Fic Ennui
Fic: Ennui
Characters: JJ, Katie, Cook, Freddie
Pairing: Katie/JJ
Rating: Hard R
PART TWO
One week later he finds himself banging hard on the door of their dilapidated shed, trying to make his voice discernable over the
cacophony of earnest Indie music JJ doesn’t recognise blaring from inside.
“Freds,” he yells, banging on the door with all his might. “Freds!”
His fist is almost numb before Freddie wrenches the door open. A gust of pot- drenched air hits JJ square in the face.
“What?” Freddie asks tersely.
“Can I come in?”
“Fine,” Freddie turns and wanders over to his worn arm chair and flopping down on it with a sigh, but having the decency to turn off
the music.
“Since when do you lock the shed?”
“Maybe I didn’t want any visitors,” Freddie says petulantly, lighting a new roach. JJ’s familiar with his tone, one which signals Freddie
is moments away from snapping.
“Right,” JJ says and takes a seat across from his. He’s used to Freddie’s moods now. “What’s wrong?”
Freddie lights a spliff and takes and takes a long drag. He shakes his head bleakly at JJ.
“Freds...”
“She’s gone, J,” Freddie sighs, stares at the roach in his hand miserably. “I thought she’d fucking talk to me, text me or something.
But she’s just...gone.”
“Oh...” JJ’s mind races. Shit, fuck, shit.
“I don’t know what to do, mate. I thought, after everything, things would be clear, you know?”
“Nothing feels clear anymore, Freds.”
“What would you know about? ” he laughs thinly. “Do still fancy her, J? Fair enough, let’s all be miserable then.”
“No,” and it’s only when the words are out he realises he truly means it. “No, I definitely, definitely do not fancy her.”
Freddie clenches his jaw, an unreadable expression milling on his face. Suddenly he shrugs and listlessly sinks into a faded armchair.
“I wish I knew how to make it stop. I think... fuck it, I think she’s broken me.”
“Not just you... Cook.”
“I...yeah, I guess.”
“I know something that’ll make you feel better, there’s a houseparty, tonight. It’ll be fun, and we could use some fun, Cook will be
there and...”he swallows. “Please Freds. Can we be ok again?”
Freddie looks at him solemnly, picking up a still smouldering roach and they stare as smoke rises from the dimly flickering flame.
“I’ll see you tonight, then.”
It shouldn’t feel like a victory, but it does.
~~~~~~
He’s a bit locked on.
It’s around one a.m and the hitherto quiet house party has taken a rambunctious turn. With the arrival of an exuberant Thomas, who was
hired as the DJ, the staid living room has morphed into a make shift mosh pit. The whole place is packed to the brim with people drunk or
high or some combination of both.
Cook, who thrives on chaos, drawn to it like a homing beacon, is the first person to gleefully flings himself onto the heaving crowd.
Effy’s vanishing act wasn’t the quick fix JJ hoped for. Now, Cook and Freddie have discovered a new way to goad each other. They’ve now made pulling girls into a competition, an inane game of one-upmanship. It seems to JJ, as he watches them both chat up a gaggle of girls in the corner, that they’ve replaced one source of friction with another.
He lost sight of them ten minutes ago, so he finds himself all alone amidst a crowd of people. The air is thick with sweat mingled with
perfume and aftershave and it’s a vile combination. Breathing is becoming a bit of an issue and he knows he’s perhaps two or three
minutes away from locking on completely.
He needs to find a bathroom before he makes a complete tit of himself. He bounds up a flight of stairs and starts groping around the darkened hallway for a light. He hears faint moans reverberating through closed doors and he quickens his pace.
He yelps loudly when a door is flung open a few feet down the hall. The cry whittles and dies in his throat when an irate Katie storms
out.
“Jesus. Fuck,” she snarls, not seeing JJ. A tall beefy looking bloke follows her out, fumbling with his fly.
“What the fuck is going on?” he slurs.
“No, the actual question is what the fuck were you doing with your phone out, you pathetic sadfuck.”
“Babe,” he drawls, and there’s something in his tone that makes JJ want to smack the sleazy look right off his face. “I wasn’t filming, alright. Stop being paranoid and let’s get back to it.”
Katie’s scowl deepens. “No, ugh. You had your chance.”
“Babe...”
“Are you deaf or something? I said no. So you can just fuck off now.”
“Fuck you,” he snarls back his pleasant demeanour forgotten. JJ finds himself walking towards them like he were being drawn forward by a
string. “So what the fuck, then, you some kind of lez now, like your sister?”
Katie slaps him so hard he staggers backwards a bit, his cheek already ruddy red. He’s about to step right into Katie’s personal space
when JJ nips in between them.
“Problem?” JJ asks, his nerves like kindling, ready to light. The bloke looks bemused for a second before shaking his head and
muttering a faint “fuck this” under his breath before stalking off. JJ watches his retreating figure and feels oddly hollow at the sight.
When he turns around he spots that Katie has retreated back into the room. He’s all tingly, and probably in need of a vat of mango juice, but he knows he can’t leave Katie in there, not when he can hear a faint, choked sniffle.
“Katie?”
He can see her now, sat on the edge of the bed, staring bleakly at the cream coloured carpet. There’s silence for a long beat before she raises her head. She fixes him with a glare so full of ire he feels it like a punch.
“What did you have to come in for? I had that covered, JJ.”
“No, I wasn’t trying to be in the way, or anything, but he was being an absolute twat...”
“Yeah, an absolute twat I was dealing with.”
“Alright, alright... was he...was he your boyfriend?”
“No, you tit. I dumped my now ex-boyfriend because he was a boring tosser. That guy...” Katie waves her hand dismissively as she gets up from the bed. “That guy was just there.”
“Ok.” JJ’s brow furrows in concern when he sees Katie trip and almost fall. “Are you ok?”
“Yes,” she snaps, and JJ thinks he can see a faint glint of tears inher eyes. She scowls while she begins groping around the dimly lit room. “Where did I leave them again? Jesus. Fucking shoes...”
“Right well, obviously...,”
“Seriously, JJ, don’t even bother. I want to be alone now, alright.”
He blanches. It shouldn’t sting, but it does. He’s well aware Katie’s volatile and a bit of a bitch, really. God knows two months ago he’d grab any possibility to scuttle away from her, but looking at Katie now, alone and despondent in some strangers bedroom, well, two months ago seems like a long time.
Still, the last hour has been all round horrendous and JJ feels the ominous faint rumbling of anxiety churning in his gut, and, oh no...no... “shit! Fuck, god, shit. Shit. Loser. Spazzo...ugh, Autistic fucktard.”
“JJ!” Katie says, striding over and slapping him lightly on the face.
“You’re doing that mental thing again.”
“Oh,” he feels much better now, Katie’s slap leaves a satisfying tingle on his cheek. “Thanks.”
“Yeah well,” Katie shrugs helplessly. “Can’t find my fucking shoes. I definitely was wearing them when I came in here.”
“I’ll help you look, unless you still want me to go...”
