silent because you can only wring out so much from trivial trivia."
As demonstrated...I don't like being interrupted.
And for that, I greatly enjoy the company of those friends and family that can give time to let words and thoughts float, and who can be patient enough to let somebody express themselves entirely before responding.
Thank you.
So after the conversation got derailed a few times, I just felt like focusing on my bacon-cheeseburger (with mushrooms thrown in).
I also had a beer. It was a very relaxing lunch.
After that we stopped by some store, "The Western Wind" Buddha statues, butterfly-wing charms, soap made from bamboo. You know the kind of store. They had a giant gong which they let me hit, so I had fun with that.
From there we drove over to Lani's new digs.
As far as I've seen she's always lived in a condominium of some sort. I was thinking about it to myself, what some advantages could be.
Utilities would be easy to cover, as would insurance coverages. No lawns to tend to, and no maintenance such as plumbing, roofing, or insulation to do yourself.
I don't think it'd be the thing for me though.
But that's how I feel right now, anyways.
And what we think is not necessarily who we are.
I've never exactly tried living in a condominium, or taking care of my own house.
Time will tell.
After the tour we went back to the church where we'd left Mom's car.
David showed Lani his art portfolio.
I don't want to rain on his parade...but sometimes I feel embarrassed...well, more so I feel a little sad whenever David shows it off. Because he is so proud of his work, and I'm glad for that...there's nothing wrong in that. But I don't think he is realistically assessing how well he has to perform...but that's what he does, he ignores the world. I try to tel him things, give him ideas.
"Hey David, I know something you should try doing. Once a week, you should pick a character from one of the cartoons you watch, find a picture of them on the internet, and print it out. Then each day of the week, try to draw the character without tracing it; see how closely you can replicate the art style, or if you are adventurous try to draw them in another pose."
But he doesn't. He sits at home every day just watching the television and wasting time on the internet.
And when he shows his art all he hears is "Oh it is so good, I like how this looks."
But I've seen some of the art he is going to have to compete with...
And I feel sad because everybody is setting him up for failure.
I've shared my opinion with this to my father, and mother, and close family.
My father says, "He's an adult now and he has to discipline himself to work."
My mother says, "He's challenged and you should be more motivating to him. He is working hard."
My Grandmother would say, "It's because your parents spoiled you too much. You have no work ethic."
Ryan would say, "Yup, but what have you done about it hm?" As though it were solely my fault.
With my Dad especially...it's like he wants to see growth in David without giving him a push in the right direction.
Or, the analogy as it sits in my mind...
He wants to plant a tree and watch it grow. You ask, "How will it get water?"
"Simple, from the river." But the river is too far for its roots to reach.
I think the tree should be brought to the river, whereas my father wants it the other way around.
If it were up to me, David would get a minimal amount of money, if any, each month, and it would be to pay for car insurance.
He would be made to test for his permit at the DMV every other week.
He would be made to eat healthier food, and say goodbye to pop-tarts, fritos, and soda.
He would be made to ride his bike for good health every day or two.
He would be made to get up at a reasonable time, and get showered and groomed.
He would be made to cook meals until he knew how to make them without having to ask about any of the steps.
Because if he, or anybody, thinks his world is hard, or has been hard...
I just don't see a good future for him, with the way things are going.
And I know it could change, and what I would do to change it.
But I don't know if he'd just lapse back into the trappings of his comforts.
I have love for my brother...
But I know he knows better than to be as lazy as he is.
And I have even told him before that if he digs his own hole, I will not be there to pull him out.
If something unfortunate happens...if somebody hits him in a car accident...if he has a health issue arise...if some act of nature takes his shelter from him...I will be there.
But if it is of his own doing, I will let him learn just how well off he has been all his life on his own.
The car ride back was as dull as the car ride up.
But during our very first conversation of the ride my mom cut me off mid-sentence, so I didn't even continue going on about what I'd said when she was content and finished. I flipped through a Calvin & Hobbes book my brother had brought along, and found a fun little page that reflected exactly how I envision my own internal thought processes. Maybe I'll scan it and post it tomorrow...but basically, inside Calvin's mind are a bunch of Calvin's running around.
Once we returned home I spent the remainder of my time reading some Lovecraft short stories, playing guitar, and playing a dumb little game called minecraft. I'm going to see if I can learn "Air" by Bach before the break has passed.
I'll have to make the most of what time I have though: my series of community service projects starts tomorrow, and goes until Friday.
8AM to 3PM every day.
We'll see how it goes.