Monologue I just wrote.
I got inspired to write a comedic monologue after Drama try-outs today, and i'm glad I did, cause i wrote a pretty good one, I think. Please comment on it, cause it spent me a whole whopping 10 minutes on it. And Amanda, don't read this!!! You have to call me to let me finish the rest of it, because you'll make some comment about it, and then I'll get mad. Here it is:
Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it, I lost my monologue! My audition is any minute, I’m probably next inline, and I haven’t memorized my monologue completely, and I don’t have any material to a cold reading. Man, I don’t believe this. (Beat) Oh my gosh, it’s my turn, why does every trouble in the world have to leave everyone else and say, “Oh, let’s forget about the bank robber, he’ll get away with a couple thousand dollars, let’s go pick on the germaphobic guy who washes his hands every time he puts his hands in his pockets.” (Beat) Oh me, well… I, um… I sort of lost my monologue. (Beat) Yeah, that’s right, lost it. (Beat) How did I lose it, well I was just sort of holding it and then I…. Oh, here it is, I put it in my pocket. Yeah just silly me, that was my warm-up monologue. How did you like that. Well if you liked that, wait until you hear my real monologue. Do you mind if I do a cold reading? (Beat) Okay, here it goes… Well, well, well, aren’t you the little cheater. I caught you red handed, you tried to steal my answers to the math exam we’re taking. Beat? Well I don’t know what that means, but whatever, I’ll just continue with the monologue. No, I wasn’t cheating, I was stopping this cheater that was taking my answers. Beat? Okay, I’m tired of all this, first I lose my monologue, then I have to do a cold reading because I haven’t memorized my monologue completely, oops, did I let the cat out of the bag? Sorry about that, but anyways, as I was saying, then I keep on seeing this beat thing! What the heck is a beat?!?! (Beat) Oh.
(End)