Katie just shrugs, and she looks so sad JJ wishes it was within his power to wipe that look off her face forever.
She’s distracted so he takes the opportunity to take a good look ather for first time. She’s different than previously at the pub, her hair’s done up in a messy bun with wisps of it charmingly curling around the nape of her neck. She’s wearing heavy dark eyeliner and the bright cherry lip stick she has on that’s thoroughly smudged (from kisses, he guesses, or at least, he hopes it’s just from kissing).
It hits JJ know with an uneasy jolt that she looks more like she used to, before Gobbler’s End. He can’t quite fathom why it bothers him, but it does. Katie’s face is lathered with make up and she’s wearing tight three- quarter pants and a garish fluffy leopard print top with her breasts....her breasts...almost spilling out entirely.
“JJ,” Katie’s voice sounds intrigued and laden with mischief. “Are you staring at my tits again?”
“What?” She’s coming towards him, and he can’t drag his eyes away from the provocative way she moves her hips as she struts over. Her breast are suddenly right there, directly in his line of vision, and he can’t look away, even if he wanted to, not that he would, because, hello, breasts. They looks so soft and supple, and he can see the outline of a nipple and he suddenly can’t think of anything else but how they would feel under his palm.
And, yeah. Definitely, definitely, locking on.
“Yes, perhaps, sorry, sorry,” and he squeezes his eyes shut, but it doesn’t stop the image of Katie’s breasts invading his memory. If he was normal, if he was Cook, he’d move forward, do something other than stay rooted to one spot.
“JJ,” Katie slides a hand down his face and he opens his eyes at looks at her breathlessly. Her eyes are gleaming with something he can’t name, as if she’s relishing coaxing the tremors of arousal he feels whenever his eyes flitter to her lips.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, this cannot, cannot, be happening.
Katie smirks and looks more at ease, as if she’s finally on familiar ground. A sense of foreboding briefly flitters over him, but dissipates once she grips his hips and stands snugly up against him. She smirks when she brushes up against his hardening crotch.
“Of course you’re looking,” she whispers, right next to his ear. “They look fucking good in this top, don’t they?”
Before JJ can stutter out a strangled yes, she’s on him, kissing him furiously. She grinds up against his jeans and brings a hand up the grip the back of his neck, eliciting a slight gasp from JJ when her nails sink into his skin. They’re kissing hard and within a moment Katie trails a tongue across his bottom lip. He reacts, can’t help himself, by opening his mouth and letting her in. He feels himself ache when she deftly flicks her tongue against his. Despite Katie looking small and soft and lovely there’s nothing delicate in her kisses. Everything is rough and fast, almost cursory, and JJ struggles to keep pace with her. Within seconds Katie walks him backwards towards the bed, a warm hand darting underneath his shirt. JJ’s gasps loudly when she drags her fingernails right down his stomach.
“Oh, oh, Jesus...”
The back of his shins meet the edge of the bed and with a determined nudge Katie pushes him into a sitting position. Before JJ can even respond she’s straddling him, kissing him ardently as she grinds her hips forward. JJ’s hands immediately grip her waist, eager to aid her movements, thrusting forward to create a hot friction between them. He breaks away from her lips and kisses down her neck. He nips and the nape and then sucks on the skin, moaning softly every time he hears Katie’s breath hitch.
She grabs a handful of hair, and it hurts and bit, but he forgets about it the second she squashes their lips together. Katie lets out a hiss, bites down on his lip until he’s hissing back, and before he can do anything she’s pushing him down until he’s lying flat on his back.
She’s lies on him immediately and her breasts are suddenly right there, squashed up against his chest and he slides a hand up between their bodies and palms one gently, stroking the underside until he hears Katie gasp. She sounds a tad surprised and JJ would be smug if his brain could comprehend anything other than “what the frigging fragging fuck”
When he gets to her nipple, he finds them not hard enough for his liking. He pinches it lightly, then drags his thumbs in a circular motion, round and round, until he feels it slowly rising underneath him. Katie’s moan is loud and it just sounds lovely, and JJ can’t help but feel satisfied about making her sound a little bit desperate.
Her breasts are...well, magnificent. They’re round, firm yet surprisingly supple. JJ can’t stop touching them, feeling how soft they are under his palms. Katie’s lips pull away from him with a sloppy pop and she sits up, still straddling him. The sight of her, breathing heavily on top of him, nipples standing to attention, sucks the air right out of his lungs.
“Come on, J” she says after a moment. “I know you fancy me, but I don’t have all night so let’s get to it.”
She’s tugging at the zipper on his trousers, and she’s about a nano second away from finally freeing his cock. He wants this, more than perhaps anything, but there’s something there, writ large on Katie’s face that makes him pause. Boredom and frustration and a whole bunch of other emotions JJ can’t decipher flitter all over her face and it’s enough for him to gently swat her hands away from his now (rather painfully hard) cock.
“Katie,” the words begin to cascade out. “I’m really, well, this is entirely unexpected, and lovely, very, very, very lovely, but I don’t think...I don’t think we should do this...”
“What the fuck?” Katie’s voice hitches slightly. “Jesus Christ, JJ, you want to stop now? What the hell is wrong with you ?”
“ Lots of things actually, but, wait....”
She slides off him so swiftly he can feel the residual warmth from her body lingering over him still.
“Katie!”
She strides out the door without even sparing him a look back while he’s sits up and fumbles his fly.
“Shitification!” he curses. He finally manages to sort his trousers out and starts to stagger after her.
He wishes he knew how to stop fucking everything up.
~~~~
He’s been looking for Katie for a good twenty minutes, darting around from one room to the next and with each passing minute he becomes even more frantic.
“JJ!” a firm hand yanks him back. He sees Cook in front him, his lank hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. He’s breathless and gleeful, a wide grin stretched over his face. He pulls JJ into a firm hug and squeezes him tight. “I was looking for you, mate. Got some very pretty ladies who would very much like to meet you...”
“Cook!” JJ struggles out of his embrace. “Have you seen Katie?”
“Katie?” Cook looks puzzled for a moment. Then his whole face lights up. “Oh yeah, she just went past. Told her that her tits look fucking mint in that top.”
“Where’d she go?”
“What’s wrong, J?” Freddie asks, popping up suddenly from his left. He looks a bit stoned, and a bit high, and he’s smiling for the first time in forever and JJ wishes he could enjoy it.
“Freddie, do you where Katie has gone?”
“Katie?”
“Yes, Katie Fitch, Katie. Katie.”
“ Um, she walked past, but...I dunno.”
“Which direction?”
“Fuck, it J” Cook grins. “Concentrating on other girls, aren’t we, Freddie?”
“Cook,” JJ bellows. “Which direction?”
“Fuck,” Freddie stutters. “Out the kitchen door, I think.”
JJ spins around and moves away so swiftly he barely catches Cook’s faint “JJ, why the fuck do you even care..."
