(no subject)
Dear Colorado,
You were good to her, you helped me grow up and mature. I can't pretend anymore. I wish that I was going to see you. I think it may be better this way, you know for my heart. I don't think I could force myself off of the plane if it landed in Denver airport. My heart would close in upon itself and that lump in my throat that is there now would be forever with me. Right now I am in New Jersey, safe and sound, I have been able to pretend that she is with you, even though I know the truth. Selling that house makes me feel as if she is going to be even farther away then before, even though I know that isnt possible. There are so many things I'd like to say to her, but I know she knows them. So many parts of my heart are still in you, and will be there forever. I just need to keep telling myself that you would feel too empty to me without her, that I couldn't stand to be in your airport without her. I'd lose myself, I'd lose what little sanity that I have left, and I dont think that is for the best right now. So when she comes down from where ever it is she went to, tell her that I miss her, and that I hope she remembers all of the happy times that we had together. I hope that she doesn't know that I still cry so much, I don't want her to know that I do. I don't want her to know that I think she'd be able to fix me, and my heart. I think it would make her sad to know that she is too far away to try. Don't tell her that I feel like a child, that I feel so small sometimes when I can't shake the feeling that nothing will ever work out again. I want her to think that I am strong, and that I will be ok, and that I'll make it, even though I do have my doubts sometimes. Just tell her to remember me, because I will always remember her.
With Love,
Sara
You were good to her, you helped me grow up and mature. I can't pretend anymore. I wish that I was going to see you. I think it may be better this way, you know for my heart. I don't think I could force myself off of the plane if it landed in Denver airport. My heart would close in upon itself and that lump in my throat that is there now would be forever with me. Right now I am in New Jersey, safe and sound, I have been able to pretend that she is with you, even though I know the truth. Selling that house makes me feel as if she is going to be even farther away then before, even though I know that isnt possible. There are so many things I'd like to say to her, but I know she knows them. So many parts of my heart are still in you, and will be there forever. I just need to keep telling myself that you would feel too empty to me without her, that I couldn't stand to be in your airport without her. I'd lose myself, I'd lose what little sanity that I have left, and I dont think that is for the best right now. So when she comes down from where ever it is she went to, tell her that I miss her, and that I hope she remembers all of the happy times that we had together. I hope that she doesn't know that I still cry so much, I don't want her to know that I do. I don't want her to know that I think she'd be able to fix me, and my heart. I think it would make her sad to know that she is too far away to try. Don't tell her that I feel like a child, that I feel so small sometimes when I can't shake the feeling that nothing will ever work out again. I want her to think that I am strong, and that I will be ok, and that I'll make it, even though I do have my doubts sometimes. Just tell her to remember me, because I will always remember her.
With Love,
Sara