Change
I am trying to figure out how to change. I have changed in some really important ways but there are other ways that I need to change the very approach to my life.
People around me need things from me and sometimes I do not see what they need. Is it that I am so busy with the juggle of all the balls of my life or is it that i do not see the need as important? I think I am good at the big stuff in life maybe i just don't "see" the little stuff. I know that i need to make these changes , to be more aware at home and at work. But how? Sometimes I feel so damaged by my past that i can't see my future. I do not want to be driven by the past but every day I deal with the hurt and insecurities from then. How do I say I do not have all the answers to all your questions when I am the leader of the pack, it is my job to know. I feel the weight of 7 other people rest on my shoulders . Is it better to make no move at all then a wrong move. I have been so frozen in my fear that I can not break the ice. Nothing is not working. I have to move forward but I really do not know what is the right path. Do i have the right to ask for the things i need when apparently i am not giving what others need. I hate feel this fucked up.
People around me need things from me and sometimes I do not see what they need. Is it that I am so busy with the juggle of all the balls of my life or is it that i do not see the need as important? I think I am good at the big stuff in life maybe i just don't "see" the little stuff. I know that i need to make these changes , to be more aware at home and at work. But how? Sometimes I feel so damaged by my past that i can't see my future. I do not want to be driven by the past but every day I deal with the hurt and insecurities from then. How do I say I do not have all the answers to all your questions when I am the leader of the pack, it is my job to know. I feel the weight of 7 other people rest on my shoulders . Is it better to make no move at all then a wrong move. I have been so frozen in my fear that I can not break the ice. Nothing is not working. I have to move forward but I really do not know what is the right path. Do i have the right to ask for the things i need when apparently i am not giving what others need. I hate feel this fucked up.