JJ strides outside and winces when he feels cold sweat trickling down the back of his neck. He’s standing on a patio and there’s a large crowd right to his left, gathered around watching Thomas rap. JJ deduces Katie could not have exited left and must have turned right down a gloomy looking side street.
Thomas waves at him briefly and JJ twitches in return. He can barely breathe and it’s like he can feel anxiety settling on his skin. It’s too crowded, the air too stifling, and if he doesn’t find Katie, he doesn’t know what he’ll do.
He jogs down the alley way, casting eager, but fruitless glances around. He can’t seen anything other than a smattering of couples surreptitiously snogging behind a clump of trees to his left.
“Fiddlesticks!” he groans, slowing down as he reaches the end of the street. The music becomes a distance hum in the background but he can still feel the faint vibrations of the beat under his feet. “Katie! Katie!”
“You don’t take a hint, do you?”
He spins around and sees her sitting on the curb, sans shoes and looking utterly miserable. He can barely make her out, half shrouded in darkness, the only light coming from the window of a nearby house.
The venom, for now, has left her so he takes the opportunity to venture forward and sit next to her.
“Well I’m not very socially adept, if that’s what you mean,” JJ says, trying to cajole a smile out of her.
She rolls her eyes, but it’s lacking any malice. She looks down at the ground and for the first time JJ’s notices her blackened feet.
“You shouldn’t walk around in bare feet. You’ll injure yourself.”
“Who cares? It’s not like I have places to be” Katie replies sullenly.
“That makes two of us.”
Katie doesn’t reply, just stares moodily ahead.
“I’m sorry, Katie, but I think it’s important we talk about what happened, or, what didn’t happen, but could of happened, I suppose. And...”
“There’s nothing to say, J” Katie says caustically. “Having my head smashed in obviously made me insane. Otherwise why else would I hook up with someone who wears a...” Katie squints at him “is that a fucking Transformers t-shirt?”
“What, you don’t like Optimus Prime?”
“Right, I’m sorry but I didn’t spend my entire life speaking geek,” Katie says tartly, pulling out a cigarette from her purse.
JJ feels a frission of annoyance run through him, but it doesn’t linger. He’s best friends with Cook after all.
“Katie, what’s going on...”
“What, you suddenly give a shit now? That’s well lovely, JJ.” Katie lights the cigarette and exhales harshly, watching the smoke twist and curl in the breeze. “I guess I’m not fit enough for you, is that it?” she laughs bitterly.
“No! What?” JJ stammers, feels like this conversation is rapidly careening out of his control. He tries to catch her eye but she’s determined not to look at him. “Katie, Katie.”
“Just fuck off, JJ.”
“No,” he snaps and this jolts Katie from her stupor. She looks at him as if noticing him for the first time.
“You’ve got to stop because you’ve got it all wrong. Because, well, I have perfect twenty- twenty vision and I think you are, just...so pretty. Very, very, very pretty.”
“That’s...you think I’m pretty because you think I look like Emily,” Katie replies, although the hostility has drained from her voice, leaving her sounding tired all of a sudden. “Don’t look so shocked, I was there for Naomi’s little pissing contest at the Love Ball. You slept with Emily. You fancy Emily.”
“No, wait, yes, but only to the sleeping with part.” JJ winces, doesn’t like the dredging up a memory he’s trying to bury. “I don’t fancy her. I don’t even know her, not any more. I wish everyone would get over it because I am and I’d like to be friends with Emily without pissing off Naomi, somehow.”
“Maybe you should have thought of that before you shagged my sister“ Katie smirks nastily. “You’re really good at pissing girls off, aren’t you, JJ?”
“Listen!” JJ snaps. Katie flinches, but then meets his gaze defiantly.
“Just...” JJ takes a deep breath. “I wanted to let you know that I did...well, I think you could tell exactly how much I was enjoying myself before, obviously, physical reaction and all, and I wanted it, and by extension, you, definitively, but I just... unlike what happened with Emily... when I’m next with a girl, I want to be with someone who won’t want to take it back the next day, I guess."
Katie stares back at him for an interminable moment, pursing her lips just so, making his mind flitter to all sorts of utterly inappropriate thoughts. Finally she sighs, rolling her eyes at no one in particular. She takes a (startlingly provocative) drag of her cigarette.
“You get flustered when you’re embarrassed, you know.”
“Yes, I’m well aware of that. Sorry.”
“Jesus, don’t apologize for it,” Katie rebukes, but it’s so mild JJ can’t help but grin back.
“Katie...what’s going...”
“So...what were you doing,” Katie interrupts quickly. “ Stomping around by yourself at that pathetic excuse for a party? Where’s those musketeer tossers you’re always with?”
“Yes well...” and JJ’s startled to think how pleasant it was not to worry about Cook or Freddie for an hour. “We’re not...always together, anymore.”
“What happened?”
“Lots of little things, I think,” he says slowly, testing the words out. He doesn’t like how final that sounds, like he just announced the last rites of his friendship.
“It’s was that cunt, wasn’t it? She just came along and fucked everything up. Like she does with everyone.”
“Yes,” JJ says, and pauses to think a little more. “No, actually... I don’t think it’s possible she could’ve fucked everything up all by herself.”
Katie blanches, and for the first time JJ wonders what exactly transpired between her and Effy.
They’re quiet for a long moment, and JJ listens to the faint sounds of the party. He wishes he knew how to untangle the mess they’re all in now.
“What are you going to do now?” Katie asks suddenly, her voice soft and barely above a whisper. He’s not sure he likes seeing Katie so brittle. He reaches over and covers her hand with his own, faintly surprised when she doesn’t jerk away.
“I don’t know. I thought it was going to get easier, you know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Katie says, stubbing her cigarette on the asphalt and giving his hand a faint squeeze. “But fuck them, right?” she says very unconvincingly.
“Yeah, fuck them,” he says softly, not meaning it anymore than she does.
She squeezes his hand, and actually threads her fingers through his. His breathing becomes rapid, which is ridiculous, to feel so much at so little. Her hands are so soft, though, and small, and fit so snugly under his, and suddenly he’s right back in the bedroom, feeling Katie’s mouth on his. The memory so vivid he shifts around on the pavement awkwardly, feeling utterly exposed.
Katie seems to notice, smirking and glancing down at his crotch. The mood between them has shifted, and it’s making him feel both turned on and unsettled. Words, unbidden, begin to tumble out of his mouth.
“Well, you see, me, Freddie and Cook, it’s always been us. Then there was Effy, and it got all fucked up, and then there was a race and a boat and then she was gone and I thought...I actually thought that would be the end of it. But now...”JJ laughs humourlessly. “ Well, finally, they can be in the same room together. Except now Cook and Freds are competing to see who can fuck the most girls while pretending she doesn’t exist; which I think makes them, us, whatever, more fucked up than we were before.”
Katie squeezes his hand and smiles at him weakly. “ At least you don’t live with them. I know the solution- the three of you should just break up.”
“That’s not possible.”
“I don’t accept that. If they’re being pathetic tosspots then you drop them to the curb, end of story. There’s no way I would put up with it."
“You put up with a lot of things.”
“Only what I have to,” Katie says grimly.
“Katie...is everything ok? With your mum and all that?”
“What’s it to you?” she snaps, anger bubbling up to the surface. She tries to tug her hand away but JJ holds onto her tight, never letting his gaze lose hers.
“Fuck it,” she says quietly and all of a sudden her defiance has deflated. “Ugh, Emily, Mum, idiots...they all are, my whole fucking family.”
“I don’t understand,” JJ says gently. “Can’t your mum see...well, doesn’t your mum know about Emily being gay?”
“Mum can’t miss it” Katie snorts. “Emily’s doing her best to be as gay as possible. Which is..whatever, it's fine, yeah, but it’s like she’s trying to piss her off, talking about Naomi all the time, staying with her for fucking days, not calling... and mum, like, always has to say something about, always at dinner it seems, for fuck sake and...” Katie closes her eyes. “It’s my job it keep it together, yeah, otherwise no one would.”
“I get that.”
“Really? No offense, babe, but that’s unlikely.”
“No, I mean I get it. I really do,” and then he does what feels themost natural thing in the world; he leans over and kisses her.
He can barely stand it, how his heart clangs almost painfully in his chest. It’s so different, than the desperate kisses before, more tentative and soft, and it makes him almost shiver with nerves.
He moans, very softly, when she starts to kiss back, and he decides, there and then, that’s it the very best thing in the world, being kissed by Katie Fitch.
Katie pulls back suddenly, eyes wide and disbelieving. “What. The. fuck.”
“Is something wrong?” JJ asks, suddenly anxious.
“Yes,” Katie says. Then she shakes her head helplessly. “No.”
He’s confused, and about to tell her so, when she presses her mouth to his again.
It’s firmer and harder but doesn’t reek of desperation and he feels a tremor of desire run straight through him.
He could definitely, definitely, get used to this.
He likes the feel of her pressed against him, her curves nestling warmly against him. Their kisses turn languid and deep as he takes more of her into his mouth. She tastes like peach schnapps and cherry and something indescribably Katie. It’s a monumental turn on and he gasps when Katie wraps a hand around his forearm and squeezes. He reaches around and tentatively holds her waist. He holds her like she’s fragile, and he’s too scared to really let go because at any moment he swears Katie’s going to come to her senses stop this.
“JJ,” and she’s pulling away softly and looks at him firmly. “It’s alright I’m not going to break or anything.”
“Ok...but I just...why are we doing this?”
“I don’t know...”
JJ winces, and Katie’s eyes widen in concern.
“Hey,” she says softly. “It’s because...you’re lovely and you’re sweet, JJ. That’s why.”
“Well, that does seem like a legitimate reason for us to keep doing what we’re doing."
Katie’s laugh is swallowed by JJ’s lips. They’re kissing more firmly now and he’s got a hand in her hair and she throws a leg over him and she’s straddling him and it’s felt like nothing ever has before...
Katie lets out a exasperated groan and JJ pulls back. He’s confused until he hears a ringtone (Lady Gaga he thinks) coming from Katie’s bag.
He’s more than a little pleased how annoyed Katie looks when she pushes herself off him and sits down next to him to answer her phone.
“Hello? What the fuck do you want, Ems? Wait...how the fuck did she do that...actually I don’t want to know. Ok, ok, calm down, I’ll be there in a second...God,” Katie sighs, aggressively snapping her phone shut. She shoots JJ an apologetic look. “Emily thinks Naomi has broken her wrist or something. Twats. They’re back at the party, so...”
“I can help if you like.”
“No, I’ve got this,” Katie shoots him a regretful look and he feels his heart do a funny flip flop at the sight. She extends her hand tugs him to his feet. “She’s my sister, my problem.”
“Ok, well,” he’s unsure what to do, whether a few clandestine snoggingsession have shifted the dynamic between them. He offers her a half smile and a tentative wave good bye, but before he gets far she stops him.
“JJ, look ... I don’t do apologies, yeah. But I shouldn’t....that wasn’t right, what I did back at the party, like molesting you and shit, you know?”
“I didn’t mind,” he stutters, and blushes when she smirks at him. “I mean, yes, apology accepted.”
“And maybe...”
“What?”
“You could...” Katie sighs heavily. “God, why can’t you...”
“I would like to see you. We should hang out, again,” JJ blurts. His heart is rattling against his rib cage and he almost wishes she’d stop staring at him. Finally, she shoots him a small smile.
“Yeah, ok. When you’re not chasing those idiots around.”
“Just to clarify, this means you would like me to call you?” JJ asks seriously.
“Yes, JJ.”
“Good,” JJ grins. “Good.”
“I’ll see you around, J,” Katie says, shaking her head, looking as if she can’t quite believe her own words. Faintly, he now hears people calling his name from up the street.
“JJ. JJ!” Cook and Freddie materialises out of the gloom, stopping short when they spot Katie strutting past them.
“Katie?” Freddie asks.
“Freddie,” Katie says stiffly, walking past him briskly. They gape at her uselessly as they all watch her retreating figure get smaller and smaller.
“What the fuck was that?” Cook asks incredulously.
“Leave it Cook,” JJ says weakly as he turns and walks away from him.
“No, seriously, man...”
“I said leave it.”
“Alright,” Cook says affably, jogging to keep up with JJ. “Hold it, stop,” he grabs his forearm, and JJ jerks away.
“What are you doing here, Cook? What happened to all those girls you were talking to?”
“Fuck em, J, they’re not important.” Cook frowns. “We were looking for you everywhere, mate. Thought you were behaving barmier than usual.”
“Thanks.”
“No worries,” Freddie grins. “ Well, I don’t know about you lads, but all the strenuous activities I’ve been partaking in has really taken it out of me. What do you say, shall we go get some kebabs?”
“Strenuous activities, are you joking?” Cook sneers. He grins at JJ. “Don’t listen to him, he only fiddled with some bird’s tits. I’m the one who’s done all the heavy lifting.”
“Bollocks,” Freddie snaps back. “JJ, which one of us looks more shagged?”
“Fuck off,” JJ snarls. They both gape at him. “Do you actually hear yourself, what you’re saying? She’s gone, and it’s probable she’s not coming back, but you still have to fight with each over,” JJ waves his hands around helplessly, “ about this stuff.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, J,” Cook snaps belligerently. “This what we’ve always done.”
“You’re wrong. We used to have fun. We used to not fight. But now...come find me when you sort this out because I’m done.”
“JJ, come on, man,” JJ has started to walk away but Cook follows him.
“This is fucked, come on, we’re sorry, let’s just go somewhere, the three of us, and...”
“No.” JJ turns and looks him straight in the eye. “Sort it out.”
“JJ!” Cook says, and JJ can spot Freddie starting to walk after them.
“Fuck it, don’t be...we’ll be alright, won’t we? JJ!”
“I hope so,” JJ says quietly, shooting them a small smile as he walks away into the gloom.
“I really, really, hope so.”
~~~~
Characters: JJ, Katie, Cook, Freddie
Pairing: Katie/JJ
Rating: Hard R
PART TWO
One week later he finds himself banging hard on the door of their dilapidated shed, trying to make his voice discernable over the
cacophony of earnest Indie music JJ doesn’t recognise blaring from inside.
“Freds,” he yells, banging on the door with all his might. “Freds!”
His fist is almost numb before Freddie wrenches the door open. A gust of pot- drenched air hits JJ square in the face.
“What?” Freddie asks tersely.
“Can I come in?”
“Fine,” Freddie turns and wanders over to his worn arm chair and flopping down on it with a sigh, but having the decency to turn off
the music.
“Since when do you lock the shed?”
“Maybe I didn’t want any visitors,” Freddie says petulantly, lighting a new roach. JJ’s familiar with his tone, one which signals Freddie
is moments away from snapping.
“Right,” JJ says and takes a seat across from his. He’s used to Freddie’s moods now. “What’s wrong?”
Freddie lights a spliff and takes and takes a long drag. He shakes his head bleakly at JJ.
“Freds...”
“She’s gone, J,” Freddie sighs, stares at the roach in his hand miserably. “I thought she’d fucking talk to me, text me or something.
But she’s just...gone.”
“Oh...” JJ’s mind races. Shit, fuck, shit.
“I don’t know what to do, mate. I thought, after everything, things would be clear, you know?”
“Nothing feels clear anymore, Freds.”
“What would you know about? ” he laughs thinly. “Do still fancy her, J? Fair enough, let’s all be miserable then.”
“No,” and it’s only when the words are out he realises he truly means it. “No, I definitely, definitely do not fancy her.”
Freddie clenches his jaw, an unreadable expression milling on his face. Suddenly he shrugs and listlessly sinks into a faded armchair.
“I wish I knew how to make it stop. I think... fuck it, I think she’s broken me.”
“Not just you... Cook.”
“I...yeah, I guess.”
“I know something that’ll make you feel better, there’s a houseparty, tonight. It’ll be fun, and we could use some fun, Cook will be
there and...”he swallows. “Please Freds. Can we be ok again?”
Freddie looks at him solemnly, picking up a still smouldering roach and they stare as smoke rises from the dimly flickering flame.
“I’ll see you tonight, then.”
It shouldn’t feel like a victory, but it does.
~~~~~~
He’s a bit locked on.
It’s around one a.m and the hitherto quiet house party has taken a rambunctious turn. With the arrival of an exuberant Thomas, who was
hired as the DJ, the staid living room has morphed into a make shift mosh pit. The whole place is packed to the brim with people drunk or
high or some combination of both.
Cook, who thrives on chaos, drawn to it like a homing beacon, is the first person to gleefully flings himself onto the heaving crowd.
Effy’s vanishing act wasn’t the quick fix JJ hoped for. Now, Cook and Freddie have discovered a new way to goad each other. They’ve now made pulling girls into a competition, an inane game of one-upmanship. It seems to JJ, as he watches them both chat up a gaggle of girls in the corner, that they’ve replaced one source of friction with another.
He lost sight of them ten minutes ago, so he finds himself all alone amidst a crowd of people. The air is thick with sweat mingled with
perfume and aftershave and it’s a vile combination. Breathing is becoming a bit of an issue and he knows he’s perhaps two or three
minutes away from locking on completely.
He needs to find a bathroom before he makes a complete tit of himself. He bounds up a flight of stairs and starts groping around the darkened hallway for a light. He hears faint moans reverberating through closed doors and he quickens his pace.
He yelps loudly when a door is flung open a few feet down the hall. The cry whittles and dies in his throat when an irate Katie storms
out.
“Jesus. Fuck,” she snarls, not seeing JJ. A tall beefy looking bloke follows her out, fumbling with his fly.
“What the fuck is going on?” he slurs.
“No, the actual question is what the fuck were you doing with your phone out, you pathetic sadfuck.”
“Babe,” he drawls, and there’s something in his tone that makes JJ want to smack the sleazy look right off his face. “I wasn’t filming, alright. Stop being paranoid and let’s get back to it.”
Katie’s scowl deepens. “No, ugh. You had your chance.”
“Babe...”
“Are you deaf or something? I said no. So you can just fuck off now.”
“Fuck you,” he snarls back his pleasant demeanour forgotten. JJ finds himself walking towards them like he were being drawn forward by a
string. “So what the fuck, then, you some kind of lez now, like your sister?”
Katie slaps him so hard he staggers backwards a bit, his cheek already ruddy red. He’s about to step right into Katie’s personal space
when JJ nips in between them.
“Problem?” JJ asks, his nerves like kindling, ready to light. The bloke looks bemused for a second before shaking his head and
muttering a faint “fuck this” under his breath before stalking off. JJ watches his retreating figure and feels oddly hollow at the sight.
When he turns around he spots that Katie has retreated back into the room. He’s all tingly, and probably in need of a vat of mango juice, but he knows he can’t leave Katie in there, not when he can hear a faint, choked sniffle.
“Katie?”
He can see her now, sat on the edge of the bed, staring bleakly at the cream coloured carpet. There’s silence for a long beat before she raises her head. She fixes him with a glare so full of ire he feels it like a punch.
“What did you have to come in for? I had that covered, JJ.”
“No, I wasn’t trying to be in the way, or anything, but he was being an absolute twat...”
“Yeah, an absolute twat I was dealing with.”
“Alright, alright... was he...was he your boyfriend?”
“No, you tit. I dumped my now ex-boyfriend because he was a boring tosser. That guy...” Katie waves her hand dismissively as she gets up from the bed. “That guy was just there.”
“Ok.” JJ’s brow furrows in concern when he sees Katie trip and almost fall. “Are you ok?”
“Yes,” she snaps, and JJ thinks he can see a faint glint of tears inher eyes. She scowls while she begins groping around the dimly lit room. “Where did I leave them again? Jesus. Fucking shoes...”
“Right well, obviously...,”
“Seriously, JJ, don’t even bother. I want to be alone now, alright.”
He blanches. It shouldn’t sting, but it does. He’s well aware Katie’s volatile and a bit of a bitch, really. God knows two months ago he’d grab any possibility to scuttle away from her, but looking at Katie now, alone and despondent in some strangers bedroom, well, two months ago seems like a long time.
Still, the last hour has been all round horrendous and JJ feels the ominous faint rumbling of anxiety churning in his gut, and, oh no...no... “shit! Fuck, god, shit. Shit. Loser. Spazzo...ugh, Autistic fucktard.”
“JJ!” Katie says, striding over and slapping him lightly on the face.
“You’re doing that mental thing again.”
“Oh,” he feels much better now, Katie’s slap leaves a satisfying tingle on his cheek. “Thanks.”
“Yeah well,” Katie shrugs helplessly. “Can’t find my fucking shoes. I definitely was wearing them when I came in here.”
“I’ll help you look, unless you still want me to go...”
Katie just shrugs, and she looks so sad JJ wishes it was within his power to wipe that look off her face forever.
She’s distracted so he takes the opportunity to take a good look ather for first time. She’s different than previously at the pub, her hair’s done up in a messy bun with wisps of it charmingly curling around the nape of her neck. She’s wearing heavy dark eyeliner and the bright cherry lip stick she has on that’s thoroughly smudged (from kisses, he guesses, or at least, he hopes it’s just from kissing).
It hits JJ know with an uneasy jolt that she looks more like she used to, before Gobbler’s End. He can’t quite fathom why it bothers him, but it does. Katie’s face is lathered with make up and she’s wearing tight three- quarter pants and a garish fluffy leopard print top with her breasts....her breasts...almost spilling out entirely.
“JJ,” Katie’s voice sounds intrigued and laden with mischief. “Are you staring at my tits again?”
“What?” She’s coming towards him, and he can’t drag his eyes away from the provocative way she moves her hips as she struts over. Her breast are suddenly right there, directly in his line of vision, and he can’t look away, even if he wanted to, not that he would, because, hello, breasts. They looks so soft and supple, and he can see the outline of a nipple and he suddenly can’t think of anything else but how they would feel under his palm.
And, yeah. Definitely, definitely, locking on.
“Yes, perhaps, sorry, sorry,” and he squeezes his eyes shut, but it doesn’t stop the image of Katie’s breasts invading his memory. If he was normal, if he was Cook, he’d move forward, do something other than stay rooted to one spot.
“JJ,” Katie slides a hand down his face and he opens his eyes at looks at her breathlessly. Her eyes are gleaming with something he can’t name, as if she’s relishing coaxing the tremors of arousal he feels whenever his eyes flitter to her lips.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, this cannot, cannot, be happening.
Katie smirks and looks more at ease, as if she’s finally on familiar ground. A sense of foreboding briefly flitters over him, but dissipates once she grips his hips and stands snugly up against him. She smirks when she brushes up against his hardening crotch.
“Of course you’re looking,” she whispers, right next to his ear. “They look fucking good in this top, don’t they?”
Before JJ can stutter out a strangled yes, she’s on him, kissing him furiously. She grinds up against his jeans and brings a hand up the grip the back of his neck, eliciting a slight gasp from JJ when her nails sink into his skin. They’re kissing hard and within a moment Katie trails a tongue across his bottom lip. He reacts, can’t help himself, by opening his mouth and letting her in. He feels himself ache when she deftly flicks her tongue against his. Despite Katie looking small and soft and lovely there’s nothing delicate in her kisses. Everything is rough and fast, almost cursory, and JJ struggles to keep pace with her. Within seconds Katie walks him backwards towards the bed, a warm hand darting underneath his shirt. JJ’s gasps loudly when she drags her fingernails right down his stomach.
“Oh, oh, Jesus...”
The back of his shins meet the edge of the bed and with a determined nudge Katie pushes him into a sitting position. Before JJ can even respond she’s straddling him, kissing him ardently as she grinds her hips forward. JJ’s hands immediately grip her waist, eager to aid her movements, thrusting forward to create a hot friction between them. He breaks away from her lips and kisses down her neck. He nips and the nape and then sucks on the skin, moaning softly every time he hears Katie’s breath hitch.
She grabs a handful of hair, and it hurts and bit, but he forgets about it the second she squashes their lips together. Katie lets out a hiss, bites down on his lip until he’s hissing back, and before he can do anything she’s pushing him down until he’s lying flat on his back.
She’s lies on him immediately and her breasts are suddenly right there, squashed up against his chest and he slides a hand up between their bodies and palms one gently, stroking the underside until he hears Katie gasp. She sounds a tad surprised and JJ would be smug if his brain could comprehend anything other than “what the frigging fragging fuck”
When he gets to her nipple, he finds them not hard enough for his liking. He pinches it lightly, then drags his thumbs in a circular motion, round and round, until he feels it slowly rising underneath him. Katie’s moan is loud and it just sounds lovely, and JJ can’t help but feel satisfied about making her sound a little bit desperate.
Her breasts are...well, magnificent. They’re round, firm yet surprisingly supple. JJ can’t stop touching them, feeling how soft they are under his palms. Katie’s lips pull away from him with a sloppy pop and she sits up, still straddling him. The sight of her, breathing heavily on top of him, nipples standing to attention, sucks the air right out of his lungs.
“Come on, J” she says after a moment. “I know you fancy me, but I don’t have all night so let’s get to it.”
She’s tugging at the zipper on his trousers, and she’s about a nano second away from finally freeing his cock. He wants this, more than perhaps anything, but there’s something there, writ large on Katie’s face that makes him pause. Boredom and frustration and a whole bunch of other emotions JJ can’t decipher flitter all over her face and it’s enough for him to gently swat her hands away from his now (rather painfully hard) cock.
“Katie,” the words begin to cascade out. “I’m really, well, this is entirely unexpected, and lovely, very, very, very lovely, but I don’t think...I don’t think we should do this...”
“What the fuck?” Katie’s voice hitches slightly. “Jesus Christ, JJ, you want to stop now? What the hell is wrong with you ?”
“ Lots of things actually, but, wait....”
She slides off him so swiftly he can feel the residual warmth from her body lingering over him still.
“Katie!”
She strides out the door without even sparing him a look back while he’s sits up and fumbles his fly.
“Shitification!” he curses. He finally manages to sort his trousers out and starts to stagger after her.
He wishes he knew how to stop fucking everything up.
~~~~
He’s been looking for Katie for a good twenty minutes, darting around from one room to the next and with each passing minute he becomes even more frantic.
“JJ!” a firm hand yanks him back. He sees Cook in front him, his lank hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. He’s breathless and gleeful, a wide grin stretched over his face. He pulls JJ into a firm hug and squeezes him tight. “I was looking for you, mate. Got some very pretty ladies who would very much like to meet you...”
“Cook!” JJ struggles out of his embrace. “Have you seen Katie?”
“Katie?” Cook looks puzzled for a moment. Then his whole face lights up. “Oh yeah, she just went past. Told her that her tits look fucking mint in that top.”
“Where’d she go?”
“What’s wrong, J?” Freddie asks, popping up suddenly from his left. He looks a bit stoned, and a bit high, and he’s smiling for the first time in forever and JJ wishes he could enjoy it.
“Freddie, do you where Katie has gone?”
“Katie?”
“Yes, Katie Fitch, Katie. Katie.”
“ Um, she walked past, but...I dunno.”
“Which direction?”
“Fuck, it J” Cook grins. “Concentrating on other girls, aren’t we, Freddie?”
“Cook,” JJ bellows. “Which direction?”
“Fuck,” Freddie stutters. “Out the kitchen door, I think.”
JJ spins around and moves away so swiftly he barely catches Cook’s faint “JJ, why the fuck do you even care..."
JJ strides outside and winces when he feels cold sweat trickling down the back of his neck. He’s standing on a patio and there’s a large crowd right to his left, gathered around watching Thomas rap. JJ deduces Katie could not have exited left and must have turned right down a gloomy looking side street.
Thomas waves at him briefly and JJ twitches in return. He can barely breathe and it’s like he can feel anxiety settling on his skin. It’s too crowded, the air too stifling, and if he doesn’t find Katie, he doesn’t know what he’ll do.
He jogs down the alley way, casting eager, but fruitless glances around. He can’t seen anything other than a smattering of couples surreptitiously snogging behind a clump of trees to his left.
“Fiddlesticks!” he groans, slowing down as he reaches the end of the street. The music becomes a distance hum in the background but he can still feel the faint vibrations of the beat under his feet. “Katie! Katie!”
“You don’t take a hint, do you?”
He spins around and sees her sitting on the curb, sans shoes and looking utterly miserable. He can barely make her out, half shrouded in darkness, the only light coming from the window of a nearby house.
The venom, for now, has left her so he takes the opportunity to venture forward and sit next to her.
“Well I’m not very socially adept, if that’s what you mean,” JJ says, trying to cajole a smile out of her.
She rolls her eyes, but it’s lacking any malice. She looks down at the ground and for the first time JJ’s notices her blackened feet.
“You shouldn’t walk around in bare feet. You’ll injure yourself.”
“Who cares? It’s not like I have places to be” Katie replies sullenly.
“That makes two of us.”
Katie doesn’t reply, just stares moodily ahead.
“I’m sorry, Katie, but I think it’s important we talk about what happened, or, what didn’t happen, but could of happened, I suppose. And...”
“There’s nothing to say, J” Katie says caustically. “Having my head smashed in obviously made me insane. Otherwise why else would I hook up with someone who wears a...” Katie squints at him “is that a fucking Transformers t-shirt?”
“What, you don’t like Optimus Prime?”
“Right, I’m sorry but I didn’t spend my entire life speaking geek,” Katie says tartly, pulling out a cigarette from her purse.
JJ feels a frission of annoyance run through him, but it doesn’t linger. He’s best friends with Cook after all.
“Katie, what’s going on...”
“What, you suddenly give a shit now? That’s well lovely, JJ.” Katie lights the cigarette and exhales harshly, watching the smoke twist and curl in the breeze. “I guess I’m not fit enough for you, is that it?” she laughs bitterly.
“No! What?” JJ stammers, feels like this conversation is rapidly careening out of his control. He tries to catch her eye but she’s determined not to look at him. “Katie, Katie.”
“Just fuck off, JJ.”
“No,” he snaps and this jolts Katie from her stupor. She looks at him as if noticing him for the first time.
“You’ve got to stop because you’ve got it all wrong. Because, well, I have perfect twenty- twenty vision and I think you are, just...so pretty. Very, very, very pretty.”
“That’s...you think I’m pretty because you think I look like Emily,” Katie replies, although the hostility has drained from her voice, leaving her sounding tired all of a sudden. “Don’t look so shocked, I was there for Naomi’s little pissing contest at the Love Ball. You slept with Emily. You fancy Emily.”
“No, wait, yes, but only to the sleeping with part.” JJ winces, doesn’t like the dredging up a memory he’s trying to bury. “I don’t fancy her. I don’t even know her, not any more. I wish everyone would get over it because I am and I’d like to be friends with Emily without pissing off Naomi, somehow.”
“Maybe you should have thought of that before you shagged my sister“ Katie smirks nastily. “You’re really good at pissing girls off, aren’t you, JJ?”
“Listen!” JJ snaps. Katie flinches, but then meets his gaze defiantly.
“Just...” JJ takes a deep breath. “I wanted to let you know that I did...well, I think you could tell exactly how much I was enjoying myself before, obviously, physical reaction and all, and I wanted it, and by extension, you, definitively, but I just... unlike what happened with Emily... when I’m next with a girl, I want to be with someone who won’t want to take it back the next day, I guess."
Katie stares back at him for an interminable moment, pursing her lips just so, making his mind flitter to all sorts of utterly inappropriate thoughts. Finally she sighs, rolling her eyes at no one in particular. She takes a (startlingly provocative) drag of her cigarette.
“You get flustered when you’re embarrassed, you know.”
“Yes, I’m well aware of that. Sorry.”
“Jesus, don’t apologize for it,” Katie rebukes, but it’s so mild JJ can’t help but grin back.
“Katie...what’s going...”
“So...what were you doing,” Katie interrupts quickly. “ Stomping around by yourself at that pathetic excuse for a party? Where’s those musketeer tossers you’re always with?”
“Yes well...” and JJ’s startled to think how pleasant it was not to worry about Cook or Freddie for an hour. “We’re not...always together, anymore.”
“What happened?”
“Lots of little things, I think,” he says slowly, testing the words out. He doesn’t like how final that sounds, like he just announced the last rites of his friendship.
“It’s was that cunt, wasn’t it? She just came along and fucked everything up. Like she does with everyone.”
“Yes,” JJ says, and pauses to think a little more. “No, actually... I don’t think it’s possible she could’ve fucked everything up all by herself.”
Katie blanches, and for the first time JJ wonders what exactly transpired between her and Effy.
They’re quiet for a long moment, and JJ listens to the faint sounds of the party. He wishes he knew how to untangle the mess they’re all in now.
“What are you going to do now?” Katie asks suddenly, her voice soft and barely above a whisper. He’s not sure he likes seeing Katie so brittle. He reaches over and covers her hand with his own, faintly surprised when she doesn’t jerk away.
“I don’t know. I thought it was going to get easier, you know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Katie says, stubbing her cigarette on the asphalt and giving his hand a faint squeeze. “But fuck them, right?” she says very unconvincingly.
“Yeah, fuck them,” he says softly, not meaning it anymore than she does.
She squeezes his hand, and actually threads her fingers through his. His breathing becomes rapid, which is ridiculous, to feel so much at so little. Her hands are so soft, though, and small, and fit so snugly under his, and suddenly he’s right back in the bedroom, feeling Katie’s mouth on his. The memory so vivid he shifts around on the pavement awkwardly, feeling utterly exposed.
Katie seems to notice, smirking and glancing down at his crotch. The mood between them has shifted, and it’s making him feel both turned on and unsettled. Words, unbidden, begin to tumble out of his mouth.
“Well, you see, me, Freddie and Cook, it’s always been us. Then there was Effy, and it got all fucked up, and then there was a race and a boat and then she was gone and I thought...I actually thought that would be the end of it. But now...”JJ laughs humourlessly. “ Well, finally, they can be in the same room together. Except now Cook and Freds are competing to see who can fuck the most girls while pretending she doesn’t exist; which I think makes them, us, whatever, more fucked up than we were before.”
Katie squeezes his hand and smiles at him weakly. “ At least you don’t live with them. I know the solution- the three of you should just break up.”
“That’s not possible.”
“I don’t accept that. If they’re being pathetic tosspots then you drop them to the curb, end of story. There’s no way I would put up with it."
“You put up with a lot of things.”
“Only what I have to,” Katie says grimly.
“Katie...is everything ok? With your mum and all that?”
“What’s it to you?” she snaps, anger bubbling up to the surface. She tries to tug her hand away but JJ holds onto her tight, never letting his gaze lose hers.
“Fuck it,” she says quietly and all of a sudden her defiance has deflated. “Ugh, Emily, Mum, idiots...they all are, my whole fucking family.”
“I don’t understand,” JJ says gently. “Can’t your mum see...well, doesn’t your mum know about Emily being gay?”
“Mum can’t miss it” Katie snorts. “Emily’s doing her best to be as gay as possible. Which is..whatever, it's fine, yeah, but it’s like she’s trying to piss her off, talking about Naomi all the time, staying with her for fucking days, not calling... and mum, like, always has to say something about, always at dinner it seems, for fuck sake and...” Katie closes her eyes. “It’s my job it keep it together, yeah, otherwise no one would.”
“I get that.”
“Really? No offense, babe, but that’s unlikely.”
“No, I mean I get it. I really do,” and then he does what feels themost natural thing in the world; he leans over and kisses her.
He can barely stand it, how his heart clangs almost painfully in his chest. It’s so different, than the desperate kisses before, more tentative and soft, and it makes him almost shiver with nerves.
He moans, very softly, when she starts to kiss back, and he decides, there and then, that’s it the very best thing in the world, being kissed by Katie Fitch.
Katie pulls back suddenly, eyes wide and disbelieving. “What. The. fuck.”
“Is something wrong?” JJ asks, suddenly anxious.
“Yes,” Katie says. Then she shakes her head helplessly. “No.”
He’s confused, and about to tell her so, when she presses her mouth to his again.
It’s firmer and harder but doesn’t reek of desperation and he feels a tremor of desire run straight through him.
He could definitely, definitely, get used to this.
He likes the feel of her pressed against him, her curves nestling warmly against him. Their kisses turn languid and deep as he takes more of her into his mouth. She tastes like peach schnapps and cherry and something indescribably Katie. It’s a monumental turn on and he gasps when Katie wraps a hand around his forearm and squeezes. He reaches around and tentatively holds her waist. He holds her like she’s fragile, and he’s too scared to really let go because at any moment he swears Katie’s going to come to her senses stop this.
“JJ,” and she’s pulling away softly and looks at him firmly. “It’s alright I’m not going to break or anything.”
“Ok...but I just...why are we doing this?”
“I don’t know...”
JJ winces, and Katie’s eyes widen in concern.
“Hey,” she says softly. “It’s because...you’re lovely and you’re sweet, JJ. That’s why.”
“Well, that does seem like a legitimate reason for us to keep doing what we’re doing."
Katie’s laugh is swallowed by JJ’s lips. They’re kissing more firmly now and he’s got a hand in her hair and she throws a leg over him and she’s straddling him and it’s felt like nothing ever has before...
Katie lets out a exasperated groan and JJ pulls back. He’s confused until he hears a ringtone (Lady Gaga he thinks) coming from Katie’s bag.
He’s more than a little pleased how annoyed Katie looks when she pushes herself off him and sits down next to him to answer her phone.
“Hello? What the fuck do you want, Ems? Wait...how the fuck did she do that...actually I don’t want to know. Ok, ok, calm down, I’ll be there in a second...God,” Katie sighs, aggressively snapping her phone shut. She shoots JJ an apologetic look. “Emily thinks Naomi has broken her wrist or something. Twats. They’re back at the party, so...”
“I can help if you like.”
“No, I’ve got this,” Katie shoots him a regretful look and he feels his heart do a funny flip flop at the sight. She extends her hand tugs him to his feet. “She’s my sister, my problem.”
“Ok, well,” he’s unsure what to do, whether a few clandestine snoggingsession have shifted the dynamic between them. He offers her a half smile and a tentative wave good bye, but before he gets far she stops him.
“JJ, look ... I don’t do apologies, yeah. But I shouldn’t....that wasn’t right, what I did back at the party, like molesting you and shit, you know?”
“I didn’t mind,” he stutters, and blushes when she smirks at him. “I mean, yes, apology accepted.”
“And maybe...”
“What?”
“You could...” Katie sighs heavily. “God, why can’t you...”
“I would like to see you. We should hang out, again,” JJ blurts. His heart is rattling against his rib cage and he almost wishes she’d stop staring at him. Finally, she shoots him a small smile.
“Yeah, ok. When you’re not chasing those idiots around.”
“Just to clarify, this means you would like me to call you?” JJ asks seriously.
“Yes, JJ.”
“Good,” JJ grins. “Good.”
“I’ll see you around, J,” Katie says, shaking her head, looking as if she can’t quite believe her own words. Faintly, he now hears people calling his name from up the street.
“JJ. JJ!” Cook and Freddie materialises out of the gloom, stopping short when they spot Katie strutting past them.
“Katie?” Freddie asks.
“Freddie,” Katie says stiffly, walking past him briskly. They gape at her uselessly as they all watch her retreating figure get smaller and smaller.
“What the fuck was that?” Cook asks incredulously.
“Leave it Cook,” JJ says weakly as he turns and walks away from him.
“No, seriously, man...”
“I said leave it.”
“Alright,” Cook says affably, jogging to keep up with JJ. “Hold it, stop,” he grabs his forearm, and JJ jerks away.
“What are you doing here, Cook? What happened to all those girls you were talking to?”
“Fuck em, J, they’re not important.” Cook frowns. “We were looking for you everywhere, mate. Thought you were behaving barmier than usual.”
“Thanks.”
“No worries,” Freddie grins. “ Well, I don’t know about you lads, but all the strenuous activities I’ve been partaking in has really taken it out of me. What do you say, shall we go get some kebabs?”
“Strenuous activities, are you joking?” Cook sneers. He grins at JJ. “Don’t listen to him, he only fiddled with some bird’s tits. I’m the one who’s done all the heavy lifting.”
“Bollocks,” Freddie snaps back. “JJ, which one of us looks more shagged?”
“Fuck off,” JJ snarls. They both gape at him. “Do you actually hear yourself, what you’re saying? She’s gone, and it’s probable she’s not coming back, but you still have to fight with each over,” JJ waves his hands around helplessly, “ about this stuff.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, J,” Cook snaps belligerently. “This what we’ve always done.”
“You’re wrong. We used to have fun. We used to not fight. But now...come find me when you sort this out because I’m done.”
“JJ, come on, man,” JJ has started to walk away but Cook follows him.
“This is fucked, come on, we’re sorry, let’s just go somewhere, the three of us, and...”
“No.” JJ turns and looks him straight in the eye. “Sort it out.”
“JJ!” Cook says, and JJ can spot Freddie starting to walk after them.
“Fuck it, don’t be...we’ll be alright, won’t we? JJ!”
“I hope so,” JJ says quietly, shooting them a small smile as he walks away into the gloom.
“I really, really, hope so.”
~~~~